Something about my mood tells me not to write. At least, not to write all that I am thinking and feeling. I'm not even sure that I could begin to pen with any coherence what I am feeling anyway. I'm in a dark mood today. I'm currently sitting at work, waiting for Kris to fix our database so that I can work for another 3 hours before going home to an empty house. It isn't going home to an empty house that puts me in such a dark mood. Quite the opposite. I am looking forward to the solitude. Kris is playing in a charity 3-on-3 basketball tournament tonight and possibly tomorrow if his team doesn't lose both of their games tonight. Cindy is keeping the kids overnight and that leaves me alone to catch up on The Bachelorette and all the blogs from the Friday hops. This should fill me with joy and yet I find myself feeling...desolate. I feel like I am suffocating. There is no real explanation, besides my broken mental state. I hate feeling like this. It's been mounting...and I feel like there is a dam that is right on the verge of bursting. I keep telling myself I just need to get through the summer. When in reality, I just need to get back on some medication and THEN get through the summer!
Hopefully the quiet tonight will be comforting and bring some peace.
Would the dam bursting be bad? Sounds like you need to get the feelings out... I know when I was in a similar state...crying helped... How about praying? My heart feels heavy for you! Take Care Jamie
ReplyDeletePraying for His comfort for you, and his wisdom on what you need. I am sorry you are dealing with this!!!HUGS!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you off your meds? Money? So sorry you're feeling so blue. I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI hate that darkness. I hope you find a grand adventure, witty friends and smiling faces so that your excursion through the blogs will lift you up. I admire you for knowing to do something to leave the darkness and do not plan to be doing as I do. I turn off all the lights, curl up with a pillow and cry until I sleep. All I get is a sore throat, puffy eyes and a stuffed up nose.
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteJamie I was wondering if I should keep your children overnight. I wasn't sure how you and the mice would feel about it. The Kids did great!
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