Kris made dinner

**WARNING** - I am under the influence of several different medications and am not responsible for poor spelling or grammar right now, nor for any boredom you may feel from reading this.

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I had a really hard time NOT doing anything today.  I felt so useless and bored.  And now I'm sitting here, writing dinner...

Um...

Case in point...

What I was trying to say is "I'm sitting here writing medicated" but I was thinking about Kris making dinner.  Who knows what this post will turn into!  I'll have to type quickly to try to keep myself out of trouble!

First of all, I feel somewhat better than I did yesterday.  I can turn my head a little bit more, but still have to be careful.  I'm also still in quite a bit of pain but it is NOTHING like it was yesterday.  Unfortunately, the medication they sent me home with has very little effect on the pain (just my brain!), which I knew would be the case.  This isn't my first trip around the block, so to speak.  But overall, I'm better than yesterday.  So I'm thrilled about that!  One more day doing nothing, and then hopefully by Thursday I can ease back into life.  I do have an appointment on Thursday before Spanish class; a follow up with my primary to talk to her about ordering an MRI on my entire spine, not just the cervical part (which I already know I have two bulging discs on...).  I suspect my lower back has bulging discs as well, but only an MRI will determine that.

Back to dinner...

Because we are trying to actually live within our means, I have a dinner menu now.  Fish sticks and mac 'n cheese were on the menu for tonight.  It should have been an easy enough meal for Kris to take care of without my help, since he has made it before.  Tomorrow night was to be pork chops and Au gratin potatoes.  Kris got it in his head that he would make the pork chops tonight though.

Have I ever told you that I like to be in control?  I'm fine with Kris making spaghetti, or tacos or fish sticks, etc...as long as I don't have to watch him do it wrong NOT the way I do it.  But pork chops?  That's some scary territory folks.  You can only make pork chops if you know how to make pork chops!  THE WAY THAT I MAKE THEM.  Problem is, Kris wanted to make pork chops and keep me in bed while he did it.  I couldn't take it.  So naturally, I joined him in the kitchen, giving him small tips doing whatever I could get away with on the preparation.  I explained to him how *I* cook them and once I felt that he could do it the way that I did it, I went back to bed.  He cooked, and I sat in here anxiously waiting, hoping that he cooked them right and trying to keep myself from trying to take over.

I learned 2 things.

#1.  Giving the right guidance, I CAN then let go of some of the control I feel in the kitchen and allow someone to help with, if not complete, a meal.

#2.  I should trust my husband a little bit more.  The pork chops tasted delicious!!  So did the Au gratin potatoes.  He did a really great job.  He had better watch out though. Too much of that and I might begin to DEPEND on his cooking dinner from time to time.

I found it amusing to see him all hot and sweaty and tired from the cooking though.  I said "See why some nights I just don't feel like cooking dinner?"

All that to say, I really love that man.  Not just because he cooked dinner tonight.  Not just because he has been so selfless and taken such good care of me; making sure that I don't do anything to further strain my neck.  He has driven the kids to school, picked them up, dealt with the normal every day fighting I deal with on the drive home from school, cooked dinner, then put the kids in bed.

Above all of that, I am just so thankful that we were given a second chance at marriage.  That we CHOSE to give our marriage a second chance.  That he loves me as much as he does.  That he talks to me more now and makes me feel wanted and beautiful.  That he prays for me and with me; and that we can talk about our dreams and passions (foreign missions for me/inner city work for him) again, which we haven't done in so long.  I am so grateful that God intervened in our lives and in our marriage and made us face some very ugly truths about ourselves in order to bring us to the place we are at today.  We needed to go through what we did in order to be at the place we are today.

I am so happy to lay next to him at night, and wake up with him by my side.  And I am truly grateful for our story and the impact it could have on other people's lives some day when God decides the time is right for that.