I mentioned last night some of my struggles with forgiving myself. I finally understand that I just really don't get this concept of forgiveness. I grew up in the church. I went to Bible college. I understand the idea behind it. I have extended forgiveness to others, time and time again. But to say that I believe I have truly experienced it for myself...I don't think I can. Because I won't allow myself to forgive myself for wrongs I have done to others, I can't truly understand and accept God's forgiveness. There is something standing in the way.
And it's me.
So, when I heard "East to West" yesterday and really listened to the lyrics, I could really FEEL those lyrics. It's all about KNOWING that God forgives us and casts our sins away, but still not understanding just how far away He has cast them.
The concept of this song comes from Psalm 103:12 (NLT). "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." I love the way this translation doesn't just say He has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west, but that He has removed our sins as far FROM US. I'm the one that keeps holding onto them and keeping them close to me. God keeps trying to pull them far from ME.
My favorite line in the song is this:
"Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in. Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way."
There is another line that seemed to jump out at me, as I have come to admit that I am NOT active in this relationship between me and God, and it brought me some small amount of comfort. "I'm not holding onto You, but You're holding on to me."
Some day (soon I hope!) I will find healing and peace and really understand this concept of forgiving myself and accepting God's forgiveness...
I realized after I finished this that today is Good Friday. How appropriate that I should be thinking about it and pondering this concept of forgiveness, on the very day that marks our Christian reminder of The Cross and what Jesus suffered for us.
And it's me.
So, when I heard "East to West" yesterday and really listened to the lyrics, I could really FEEL those lyrics. It's all about KNOWING that God forgives us and casts our sins away, but still not understanding just how far away He has cast them.
The concept of this song comes from Psalm 103:12 (NLT). "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." I love the way this translation doesn't just say He has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west, but that He has removed our sins as far FROM US. I'm the one that keeps holding onto them and keeping them close to me. God keeps trying to pull them far from ME.
My favorite line in the song is this:
"Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in. Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way."
There is another line that seemed to jump out at me, as I have come to admit that I am NOT active in this relationship between me and God, and it brought me some small amount of comfort. "I'm not holding onto You, but You're holding on to me."
Some day (soon I hope!) I will find healing and peace and really understand this concept of forgiving myself and accepting God's forgiveness...
I realized after I finished this that today is Good Friday. How appropriate that I should be thinking about it and pondering this concept of forgiveness, on the very day that marks our Christian reminder of The Cross and what Jesus suffered for us.
this is my favorite line from this song, too. So thankful He forgives!!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a blessed Resurrection Sunday!!
~H