An Easter Offering

Taking the advice of our counselor, I wrote my thoughts on "Why I Deserve to be Punished." He encouraged me to burn it, as a symbolic sacrifice. It seemed important to me that it be done on Good Friday, and we also wanted to let the kids participate. Kris and the kids took some time to write their own "list" of sins they deserved punishment for, while I put together some songs that I wanted to listen to as a family. After listening to songs about God's forgiveness and Christ's sacrifice, we went outside to the grill with our papers and a lighter. This seemed the safest place for our sacrifice! While this song was playing, Katherine, Olivia and Abbey laid their papers on our makeshift altar and we watched them burn.

 

Kris and Kaleb went next, while Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) played. I went last. I videoed all of it until it was my turn. I gave my phone to Kris and had him video while I set my sins on fire and allowed Jesus to take the punishment for me. This is a short clip of my paper burning. I love the timing of the song with when my "sins" really caught the flame and began to burn.

 

What I found so interesting, beyond the timing of the words while I laid my sins on the altar, was that for some reason, my paper wouldn't continue burning. Everyone else's burned quickly and fully. Mine was stubborn though. There was a corner of the paper, maybe 2x2 inches, that wouldn't burn. I stood there trying to relight it, to burn it completely. It was imperative to me that it burn completely. And yet, it was as if Satan was trying to get in the way. Trying to keep me from giving it ALL. But I persisted and finally my sins were gone. Satan no longer has that hold on me. I am no longer holding on to the burden of guilt and shame that has haunted me and held me down for so many years.

Last night, for the first time in a very long time, I picked up my Bible, with the intention of opening it up and reading it. I've had a One Year Bible for years and, not surprisingly, I never did read through it in a year.   It has been on my bedroom floor for at least 6 months. It has been much, much longer since I actually opened it.  But I really wanted to read it. I wanted to open it to April 6th, which is how it is designed if you are unfamiliar, and see what God's word held. I was a bit skeptical when I opened up and saw that it was in the middle of Deuteronomy. I immediately thought "Well, this isn't going to have anything relevant."

What an idiot I am sometimes!

It began with Deuteronomy 29. It was all about a COVENANT that God made with Israel. As soon as I saw the word covenant, only 7 words in, I just shook my head at myself, eager to see what God wanted to say to me. Because I had, in a way, actually made a covenant with God to allow Jesus to take the punishment for my sins, I loved verse 9. "Therefore, obey the terms of this covenant so that you will prosper in everything you do." It isn't the part about prospering so much as the command to obey the terms of the covenant that really struck home with me.  God was saying "You made this covenant, now obey.  REMEMBER."

Verse 18 says "I am making this covenant with you so that no one among you-no man, woman, clan, or tribe-will turn away from the Lord our God to worship these gods of other nations, and so that no root among you bears bitter and poisonous fruit." This word ROOT has great significance for me. Through counseling, we are trying to find the ROOTS that tie us down and enslave us.  I shouldn't have been surprised at all that God was talking to his people about their ROOTS.

The reading for the day continued into Deuteronomy 30. Verse 6 jumped out at me. "The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live!" It was as if God was reaffirming everything that had transpired earlier in the day.

Verses 11-15 were a soothing balm for me to read:

"This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand, and it is not beyond your reach. It is not kept in heaven, so distant that you must ask, 'Who will go up to heaven and bring it down so we can hear it and obey?' It is not beyond the sea, so far away that you must ask, 'Who will cross the sea to bring it to us so we can hear it and obey?' No, the message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it. Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster."  I CHOOSE LIFE.

The next passage was from Luke, still a part of the reading for April 6th.  As I read Luke 12:6-7, I felt like God's love was just washing over and through me and it was a great source of comfort to me.  It was the culmination of everything that had been building up in my heart these last few days.

"What is the price of five sparrows--two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows."

Wow.