Google Reader

I used to read a lot of different blogs.  It was fun, and relaxing.  Google Reader made it really easy.  But when I would lapse, I would eventually return, finding that I had over 1,000 blog posts that were unread.  And I did what any good blogger and blog reader does and marked them all as "read".  Too many times I found myself in this position.  Somehow I got away from reading through my favorite blogs altogether.  Some were written by Godly women and since I was on the run from God, I avoided anything that would remind me of God and what was right.

I'm just now trying to get back to rediscovering all my favorite bloggers.  Today, feeling very agitated and restless, I decided to try to pick up where I left off.  To dig back into the souls and lives of people I've never met and catch up on their lives.  There is a lot to be said for the blogging community. Especially the women and mothers.  You really can find a lot of love and support there.

Today was no exception.  I just stumbled across something that really seemed to describe what I was feeling, and it was a good reminder to me that this new journey I am on is something I have to continue focusing on, minute by minute.

Heidi, over at ...with thankful hearts... wrote this, and it really helped to put my mind and restless heart at ease today.

"Sometimes I feel God's presence much in the same manner than Piglet felt the wind of Winds-day. I feel as if I am holding on for dear life as He swirls above and below me... rocking my world. I think I fear the wind less as I experience it. I'm learning that He has me and He is trustworthy. He will never let go!"

Which of course reminds me of "Never Let Go" by David Crowder Band.  And before I get back to being positive, what is it about his voice that annoys me so much?  So many of their songs have great lyrics, and yet his voice drives me insane!  ANYWAY...back to the blog...

You never let go.
You never let go.
You never let go.
You never let go.

There is something to be said for repetition in some songs.  Thank God that You never let me go!  I needed to be reminded of this tonight.

And then I got to thinking about Rich Mullins. I'm not sure why.  Likely because Jesus wanted to soothe my soul.  And while it isn't the day for "Music That Moves Me", you get this video for free.  It may cost you tomorrow.

The song "Hold Me Jesus" kept running through my head, so of course, I went to YouTube and listened to it.  This song has been around for a very long time, and I haven't heard it since maybe 1998.  And while I knew it would be powerful to me, with my new perspective on God and the Cross, I didn't expect to be so moved and so comforted by it.  It is amazing to me how often, and how deeply, God speaks to me through music.  I'm grateful for it.



Besides the obvious lyrics in the chorus that bring me comfort ("hold me Jesus, cause I'm shakin' like a leaf.  You have been King of my glory.  Won't you be my Prince of Peace."), there is a part of the song that reminded me of what I've done, where I've been, what Christ has done FOR me, and where I am going.

"Surrender don't come natural to me.
I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want
Than take what You give that I need.
And I beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees."

Hold me, Jesus.  That is my prayer tonight.