I'm so glad Christmas is over and that this year is almost over. It sure has been chaotic, to say the least. Last week was filled with enough drama and trouble than we've had in a long time. In one week, we had a miscarriage, I got laryngitis and Abbey broke her collarbone (this was Christmas eve too). It has to get better, right? I feel like I am just floating through waiting for the storms to pass. Will they? I'm not so sure I want to start a new year. New years come with new problems and I've had enough to last me for quite some time.



My sister got married. She seems very happy. The wedding was nice. It was a long weekend though with all the kids and the traveling, so we are definitely glad to be back home. We have a girl that might stay with us for a while, as she tries to put her life back together. We'll see what happens there.



That's really all. I don't feel like doing anything, even writing so this is going to be rather short. I have to 'discipline' Kaleb now anyway. Off to yet another fun daily task.

Well, in my opinion, the house just looks great! I can't wait to have people over! It seems like there might be a little less room in the living room, but I don't really care. I think it looks good! Tomorrow is the appt. with the psychologist for Kaleb. Should be interesting. Either he has been a little better the last couple of days, or God is better equipping me to handle him. Don't get me wrong...it has still been difficult to try to manage his behavior, but it has been less 'dangerous.' It doesn't help right now that they all, including Kaleb, have colds...so of course he is more whiny and less patient than usual. I can tell he isn't feeling the best because the girls are running around and playing 'school' and Kaleb is just watching cartoons. Kind of unusual for him. But the girls are funny. Abbey is wearing Katherine's backpack and Katherine is taking her around to different rooms, like she is dropping her off for school. It's cute.



I need to get a couple of prescriptions filled. The kids are out of their cough syrup with the codiene in it, so we definitely need some more of that--it helps their coughs too. Ha ha.



Tomorrow is the day before Thanksgiving. Where does the time go? It flies by. It seems like forever since my sister was out here for Thanksgiving last year, but at the same time it is hard to believe it is here again.



I need to get Kaleb out of my closet now and see what the girls are up to. Guess I should start thinking about lunch too. So many of the quick and easy things to make are so messy. I hate getting the kids all messy before taking Katherine to school. It annoys me. Uh oh...Katherine is crying. Must be a mommy now.

My feet are just KILLING me! I cleaned most of the evening. Am still at it. But the fun thing is that for the first time in almost 2 years of living in this house, we rearranged. I think it all looks cool. I just wish it wasn't after midnight and that I didn't still have to sort through all the junk on the table so the kids can eat breakfast in the morning. I thought I'd sit for a minute before going back to tackle some more.



So here is what we did. We have officially made the giraffe room our bedroom. It's kind of like a suite...the room is so big, so we not only have our bedroom stuff, but we also have the infamous pink chair and a love seat. Wouldn't it be great if I could turn the sun room into a master bath? Now that would be awesome!



So, what did we do with the computer and other couch? Well...we moved it to the room where our bedroom used to be. Yeah, we still have to come in here to get clothes out of the closet, but I think it will be worth it. Kris wasn't sure at first what he thought about my ideas, but he likes it now.



The other change we made is to the living room. It is so difficult to really rearrange in there, espcecially since we have this huge sectional couch thing. There's only one place you can really put it, which is why we have not rearranged since we moved in. But we took the middle piece out, and switched the living room around too. I like it actually. It does gives us less room in there, but it looks cool, more of an intimate setting.



I'm really tired right now. I should get back in there and work on the table. I am hoping that now that the rooms are rearranged a bit, it will be the boost I need to get the laundry done and the rest of the house cleaned up. I still have to figure out when I am going to go to the grocery store. I was going to go tonight to get stuff for Thanksgiving, but got carried away with changing my house around. I think Kaleb's room will be next. We moved some stuff out of his room, so I am thinking about moving his bed and dresser around. We'll see. It would force me to clean his room!



I've been so distracted and discouraged lately. Kaleb has just really worn me out. I think I am getting out of that--hopefully. I need to do so much stuff, but have lacked the desire or motivation to even begin. But I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Kaleb and Abbey go to the doctor in the morning for their check ups. I think they both get shots but I am not sure about that. Kaleb might be spared...we'll see.



Ok, time to get back to work so I can go to bed in my new huge room.

So today I am toying with the idea of driving to Indiana tonight. Either that or leaving at 7am and going out there tomorrow. My sister told me that tomorrow my mom is having the family Thanksgiving dinner. She knew we couldn't all afford to come out there for it, but I really need a break. So I am considering it. It would be kind of cool if all of us showed up out there, (Kris and the kids) but I/we haven't decided if we want to do that or not. I thought we wouldn't have enough money...but I think that we would be ok financially. Hmm....so many decisions. Another option is to take Cindy with me rather than going by myself. But then again, I know the kids would love the chance to see their cousins. I am also thinking that if all 5 of us went out there, surely there would still be enough food. Hmm....



So, I thought that rambling on about it would help me to decide. I am leaning towards all of us going. We could leave tonight and still get back Saturday night and be here for church. I have to be back Sunday anyway to pick up the bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding.



Now I'm just frustrated with not know what I want to do. I guess I'll wait for Cindy to call me to figure out what her plans are this weekend.



That was really boring wasn't it? But I guess I don't really care because isn't this kind of like an outlet?? And you can stop reading anytime you want to. :)



Kaleb has been ok today. I'm really stressed. I feel tense all the time. I am hoping that some time away would give me what I needed to make it through next week. I feel really distracted all the time now. Unfocused. Or rather, unable to focus. I am having trouble doing anything around the house-laundry, cleaning, etc...

It has been a really long week. Well...really the last month has been long, but this week has seemed so stressful and difficult to get through. It is actually kind of depressing to me that today has barely started and there is still tomorrow to get through before the weekend.



I took Kaleb to the pediatrician on Monday. He seemed to think that my concerns were valid and suggested that I take Kaleb to see a child phsychologist. He didn't think there was anything physical going on with him.



Tuesday night at counseling Kris and I asked Karen about it. She recommended a lady that takes our insurance...she is a Christian and specializes in working with young children. We have been praying for Kaleb quite a bit. We are thinking that maybe he is sensitive to spiritual warfare or something of the sort. I think the prayers aren't really helping him so much but they are helping Kris and I, I think, to stay focused and try to trust God with how to handle Kaleb.



Today for no reason he just started taking his cereal and milk out of his bowl with his fingers and dropping it on the floor. I just calmly took his bowl and spoon away and out came the anger from him. He screamed in his chair for a while and then got down and knocked his chair over, on purpose. He screamed and yelled and made these ugly noises at me, and then suddenly, he was fine. I don't get it. And recently (this week) he has started to draw these questionable pictures. He is obsessed with his lower body, which the doctor said was not unusual for his age, but twice now I have caught him drawing picture with 'boy anatomy' and he talks about it and laughs as he is drawing them. It's just weird.



There is a fear deep down that Kris and I have, that someone has done something to him. The thing is, we can't figure out who or where or when. We don't leave the kids alone too often and when we do it is usually just with Cindy and Dean, and the thought does not even enter my mind that one of them would be doing something. Kris either. I know that none of us have done anything. And maybe no one else has either. I hope that is the case. But these signs he is displaying and the obsession...it's all just kind of weird.



Anyway, I have an appointment to meet with the psychologist next Wednesday. I hope that I can survive with him until then. On the positive side, Kris only has 3 days of work next week with the holiday and all.



My sister and her fiance are coming into town next Wednesday. That will be fun. We will spend Thanksgiving together and then my sister and I will have our annual (we started last year) stand out in the cold to get some good shopping deals the day after Thanksgiving. That night, as long as we can find a sitter, Kris and I will take Jenny and Raju to the casino, kind of like a bachelor/bachelorette thing for them. It should be fun.



I need to find a stress reliever. I feel so tense and have for the last couple of weeks with Kaleb. It has been very difficult to stay home with him. And yesterday Katherine's teacher told me that for the first time they have had to get onto her for not paying attention at circle time and she has gotten in trouble. I really think it is because of the situation and tension in the home with Kaleb and his behavior. I think it is sad. The fact that she is now being affected during school by it...something is just not right. Hopefully we will get it figured out. I know that God is in control of all things and that He will guide us. I just hope that He gives me extra strength in the process.

Well, I decided that since Jenn and Dacia have started blogging again that I would too now. It seemed like for a while I was the only one blogging!



Life has been rough the past month or so. But by God's grace things are getting better and my relationship with my husband has never been better! I want everyone to know, though I can't go into details about it, Kris was my hero last weekend. He stepped up, was a man, and led our family spiritually and it was awesome to see and renewed my love for him.



Kaleb has something wrong with him. It isn't physical at all. The past 3 weeks he has been so angry and defiant. This is not just typical 3-year-old behavior and anyone that tries to tell me it is can come and live at my house for a while and see for themselves. Kris and I just aren't sure what it is. He has something, maybe emotional or chemical going on with him. At first I thought maybe it was just him reacting to my emotions as for a while I had been in turmoil emotionally. But I have come out of that and the behavior and unreasonable-ness has continued. It is barely 10 in the morning and already we have been through 2 screaming fits, the first of which he got physical and was scratching and kicking me. I can't handle him. I don't know what to do with him and have two times now put him in the sun room and locked the door (I have stayed right there watching him) to keep from hurting him. It's pretty bad. I thought I would be able to wait until next week when he has his routine check up at the doctor, but after this morning, I called and he is seeing the doctor today at 2:30. Something has to change. Kris and I are helpless with him and don't know what to do. Continued prayers would be appreciated, that either God would miraculously take away whatever is affecting him or that the doctors would be able to figure out what is wrong and how to help him. He is just not himself. These moods come rapidly...and then can last as long as a half hour and then immediately he returns to his calm normal 3-year-old boy self. It's strange.



I guess that's all for now. Will update later after I find out what the doc says. Hopefully the appt. will prove helpful and not discouraging for me.

So, here is an amusing and sweet story that almost makes me cry. I am so proud of Katherine and so amazed at how innocent little children are and how big their faith can be.



Abbey decided to take a whole roll of toilet paper and play with it, in the bathroom. Katherine thought she would help clean it up. The yellow trashcan in the bathroom was full, so Katherine decided to just flush it down the toilet.



Katherine came out into the living room where Kris was and said "Daddy the toilet's full of water."



Kris went into the bathroom and decided that the best solution would be to flush it. When asked later (by me after I got home and heard the story) why he didn't just take the toilet paper out, he just had this look on his face. So he proceeds to flush it, causing the toilet to overflow.



In anger, Kris hit the door. It is important to state that this is in anger because it will play a large part in this story. Katherine got upset and started to cry. Kris let her know that he wasn't angry at her and that he was proud of her for trying to help.



They went out of the bathroom and were discussing the whole situation. Kris told Katherine he was sorry for getting angry and said "You get angry too sometimes, don't you?" Katherine said "yes". Kris asked her if she knew what they should do when they got angry. She said "yes" and he said "what?" Katherine said, "I want you to say it with me daddy."



Kris said "Why?" Katherine then said "Because I don't know what it is but I want to say it." Kris told her that they should pray to God to help them when they get angry. They talked some more about stopping and praying when they got angry. So then they prayed together, something about helping them be slow to anger--Katherine was repeating Kris.



Katherine afterwards started talking about the toilet again. She said she didn't know how to fix it and asked what kind of tools Kris had. Kris told her he had a hammer and a saw and some other tools but that they didn't work on toilets. "Let's pray that God helps daddy fix it." So they prayed. Then Kris went into the bathroom, plunged it and the water went back down. Then Kris went to Katherine and showed her that God had answered her prayer. Katherine got really excited. She said, "I can't believe God has tools to fix toilets." And then they just talked about how great God was after that! It was so cute because I came home as they were talking about it when Kat was in bed. And she was SO excited about God answering the prayer about it. It was so cool to see that!



So that was one story. Here is another funny story. It's not the story about how Kaleb keeps painting his fingernails and doing a really good job--that will be saved for a later day. Kaleb 2 nights ago apparently told Kris at bedtime that he had prayed earlier for a baby brother and God said yes. AHH!! Scary huh? But I wouldn't mind if God did tell him yes I suppose. But the problem is that Katherine really wants a baby sister. So tonight, after hearing the toilet story, we were talking and somehow the subject got changed to that of a baby. And we told her that Kaleb had asked God for a brother and asked if she wanted a baby brother. She said no, that she wanted two sisters first and then a brother. (So now I'm up to having 6 kids total!!)



Well, I was getting ready to go out of there and decided to see if she would pray with me before I left. She asked me to do it with her and so I told her I would repeat after her. So she started praying and she said "Dear God..." and then there was this long pause and you could tell she was really thinking about what to say. "God, I pray that I have a sister and that Kaleb doesn't pray for a brother ever again. She thought some more and had this cute smile on her face, and then said "In your name, Amen." It was great!! How funny they can be!

My grandmother turned 80 last week. We had a big bash at my mom's house in Indiana for her. She really enjoyed it. I am hopefully going to get to Florida in a couple of weeks to spend some time with her. It's kind of sad that before this weekend the last time I saw her was 5 years ago at her 75th birthday party. She had never even met any of the kids. Sad, I think. But it is difficult to get to Florida, not to mention expensive. So it isn't like we were avoiding her.



Kris told me a funny story last night. When he was putting the kids to bed, right before they prayed, Kaleb told him "I asked God for a baby brother and He said yes." Interesting. I wonder if that will happen?? We'll see I suppose!



My sister Jenny got engaged this weekend. I can't spell the guy's name-he is Indian and I don't even want to try to mispell his name! He is very nice though, so I'm happy for her. He really seems to care about her and is very kind to her.



Not too much else has happened really. Kind of a boring few weeks.

As crazy as my kids make me at times, I love them more and more each day. Sometimes I look at them and I am amazed that I can feel such great love and appreciation for them. Each day it is more than the day before and if you really think about it, it seems like it isn't possible for that love to keep growing, but it does.



Today they have been so cute. They play "house", or "work" or "doctor"--not the bad kind though, of course. Sometimes they are mommy and daddy and all you hear is their babies crying. That part is annoying, but it is still cute. I start to get onto them for whining and they inform me that it is their babies that are crying. Today Kaleb and Kat were running through the hallway and Kaleb says, "Let's go to my work." I love it when they can actually play well together. And though Abbey can't really talk much, she follows them around mimicking them.



This morning Katherine was singing her ABC's. When she finished, Abbey was sitting there and she looked at her and said "Abbey, sing with me." So Kat started again and you hear her singing and Abbey making all these noises, which is her way of singing. It was adorable!



So, while I still look forward to nap time everyday, I love them. With all my heart. And I wanted to share that.

Kaleb is now 3. We had a birthday party for him Monday night. I think he had fun. Kris let a bunch of the neighbor kids come over. I'll stay away from my perspective on that and just say that I think Kaleb enjoyed it anyway. Kaleb was really excited about all his spiderman deocrations and he got 3 spiderman gifts, so he's loving that. Katherine and Kaleb had a good time Monday morning discovering that they were both 3 at the same time. It was cute.



I need to get back to sewing again. I miss it. I wish that our basement wasn't torn up since all of my stuff is down there. I have projects to work on, but it's so daunting to go down there to get stuff so I just don't. We're all lucky if I get the laundry done. I have it in my head that if only it were main level, I would keep up with it. I think that is just wishful thinking but who knows...it might be true. But I won't know until we have a house with main level laundry!



Having trouble with our van now. We have spent about $1000 between our van and Cindy's (grandad's) car in the last month and now might have problems with our radiator. Hopefully it was just low on antifreeze, but unlikely with the luck Kris and I don't seem to have with cars. Oh well...God has always provided and I know he will continue to.

Well, Katherine's first day of school is officially over. I was so happy to see her again. When we walked into her classroom there was one other boy in there with her--all the other students had left already. And Miss Donna (her teacher, of course) was reading a story to them and Katherine was just sitting there cross-legged listening with her backpack on, waiting to go. I looked inside her backpack and there was a folder in there she had decorated with stickers and inside was this form to fill out, so the teachers and students could get to know her better. I asked Katherine all of the questions and then just put her answers down. I have to share two of them in particular.



There were 2 statements she had to complete: It makes me happy when... and It makes me sad when...



These were Katherine's answer...word for word.



It makes me happy when Kaleb and Abbey and you and Mommy give me a hug and a kiss.



It makes me sad when I have to try to go potty when I don't need to go potty.



I laughed and laughed. It was so cute and funny. That's Katherine for sure!! I'm so proud of her. Right now Kris is making her tell him what she did at school while he videos her. She really had good time and Miss Donna said that she did very well today.

Katherine starts preschool today. It is so exciting. She is SO excited!! Kris is coming home early today so that he can go with me to take her. I feel fine right now, but I don't know how I will feel when it is time to let her go. She will do so well and have a blast and it will be interesting here at home while she is gone, but it is so hard to believe she is old enough to be out of the house without me.



We went to my parents house this past weekend. It was a good trip. Glad to be home though and sleep in my own bed. We are heading back out there in September for my grandma's 80th birthday party. I haven't seen my grandma since her 75th, so it will be nice to sit with her and just play scrabble with her! After all...she is the one who taught and challenged me in that game! Dacia and Jenn....we need to play again!

So, the Evanesence concert was interesting, to say the least. Let's see...the first three bands I did not care for at all. I was hoping that Seether would have more songs that I liked, but no...they just had "Broken" and now I think that the only reason that song is any good is because Amy Lee from Evanesence sings with them. Every band that came out said things like "Hey St. Louis, how the f*** are you?" Or "Let's get this f***ing thing started!" It was horrible. And of course...almost every song had that same word or some form of it in there and so it was just not enjoyable. Amy Lee said that word once in one song...and so it wasn't as bad as the others. And she was really friendly (on stage-because it's not like I met her) and funny. Good performer. Her part of the concert was really good. My tickets ended up being lawn tickets, but it was a beautiful night and Addie and I had a good time. Saw some really WEIRD people there, which we expected but still had fun.



Katherine has her open house tomorrow night for preschool. I can't believe it is here already. She knows her teachers name...every now and then I'll ask her, and she remembers from having been told only 2-3 times that her teacher's name is Miss Donna. I am so excited that she will get to interact with other kids her age and start to learn more than what she does at home. She has a brilliant mind and it will be so cool to watch as she develops. School starts a week from tomorrow. I am hoping that the dynamic between Kaleb and Abbey will change some once Kat is in school. I think it will. I am not expecting miracles with the way that Kaleb and Abbey fight all the time...I just think the whole dynamic of the household will be different and I think it is a change that I am looking forward to. I guess we'll find out.



I had a good weekend. I stayed out at a hotel last night. It was my weekend to be completely kid free. I am really tired right now, so I can't decide if completely is spelled with that extra e before the l or not. I think I have it right. I guess it would have to be otherwise is would sound like com-pleht-ly instead of com-pleet-ly. Anyway, that was interesting and good to know, huh?

So I had a pretty interesting weekend. I kept hearing that Evanesence was coming to the UMB Bank Pavilion on Aug. 13 and so I just started looking around on line to see how much tickets were. But the problem was that I couldn't find anything about it online. Well on Friday I started listening to 101.1 constantly because they were giving away tickets the entire weekend to the 10th caller. So everytime they played Evanesence or Seether, you had a chance to win the tickets. So I started calling Friday night. I got through twice...once I was caller 1 and another caller 3. I gave up for the night and throughout the day on Saturday I made some attempts and never got higher than caller 9. There were two attempts on Sunday and I made Jim and Mary turn their radio on to 101.1 that afternoon while we were playing bridge. So I hear the familiar intro to Seether's song "Broken" and I get my phone out and take my time trying to give the other 9 callers time to get through. Then I dialed. It was busy. So I thought, well, I'll try again.



This time, someone picked up and said "Hi, who's this?" I was kind of in shock, but I managed to say "Jamie." And he says "Hi Jamie. How would you like to be caller #10?" And I said, "I would love to be caller number 10!" So, I won 2 tickets to see Evanesence and Seether this coming weekend! I couldn't believe it. I am still kind of in shock over the whole thing...because I don't win anything...EVER. So, needless to say, I am thrilled and blessed at the same time that though Addie is going out of town for the weekend, she is not leaving until Saturday so she will be able to go to the concert with me, which works out well because I wouldn't want to go with anyone but her! We'll have a blast!



Not much else is really going on right now, but I have to say I have really enjoyed this weather. This morning I sat outside in front with the kids and read while they played...for at least 2 hours. It was nice. It reminded me that I want to go camping again, and soon. Hmm...wonder when we can arrange that.



Katherine has preschool open house next Monday night and then will start school the following Monday. How exciting. Kris is even taking off work that day to take her to school with me. He's cute in how much he wants to see her go off for her first day of school. I bought her a new outfit to wear (my mom always spoiled me that way) and after her open house we will take her shopping for a backpack. She has already informed us numerous times that she would like a Barbie backpack...so that is probably what we will end up getting. She is also very excited about having to bring her own snack to school...I wasn't nearly as excited...but I am going to do my best to remember to send one with her everyday! I figure she and I can go to Sam's and pick out a couple of different snacks for her to alternate. She's going to really like school.

Well, I finally braved the grasshoppers today and went downstairs to do the laundry. Kris' intentions were good...but I am home a lot more than he is. But fortunately, I didn't really see any--yet! I tried not to look or shake clothes out...I just put them in the washer. I'd rather deal with dead ones than ones jumping around as I pick up clothes. I can tell by the weather that I will get a lot done today. I am actually motivated...it could be the thunder outside or the darkness in the house. I like it though because I rarely feel this way, and so stuff rarely gets done!



I can't believe it is already August. Time goes by so quickly. Kaleb with turn 3 this month. I can't believe that. I don't even want to think about the fact that Katherine will be four and going to preschool. Abbey now says mama like all the time. It's cute because the way she says it is just so funny. Her voice goes up at the end and she sounds really emphatic. Her other favorite word right now is uh oh. She has now started to shake her head and say hmm mm...like no. It's funny. If you ask her a question, positive or negative...the response is the same. It will be no time at all before she is talking in sentences.



We finally got life insurance! Very exciting for us. The coverages were a lot better than what we had before from Met and we aren't having to pay more than we anticipated having to pay...and we were anticipating lower coverage. I need to call my mom...she will want to know.

I paid off 2 small credit cards today.  It felt so great!  Sometimes, though I don't understand it, I think the rain motivates me.  Mostly you hear that people feel tired or lazy when it rains.  Apparently I work the opposite way.  I feel tired and lazy when it is bright and sunny out.  I was in a cleaning mode this morning...and it feels good to have some much needed tasks completed.

 

I can't do laundry.  Kris said so, so I will "obey."  He went down last night to put some whites in (he needed socks).  He came back up and said that I couldn't go down there and do laundry...that he would do it.  Confused, but thinking "cool" I asked him why.  Well...we've had grasshoppers in the basement since we moved in.  Apparently, some of them decided to mate and then have babies...right in the middle of the pile of clothes that was down there.  It should teach me to keep up with the laundry...but I doubt it will.  So, Kris was telling me how gross it was, and I was thinking "well, it can't be as bad as the cockroaches we had at the college apartment."  I asked him how bad it was and he said he wasn't sure but he had seen at least 10 small baby grasshoppers!  Yuck!  So, he knows me too well and knows that it will be a bad situation for me to go down there and see them all hopping around.  We need to spray down there.

 

I picked up a Spanish review book/workbook at Borders Monday night and have started going through it.  I am so excited!!  I have so much fun when I am "involved" in any way with Spanish.  What I really want/need is someone hispanic to come and live with me for a while so that I can get some practice conversing.  It's fine to go through grammar and learn vocab...but it would be so much better to actually be able to practice speaking on a regular basis.  Anyone know how I can get someone to come live with me?  I'm serious.  Oh I know...Jenn Reedy, you just come live with me for a while!  :)  You should be pretty good with the Spanish by now!

 

I still need to call a lady about life insurance.  I wish these things didn't keep coming up.  I had made a budget that was going to be really good for Kris and I for after we pay off our debt.  I included everything, or so I thought.  Until today, I didn't realize that it did NOT include life insurance.  There are 5 of us...and we have none at all.  I think I am going to do the Gerber thing with the kids...should be pretty cheap for them at least.  Maybe I'll do that today.

I'm very excited.  Today we got a check in the mail from Metlife for $6500!!  Yippee!!  Wouldn't it be great if we didn't have a bunch of credit card debt to put that on??  Oh well...it will feel so good to take $6000 of that and put it directly on our debt.  That will more than cut it in half!  Yeah...we have a lot of debt!  I say $6000...the downside is that we need new brakes on the van and all that good stuff...so we have to set some aside!



And anytime now, we should be getting 2 other checks from Met.  What a relief it is going to be!  We have vowed NOT to go back into debt.  God help us with that!!!



Abbey was so cute today.  Up to this point, she has not really said "dada/daddy".  Well Kris called today to talk to Katherine about something and so of course all the kids wanted to talk.  And I gave the phone to Abbey and said "tell daddy hi" and she gets this grin on her face and says "hi" and then she said "dada...dada"  It was so cute.  Very very soon she will just take off talking I will not remember what it was like without her talking...but that's ok with me.



Of course the downside to talking is with Katherine right now.  Her favorite phrase right now is "I don't like you..."  Usually it is directed at Mommy...today it was Kaleb, so I told her to go to her room...and THEN it was "I don't like you MOMMY!"  Oh well.  I don't really care.



Jenn...in case you read this and I haven't called you...which day next week (if either of them) work out best for you for dinner--Wed. or Thurs??  Let me know.



I am going out ALONE tonight.  Kris is going camping this weekend, so I get one more night off before the weekend alone starts.  I'm kind of looking forward to it though...the way things have been right now it will be kind of nice I think.  And it will be good for Kris.



Ooh...I was going to take a Spanish class in the fall...but I found this really cool review book/workbook at Borders the other night...and so I am going to go through that.  I think it will be right at my level and very helpful.  I'm very excited about it.   Andy and I were going to take the Spanish class together but I am going to see if he wants to go through the book with me.  We'll see.

I love that I can put pictures on here now. How adorable they all are! 

And look at this cutie now! 

And my other beautiful one, Abbey. So tiny they used to be. 

Does anyone have any doubt that this is Kaleb?? That seemed to fit his personality VERY well!! 

But look at my big boy now! At least he isn't crying in that picture! 

My first beautiful baby girl-Katherine 

How fast Katherine has grown! 

Well Dacia, thanks for making me feel guilty!  :)  I check the blogs quite a bit...but recently just have not had much or wanted to say much.  A lot has been going on, but nothing extraordinary.  Life has just been passing me by.  I get through day to day, not really sure how.  But I make it through.  To say I've been unhappy lately would be an understatement.  I've always heard that years 5-7 really can take a toll on marriages...guess we are finding that out.  Kris impressed me though and made a counseling appointment for Tuesday night.  So maybe we can start to figure out who and where we are as a couple.



On a positive note, Kris and I will be able to pay off ALL of our credit card debt within the next two months.  Kris decided to cash out his 401K from Met and that will arrive by the end of next week.  That will knock out the majority of the debt and then in August we should recieve a little over $3000 from his retirement from Met and that should take care of the rest.  It will be so great.  I wrote everything out today and came up with a budget that will allow us to save but also give us some freedom and flexibility with our finances.  I'm so excited!  Now if we can just stick to that budget!  That will be the hard part.  I need to open a checking account where I transfer all the stuff we are trying to save directly over when he gets paid.  If I don't do that...we might end up finding ourselves in the same place.  This will be the third time we are out of debt...you know how the saying goes.  We'll see!



The kids have been about as crazy as they could be.  This entire week there has not been one calm day.  And I know--can you have a calm day with 3 kids so close in age (or any 3 for that matter)?  Well, there are days that I would consider calm.  There were NONE this week.



My frustration turned to laughter by the end of Tuesday night.  It was just ridiculous.  So, for the most part earlier in the day they were ok.  They didn't really fight much.  Then later on I found an empty koolaid package (black cherry-not that that part is important besides the fact that it is dark red).  I didn't think much of it...until I went into the living room and found a baseball size spot on the carpet where the koolaid had been opened up and poured out.  Now keep in mind that this was just the powder.  I think there was a little milk or water in the center...but I didn't think anything of that either.  Actually I just didn't think.  So, I got the woolite oxy deep out...BIG MISTAKE.  Remember that baseball size spot???  It became, within seconds about the size of a small child!  It wasn't long after that that I decided to give the kids chocolate milk.



So, the chocolate syrup container was empty (or so I thought) and I put it in the trash.  Katherine came into the living room (maybe about 10 mintues after I had TRIED to clean up the koolaid) and said that Kaleb has the chocolate syrup.  So I go into the living room to find that Kaleb had indeed gotten the chocolate syrup bottle which I thought was empty and had proceeded to put that all over the carpet in the giraffe room.  Well, not all over, but ENOUGH.  So, that was interesting...both spots still are not completely cleaned...after about 5-6 applications of spot shot and it still was not clean, I decided to give up for a while.



Okay...so that in and of itself was enough for the day to be "hectic."  Well, during dinner, I had made a comment on the amount of things that had been spilled today (I think there were more before/during those other two that were mentioned).  Seriously...right after I said that, Abbey proceeded to take the lid off of Katherine's sippee cup.  Fortunately it just had water in it...but that ended up all over the floor in the dining room.  I just laughed.  What else could I do???  Okay, now this next story...I am not kidding-happened probably within 10 minutes of the other.



Katherine came into the dining room where we were playing cards.  This is what she says:  "Mommy, Kaleb has the coffee."  My heart sunk.  I knew that meant that not only did he have the coffee (it was the instant kind...coffee grounds...not already made), but that he had most likely opened it up.  Sure enough, as I walk into the giraffe room...coffee all over the entrance to the giraffe room.  I just kind of screamed!  I was in shock I think.



I still shake my head just thinking about it!  I seriously need like a week off.  Other people with jobs get a vacation...can't I have one?  And all of this is WITH me taking wellbutrin!  I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't been taking it.  Actually I know what would have happened...either one of my kids would have gotten hurt or I would be in Florida right now staying with my grandma and visiting the beach!



Anyway....I guess that is all that is going on for now.  Dacia, I will try to be better about blogging!  :)  Just teasing you.  I'm glad you had a "good time" with Kyle when he got home! :)



Jenn...when are you going to come over for dinner??



Okay...I see there is a place to upload images on here, so I will try that since I could not get pictures on here the other day.

Katherine said some funny things recently. Yesterday she was walking by Abbey and said "Abbey you're just the cutest baby." And then she turns to me and says "Mommy isn't Abbey a cute baby?" I thought it was funny. And then this morning I was changing Abbey's diaper and she started asking me what was wrong. I wasn't sure what she was talking about, but to set it up, the kids are supposed to have their cups on the table or in the fridge. So she asks what is wrong and I ask her why she's asking that and say that nothing is wrong. And she says "Why aren't you saying anything?" I just looked at her. She said "Well we all have our cups out here-aren't you going to say they need to stay in the fridge?" I love having conversations with her!

Kris and I are very excited! Katherine got placed in preschool for the fall! We didn't know what we were going to do, as we both felt like she would do really well to go ahead and start preschool, but we cannot afford KCA. So, we just kind of left it in the Lord's hands and then I found out that Hazelwood offered preschool. But it is all done by a lottery. The child has to take this Dial 3 Screening thing, and then if they do well enough on that, they will be put into the pool/lottery. And if the child is not placed from the lottery, they go on a waiting list, and depending on where they are on the waiting list, they could be placed that semester or the next year. Kind of up to chance really. And so I took Katherine for her screening--she did really well. On most all things they "tested" her on she was scoring at a 5 and 6 year old level. Pretty cool--of course we are so proud. So, anyway, I got the letter the other day that said not that she was on the waiting list but that she had actually been placed for the 2004-2005 school year afternoon preschool!



I saw Spiderman 2 tonight. I really liked it. I thought it was better than the first, which I liked also. I am not sure though if they left it open for yet another Spiderman film or if that was just the end. I guess we'll see. It seems that in July/August there will be a bad season of movies. On an interesting note, in November there is a movie coming out that is based on John Grisham's "Skipping Christmas" which I think looks really good. The book was okay--but the movie will be with Tim Allen and I just think it will be funny.

As you can see the computer won. I guess I'll have to have Kris help me when he gets home. I don't understand. I follow all the instructions, but it just isn't working.

Okay, I am going to keep trying to put pictures on here until it works or I just get really frustrated. Let's see who wins!



.

Jenn Reedy--just wanted to say I am glad you're back and yes we do need to get together sometime soon!!



We have taken the kids swimming twice this summer. They absolutely love it. And the second time we bought some floaties and innertube ring things and that made it a whole lot easier to have all three of them there. Of course I wasn't by myself. Too many little unswimming kids for one person! Katherine did great. She wanted to wear just the floaties and was really trying to swim. Kaleb, being the crazy boy that he is wanted no floaties, no ring, NOTHING. He just wanted to try and swim all by himself but we soon found out that he doesn't keep his head above water very well on his own. But he sure was trying.



As much as they fight, it sure is fun to watch the kids play together. They have these days, or rather moments, where they will just pretend and play and have a blast together. It's so cool. Recently they have been taking their floats/rings around the house pretending to be pirates. The other day Katherine said, "Come on Pirate Kaleb. Let's go Captain." And Kaleb said "Ok." Katherine corrected him letting him know that the proper response was "Aye Aye Captain." So he immediately just said "Aye Aye Captain." Off they went into Kaleb's room where apparently there was treasure and I heard Katherine saying "I love treasure!" It was cute.



Did I mention earlier that Abbey now says a few more words? They are all slurred and aren't extremely coherent but they are words nonetheless. She says grandma, thank you, that, there she is (when we play where's Abbey). Those I have heard her say on a regular basis. Well, I've only heard her say grandma twice but I know she has said it more than that. What is so hard about mama and dada??? And I am positive a few months ago she said her version of Bob the Builder.

Well, sadly, our vacation is finally over. Kris went back to work this morning, and as if to say "Welcome back to reality" the kids decided to wake up at 6am! But after being gone from them for four days, I didn't mind so much. Besides, Kris and I were so tired we actually went to bed AND to sleep at 10pm. That's rare for us.



We had fun. We went to Eureka Springs, AR, which the town itself was fun and interesting. We walked a lot and went to see the Great Passion Play, which to be quite honestly left me sorely disappointed. It's not that the story was bad, because of course, it is a good story. And of course there were parts where they took some poetic license, which in my opinion did not help the performance. But the production itself was just not very good. But we did do the New Holy Land tour which was interesting.



Sunday we began our trip back. The car had some lights on (like the battery and brake) but Kris seemed to think it was no big deal. Being a little uneasy with cars when they start to indicate problems, I was nervous, but I thought, well, Kris feels safe so I'll just trust that. Well, we made it a good distance before the air bag light came on. We were past Rolla when the speedometer quit working. The radio and clock quit a little past that and the air conditioning was losing power. And as we approached a weigh station outside of St. Clair, MO the car started shaking and making loud noises. Well, then we stopped and the car didn't have a chance of moving on it's own again.



We were really fortunate though, first that we made it that far with no problems. Second that we decided to invest in a cell phone last month. Third because we were originally planning to meet Jim and Mary at Six Flags, which was just about 15 minutes or so from St. Clair. So, we called and Jim and Mary said they would come out and get us. They also have this really good AAA which they let us use to have the car towed back to Cindy's house. By the way, it was Cindy's Sonata that we had just been borrowing. Everytime we borrow that car we bring it back with something wrong it seems. So, after a couple of hours, the car began it's tow back to Cindy's, and Jim and Mary drove us to Six Flags where I rode a rollercoaster for the first time in 5 years. It was fun. I look forward to going back. So, all in all it was a fun trip.



I wonder how busy Kris is today. I bet there is a lot for him to do after being gone a week. I know they were concerned over there with him being gone for a week. Funny-they waited for two years for him and were concerned with him being gone for a week. Says a lot though about him and what he has added to their business. I'm so proud of him!

I am kind of relieved that we are not going camping this weekend. The thought of being out in all the rain and water just did not sound fun. But now we are not going. Hopefully we can still all get together sometime on Monday for a cook out of something, or a cook in as the rain will probably continue! Doesn't it rain EVERY Memorial Day?



The kids are playing with pretend makeup. We have those little foam rollers and the kids got into them and took them apart. Now they are taking the foam parts and pretending that it is makeup. And apparently they are playing go fish at the same time. Katherine is saying "Say do I have any nine" And Kaleb says "Do you have any nines?" Katherine says "No, go fish." Keep in mind they are still using the rollers! And now they are asking for 7's and 8's. It's really cute. Katherine just said "You're good at this!" They play so well together at times. They keep prompting each other what to ask and then the other will ask it. I'm probably the only one that really appreciates that!

Ok, I am getting really tired of Kaleb spitting milk everywhere. I thought that we had overcome that annoying habit, and now, not only has it continued, Kaleb has conveniently showed Abbey how to do it. Being 1 1/2, and always looking for attention, she too took up this hobby. Very frustrating.



Kaleb is in his room right now. First the milk spitting. Then he came into the giraffe and got up in the rocking chair. Abbey proceeded to climb up with him and Kaleb in return roughly shoved her out of the chair and onto the floor. It is around 6pm and I don't know when Kris will be home, but Kaleb is there for the duration. He cannot come out until daddy gets home.



I have to say one thing for the heat. I am so glad that it made the wood in the house swell because now the kids can't open the doors on their own, which means that Kaleb being in trouble in his room will last because he can't get out. I'm glad about that.



Well, I am officially done working now. It's kind of nice, the thought of not having to go to work. I don't miss it yet, but I think that I will. But I have such a great husband! He's always been so good about letting me get out and do my own thing if I need a break, and I am so glad that God gave him to me. Not just because of the support with the kids. I'm just feeling very loving towards him right now and I figure why keep it to myself. As long as I am rambling on I may as well ramble about him.



I am kind of looking forward to camping this weekend. It will be our first camping trip this summer (my 4th ever). I was really a lot more excited until I learned it is pretty much going to rain the entire time. Hopefully we won't have any rain coming in the tent this time. Still it should be fun??? I just hope that it is dry enough for the kids to play outside because I don't like the thought of being stuck in a tent for 4 days! At least we are close to home if we decide to call it quits.



Funny story. Katherine is playing with Abbey and she just said, "Ooh Abbey you're so cute." And then without missing a beat, like she is still all loving says "Ooh Abbey you're so poopy." I found it amusing. I don't write down their cute stuff enough. It seems like every time I turn around someone is being adorable but now I can't even remember half of it. I have to get better at that.

It sure has been a while since I've been back on here. I'm not sure why. I don't think I've been busier than usual. Maybe I have. I decided to quit my job, again. After much thought and talking and listening to the Holy Spirit, I have decided to just be home once again with the kids. I think it will be hard, but well worth it. And now my weekends will be free and I'll actually see Kris more than one night a week. And when I say see I mean actually spend good quality time with him, not just saying, hi, bye, see you next week.



Katherine is learning different letters. With help she has written Andy, Mommy, Kat (her nickname, not the animal--I do know how to spell cat), Katherine and Addie. How cute! It's so fun. She loves to learn and loves to show me that she can do it. She has learned A, B, and C, capital and lowercase and learned how to write 1, as well as spell one. So, now if I show her the word one, she can look at the letters and tell me how to spell it. Is anyone else impressed?



Kaleb is funny. At nap time today he was trying to lick me instead of kissing. That's not the funny part. So, I was getting upset with him and telling him that was gross and that if he didn't kiss me right I was just going to go out of his room. So, he hugged me and kissed me. And then he kept saying, a real kiss, a real hug. So I'd have to keep getting down there and hugging and kissing him. And then all of a sudden, with no warning, he said "Get out of here." I thought it was funny. A little mean, but still funny.



I am enjoying learning to play bridge. What a fun game. It's a mix of like every card game, much more involved and much more fun. I still love pinochle--don't get me wrong!!

But there's just something about bridge.

It was a year ago today that Bev died. I'm not even sure how to put my feelings down. To me it seemed to go fast, but I can't imagine what the last year was like for the Chamberlains. It's weird and unreal to think about still. When someone dies you kind of cling to that last memory you had of them while they were still alive. For me that moment is Jeff's senior chapel. I relive that moment in my mind and am filled with unbelief and confusion, wondering if it was real. Sometimes when I think about it and I picture the whole situation in my mind it seems like it was so unreal and like it couldn't have happened. But I know that it did. I don't know. I can't really describe what is in my heart right now. My prayers go out to those that knew Bev so much better than I did because I know that their grief is still very fresh and very real, and their loss is still so great.

I found out yesterday that Mrs. Keethler died. Wow. It's hard to bring all my thoughts together concerning this. What a sweet old lady. She was 95 years old, and had been married for over 70 years of her life. Can you imagine that? 70 years, the majority of your life, spent with someone you loved. My heart is so sad for Mr. Keethler. Talk about two people in love. What a testimony they were to Kris and I, and so many others of what a godly marriage should look like. They were unselfish, freely giving whatever they could for others. Dacia and I were talking about this last night. A couple Christmases ago, Mr. Keethler came up to Kris and I and gave us an envelope. He told us that each year he and Mrs. Keethler decide to give a gift to someone else, and one of them had chosen Kris and I. The other had chosen Dacia and Kyle. It wasn't just a gift for us. It was their gift to each other. In our envelope was $100 dollars. I know that I will never forget that example of love and selflessness. And I know I will never forget that couple that I would see at Dairy Queen, still having dates with one another. Holding hands, sweet as could be. From the time I met them, I told Kris over and over again that they are what I wanted to be. I want that kind of marriage, that kind of love and oneness with him. I know that it only comes from God and that Mr. and Mrs. Keethler lived life in such a way that you couldn't help but see God and feel his love and presence. Mrs. Keethler is with the Lord now, and how joyous that is for her. What will Mr. Keethler do now? How would you go on living a life that you had shared with another person for as long as you can remember? How do you continue to press on...what else is left to live for? May God bring him peace and comfort until the day He chooses to reunite them!

It is slow tonight at work-not a complaint at all!! I like when it is slow, except that at times it can get boring. One can only play so much spider solitaire. Some dummies decided to keep downloading stuff so they have banned any type of online game-which we used to be able to play. Now the choices are minesweeper, regular solitaire, spider solitaire and some cheap version of pinball.



I want to quit my job. Is that bad? I just started again in December. Any advice? Here's the situation. I love my job. I like the people, I like the call center environment, I like the customers...I just plain like it. The downsides: the 20 minute drive back and forth (especially since I work until 11pm), not being home in the evenings two nights when Kris is actually home, being REQUIRED to work one weekend day (and Friday is not considered the weekend), and the time that the job takes away from my own time to myself and time with my family. The benefits, besides liking my job?? There is only one. The money. What a sad benefit. Why have I become so dependent upon this job just for the money? I mean, I like the work, but that is a whole lot easier to give up than the money. We have so much debt, and while Kris' new job is significantly higher pay, we are going to have more expenses. Health insurance is more expensive, we have no life insurance as of 4/10/04 so if anything happens to any of us we are basically screwed--so we need to purchase that, at least for Kris. Gas prices have gotten out of hand so we spend more there, and Kris' commute farther so we use more gas. If I stopped working-the extra gas he uses would be made up for in the fact that I wouldn't be commuting also. I know that working gives me a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, and gives me adult conversation and a break from my real life, so that too would be difficult to give up.



But the benefits would be nice. We would have more time to devote to our family, more time to be involved in ministry, we could go back to counseling (although there would be another expense). Hmm...we could also do some camping this summer. As it is I work every Saturday night and they are all already closed through August, which means that if I wanted off some Saturday night, I can't take off.



How great it would feel to create a budget and then live off of it. Does anyone out there actually do this? We have a kind of budget. We know how much we need for all of our bills and we pay all of our bills and have money for groceries and diapers. I don't really think that is considered a budget.



There are my thoughts. I am kind of down tonight. I have felt incredibly tense the last week and can't figure out the source. Is it just satan, or have I put too much on myself??

I saw Addie yesterday. That was nice. She is finally back from Europe and I am glad. I think I would have gone crazy if I had to go much longer with out my weekly break from reality! She brought me a giraffe from Italy-it's made of mahogany (sp??). It's cool. We made our usual Target run-how fun for us!



I changed my work schedule. I only work 3 nights now, instead of 4 and it is really nice. This week I worked Monday/Tuesday and then will work Saturday. It has been really nice after Tuesday to just sit at home and think, well, I don't have to go back to work until Saturday. I love my job--the commute is getting old though, as is not being home in the evenings when Kris is home. He seems to really like his new job. I think that's great! We'll see as time goes on what kind of pressure it will have with it-hopefully an insignificant amount.



I am really enjoying learning to play Bridge. It's difficult and confusing but the parts I am beginning to understand are a lot of fun! It's cool too that we get to learn from Jim and Mary, because that means we get to be spending time with them.



I am not really concerned about Abbey's hearing, because she listens. She understands when I tell her to do something. She puts her cup on the table, sits down, finds her blanket and plug, hugs/kisses her brother and sister...pretty much anything I tell her to do she does. But she just doesn't really talk. Not even mama or dada. That's what concerns me is that she should at least being saying those words. She needs her 15 month and 18 month shots so when I take her in for that I'll check with the doctor.

I have been really edgy lately. Does anyone have a cure for that. I didn't take my medicine for like 3 days and I know that was a big part of it. How sad! I really wish I could be calm and relaxed and my old self (not the sin "old self"-just my happy, somewhat calm old self) WITHOUT medication. But I am okay with the fact that I may never be able to. It definitely helps me, so I will keep taking it until God leads me in another direction.



I still do not have my iud out. After two different cancellations (both on the part of the doctor's office) Kris and I have decided to spend a little more time praying about the decision. I hate the way I have felt since I have had it in, but I think this new medicine is making a bigger difference than the old, and maybe that will be enough. We'll keep praying. I know I don't want more kids right now (maybe never) and so it sure is easier to just leave the thing in and not have to worry about it. I will wait for God's direction on that as well.



The kids went to VBS this morning at FCC of Florissant. Just the older ones. Abbey and hung out for a couple of hours. It was so cool though. I forgot to tell Kris this, but they had no problems separating and going to their classes and when I went to pick them up the cutest thing happened. I tear up just thinking about it. Children love you and others so easily. I picked Kaleb up first and then we went to find Katherine's room. She saw me and exclaimed "Mommy!" That wasn't the cute part. When she got over to me she saw Kaleb standing right in front of me and went straight to him and hugged him. She didn't say anything to anyone, she just hugged him. It was the cutest thing I think I've seen her do. What else but love could motivate that?



They are going to go all week, so long as I get them up and over there. And at the end of the week they will have a little program for the parents to see what the kids have learned. Did you ever think it adorable when the little tiny kids got up in front of church to sing or say Scripture? There's always a couple kids who are really cute and don't do things just as they are supposed to?? I always thought that was cute and now I'll get to see my kids up there. I wonder if either of them will be the real cute ones that stand out. We'll see. I'm sure they will stand out to Kris and I anyway, whether they do something to distract the attention from the whole group or not. Katherine knows her memory verse from today "Love one another." It's so cool.



Abbey still is not talking. Dacia--should I be concerned? She says uh oh, and she says ok on a pretty regular basis, but everything else is just noise. She doesn't say mama or dada at all. This seems odd to me, as she is 18 months old already. Hmm...

I wrote this last night but could not get it to post, so I am going to try again today.



Here is my kid story for today. I am working tonight and on my fifteen minute break I called Kris. Soon after he told me all the kids were in bed I hear this little voice, up out of bed. I wasn't really surprised because Katherine always has at least one excuse every night after she's gone to bed. Usually it is this: "I just need to ask one question." And usually the question is not anything earth-shattering. So, I hear her come out and she starts telling Kris to tell me that she wants me to come in her room when I get home. And I hear Kris say, "Why don't you tell mommy yourself." So, Katherine, half on the phone/half off (because her voice seemed farther away than usual) starts saying "Mommy, um mommy, um can you, um mommy, can you, um I want daddy to tell you to come into my room when you get home and give me a hug and a kiss." Then she said bye and I love you and back to bed she went! How funny! She gets on the phone, we're thinking to tell me to come in when I get home. BUT NO! She wants to get on the phone and tell me that she wants daddy to TELL me to come in! We had a great laugh over that, Kris and I did!

Well, I don't have the greatest story to tell about how great the kids were. Actually the story is about their bad behavior, but it sure is a cute story--at least I think so. I was at the computer, and Katherine had gone into the bathroom. I told her to get out of there-she informed me she needed to go potty. So, I told her to go and then shut the door. She came into the kitchen and I asked her if the door was shut so the others wouldn't go in there, and she went to look. So, I thought that was the end of the matter.



Well, after about 15 minutes of complete silence, I began to wonder what was going on. I knew it could not be something good that mommy would approve of. So, I start to get anxious because I think the kids might be in the bathroom. Sure enough, that is exactly where I found them. It is more than that though. Here is the picture-are you ready?



I go into the hallway and look into the bathroom. The water is running in the sink. Abbey is sitting on the floor, Katherine standing by the sink, and Kaleb on his knees UP ON THE SINK! Now, normally I would have been really frustrated and started yelling at them and getting them out of there. BUT...do you know what they were all 3 doing?? Ready? They all had a toothbrush in hand and were busy brushing their teeth! What mother could argue with that? It was kind of cute. It definitely helped me not to get so angry! I don't know who turned the water on--I can only guess it was Kaleb, as he was the one actually ON the sink!



Abbey is being quite busy right now. She's getting into things and just plain busy! She gets like that, especially when she is tired. I will put her down for bed soon. Katherine and Kaleb have been on the couch in the living room for about half an hour, watching Oliver and Company. After Kris got home I went to the library, picked up some videos, got some food for a pizza party with the kids and we had a nice dinner and now they get to watch their movie. It is nice and somewhat quiet here, aside from busy little Abbey, who is just playing and jabbering, so I don't mind it!



So, that is how I am wrapping up my evening and it is definitely better than I thought it would be. My attitude is even better, which I am sure is making the biggest difference! It's off to play canasta and RELAX!!!

Oh that nap time really were that-NAP TIME!! Abbey was sleeping until the non-sleeping children got too loud and woke her up. Kaleb decided that apparently he didn't need a nap today and so he began to fight with Katherine. I got them separated and lying down, and then they both got up and now Abbey is awake. Not the best nap time we've had!



And I think they are purposely bad on the days when they know I will not get a break at all from being mommy. Kris is going out tonight with some friends, and so I get the kids ALL day. I know most women think, yeah, so what? Well, when you're not used to constantly having them with no break all the time, it's difficult to imagine a night with no husband around to relieve you!! I like that he is hanging out with the guys, but I hate that it leaves me home alone. And I swear, EVERY time he is not going to be my relief in the evening, the kids are so much worse. I don't think I'm making it up!!



Can you tell I am frustrated and tense? Oh well--bedtime is about 6 hours away, just 6 hours. Surely I can hold out that long! Dacia you know what I'm talking about--those days when you just can't wait until bedtime!! Today is one of those days.



Hmm...what is there that is good that I can share, since this has taken a very negative turn?? I'll have to think about it and come back to it later...maybe I'll think of something after they are all nicely sleeping in their beds for the night!

Jenn--Thanks for responding! I logged on today and found that yes, it did indeed work! I was happy! The small things amuse (and frustrate) me.



Katherine helped me cook today--she loves to help! She is so funny. She asks what everything is and then wants to help me pour in every ingredient. And she is so amused and excited that there are dandelions and violets out in the front yard. She didn't hear it from me or Kris, but everytime she goes outside now and sees the flowers she says "Mommy look at the flowers. That means it's almost springtime." Who taught her that? Who told her that flowers bloom in the spring? Kris and I cannot figure it out, but personally, I think she's super intelligent! :)



Kris has only 2 days left at Met. They are having a going away party for him tomorrow. And some guy wrote Kris a really nice card and then gave his a $25 gift card to Applebees. I know where he's taking me to dinner tomorrow night! Ha ha. Seriously--he's taking me there!



Work is kind of crazy tonight. It goes back and forth between busy and slow. And for some reason I keep getting stuck in the split to take claims rather than help people on old claims. Every now and then I don't mind, but we have 11 people in customer service and everytime it gets busy in IAT (where new claims are taken) I am always one of the first to get stuck in IAT. I don't understand this. I was of the understanding that all of us customer service reps would cycle through and help out IAT but it seems like I am ALWAYS put there. And I know some people aren't because there are always like 4 in customer service, and I am usually not one of them when it is busy! Oh well...I shouldn't be complaining about it. I really don't mind taking claims--I rather enjoy it for the most part. Isn't that crazy? I get so frsutrated for being put in this split to take claims, even though I don't mind taking the claims. I think it is the principle of the whole thing! Okay, I'm done with that--thanks for letting me vent! Maybe I will change my attitude now. We'll see.

I'm getting REALLY frustrated. I am trying to add my friend Beth as a link on here and when I add her, she is only showing up as a link in my archived blogs. Does anyone know why that is happening? When I go into the template to look at it, the coding is there and when I preview the template her name is there--but when I actually go to the page, she is not appearing! AHHH!! Jenn Reedy: help!!!



Well, work is about over for me and I need to get ready to leave! I'm sleepy tonight. I have to bake a cake tomorrow. They are having a going away party for Kris at work on Thursday and I am making Milky Way cake-yummy!

It has been a little while since I've been on here. Things have been really busy. This week, though, it seems that they are slowing down for a little bit. I went to Chicago this weekend with Beth Cox. It was fun. We just drove out, got a hotel and went from there--no plans, no expectations. It was fun. Although, in case anyone wonders, Navy Pier does not open up until 10am. We did not know this, however. So, we got downtown and parked at Navy Pier at 8am. So, now, what are we going to do for two hours?? Well, Beth decides we should just walk around. I was skeptical--it was cold!! The wind, of course, was strong and it was just downright cold! But we began walking. After we got past Navy Pier, the wind died down a bit and the sun began to shine. It was still cold, but at least it was bearable. At some point our fingers and toes began to "dethaw." Is that even a word? Well, we found a starbucks after about a half hour of walking, and to our surprise and happiness, it was OPEN!!! We went in and had some hot chocolate, and then sat in there for a little bit. Then we braved the cold again, and found a McDonald's and a Dunkin Donuts as we were walking along, both of which were also open. Pretty much NOTHING else was!



I fed a homeless man Sunday morning. He reminded me of some of the guys that Crossroads works with. He was wrapped up in a blanket and standing outside of McDonald's. I wanted some orange juice, so I just bought a meal, kept the OJ for myself and handed him the bag. All I could think of was that Scripture that talks about whatever we do to the least of these, we have done unto Christ. It felt good to be obedient. I think I would have felt awful if I hadn't given him the food. There was another guy, though trying to give us coupons for money--I did not give him money. There is no harm in giving someone food. And if he really wanted to eat, he would have just used his coupons for food, not try to get money for them. I did not feel bad for taking this course of action, however.



I go back to work tonight. I've been off for a while, it seems. The last time I worked was last Wednesday. I'm glad to be going back. I still like my job. I got employee of the month, which was rather exciting, except that someone keeps parking in my parking spot. Whenever I go in to work to park there, there is this same Nissan Pathfinder there. I want to know who that is. Was there some mistake--did they think that THEY were employee of the month? Really, though I don't care--I do find it amusing and wonder if I will ever get to park there. Kris pointed out though that it really is a terrible parking spot--it is kind of narrow and right next to a wall. Maybe I should be thankful the Nissan Pathfinder is parking there!

God just continues to bless and provide for us. The water problem in the basement turned out NOT to be a crack in the foundation, as we were fearing. Instead, somehow the sump pump had gotten turned off, causing the water to back up into the house. While we still have to make some repairs, it will be a LOT less expensive than repairing cracks! Praise the Lord!



I'm excited. I put a deposit down for our 5 year anniversary in June. I found a great little place on a river, that has suites with hot tubs and canoeing right there on site. I think it will be fun. We are going to be hanging out with Cindy and Dean somewhere the first part of the week, but then Kris and I will have 4 days to travel/hang out/relax on our own without the kids. I'm excited. We are going to a place near Eureka Springs, AR. Someone at work told me about Eureka Springs and suggested I check it out--so I did. I think there is going to be a Blues Festival going on that weekend too, which Kris will love! They have a passion play--I have tickets for it already, but I may change my mind and try to do something else. There is also a magic show I want to see, and since I have seen "The Passion of the Christ" I am thinking that the passion play won't compare and that I will be too critical of it! We'll see. I'll talk to Kris about it and see what he wants to do.



Abbey said the word "more" today. I asked her if she wanted more juice and told her to say "more" and she did. It was adorable!! So now the words that I know I have heard her say for sure are "more" and "uh oh." She will push things down or drop them, and then say "uh oh." I think she throws things down on purpose so she can say it. It's cute!

Owning a home can be frustrating. What I thought was just a minor water problem in the basement is a lot larger than I thought. It is extremely wet down there; I had to put shoes on just to do laundry. So, as I go down there to do laundry, I find that the water has come under the walls, into the laundry room and has absorbed into the clothes that are down there. Because I thought this was a minor problem, for all I know these clothes have been wet since Sunday, at the latest. Well, I thought "I guess I'm motivated to finish the laundry." That would have been a good idea, except that when I went to put the clothes in the dryer, the dryer won't work. So I still have a bunch of wet, smelly clothes down there, just sitting because I can't do anything with them. But I guess it doesn't really matter because I'm out of detergent now also. It's been a very frustrating day. Hopefully work will be relaxing for me, and not stressful!!

Does anyone ever wonder why God made our bodies to get rid of the bad stuff by vomiting?? Why would that be the best way? Surely there could have been some other way! But who am I to argue with God? I just think it is strange. Katherine was sick last night. Kids are so funny too, the way the think through things. She said her belly hurt because the spaghetti was trying to get out of her throat. That's how her little mind understands vomiting.



Has anyone heard the song by Evanescence "Tourniquet"? That's one of those songs that could either be Christian or not. It's hard to tell. Look at these words--up until the last line, I think these are "Christian" lyrics.



I tried to kill the pain, But only brought more. (So much more)

I'm dying,And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying, Praying, Bleeding, Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved ? Am I too lost ?

My God! My Tourniquet, Return to me salvation.

My God! My Tourniquet, Return to me salvation.

Do you remember me ? Lost for so long. Will you be on the other side ?

Will you forgive me ? I'm dying, Praying, Bleeding, Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved ? Am I too lost ?

My God! My Tourniquet, Return to me salvation.

My God! My Tourniquet, Return to me salvation.

(Return to me salvation)

(I want to die!)

My God! My Tourniquet, Return to me salvation.

My God! My Tourniquet, Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave. My soul cries, for deliverance.

Will I be denied ? Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide.



Why would she be singing that Christ is her suicide?? What can that mean?

I am enjoying a nice game of canasta as I wind down from being at work. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't lost! I got off work at 11:15pm and it was still so beautiful outside. I think it was holding steady in the upper 60's. I love when the weather gets warmer. We can actually open the windows at night and sleep with the fresh air coming in. I love it! It always makes me thankful to God that such things can exist. That's one of those small, simple things for me that is a reminder that God exists and that He is good.



On a sad note, my friend Addie is leaving next weekend for a trip to Europe. I am thrilled for her, but sad that we won't have our weekly ritual of sitting around in our underwear playing playstation--oh wait--that's guys that do that, isn't it?? Don't panic, anyone--we do NOT do that! Our hanging out consists of either going to Target or some other store that our husbands want us to stop shopping at so frequently. I am sure I will survive a couple of weeks without her, but I will really miss her. She had better bring me something back! Ha ha--just kidding Addie if you're reading this! :)



On a happier note, I am leaving next weekend too. Not to go to Europe which would be awesome, but to go to Springfield, IL. What's in Springfield IL?? My friend Beth Cox is there. I get to spend the whole weekend out there with her. I am looking forward to seeing her again. We should have a lot of fun, and NO KIDS!!! Kris will spend the weekend taking care of the kids. I only feel slightly bad because he is also preaching that weekend. But I know he will do just fine. When it comes down to it, we all do what we have to do, don't we? I'm sure I will miss the kids, but probably not enough to regret taking a trip without them.

It's a beautiful day outside. Katherine and Kaleb are playing Candyland together in the sunroom. Abbey is in there too, but I am not sure what she is doing--getting in to things she is not supposed to I imagine. She is starting to talk more, which is always fun. I don't know what words she's attempting to say, but it is cute to hear it anyway. She says "momma" sometimes, but never in reference to me. Oh well-I know she'll get there someday.

I went grocery shopping today. I know you're all excited! But that's a good thing for me. It's been a long time since I actually went to the grocery store with a menu planned out and bought only the things I would need for those meals. I spent more than I wanted to, but some things I bought in bulk and that will make groceries for the next few weeks cheaper. Anyway, for the first time in a LONG time the fridge is full and I think I am ready to start cooking again. I've been kind of apathetic towards cooking (and most other things) recently, so it feels good to have some real food and a goal in mind. I'm sure Kris will be thrilled that he will actually get a home cooked meal again.



It's only 10:30pm but I'm rather tired for this time of night. Abbey was up a lot last night--she has a new tooth coming in and so that was bothering her. We didn't figure it out until about 2 hours after we'd been getting up and down with her. But once I put that baby orajel in her mouth she went to sleep and slept until almost 9:30am. If only the actual solution was my first thought!!!



We all went to lunch with Ken (Kris' dad) today. He came in for Brandon's doctor appt. and we went to lunch beforehand. It was good to see him and chat with him. Brandon is preparing to go through chemotherapy in a couple of weeks, so I know that will be stressful time for Cindy and all involved. Extra prayers would be much appreciated! I think it will be hard for Brandon, but he's strong and I know God can bring him through it safely. He will be in the hospital for 5 days, then go back for 2 consecutive weeks for a shot, and then he will spend another 5 days in the hospital for the treatment.



I read something interesting today in 1 Tim. 4:7 & 8 "Spend your time and energy in training yourself for spiritual fitness. Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in this life and the next." I just thought that was cool, especially the part about the reward being both in this life and the next. Physical exercise is good, but only benefits us in this life. Spiritual exercise is even better and the rewards will carry on into physical death and the eternal life that follows.



Something else I read this morning struck me. In 1 Tim. 1:12&13 Paul writes "How thankful I am to Christ Jesus our Lord for considering me trustworthy and appointing me to serve him, even though I used to scoff at the name of Christ." That's me...I spent a lot of time (and at times still fall into this trap) focusing on things other than Christ, and making them such a priority that in a way I was (am) scoffing Christ. And despite that, God has still called me to serve Him, and considers me trustworthy, when my actions have been anything but that. God really is an awesome God!!

I could have sworn I put a post in on Tuesday. It seems to be missing. Very mysterious. Oh well...I don't remember anything really fascinating happening on Tuesday.



I spent the night out last night with Addie. We went to Harrah's and stayed at the hotel there. We had dinner at the buffet there--which was pretty good, although I was really hoping to have some of their wonderful carrot cake for dessert. But, to my sadness, no carrot cake. All in all the food was pretty good.



I learned firsthand this morning why I do not go gambling very often. Well, it's not like I always have the money to, but that's another story. I was on my last $0.50 and decided to risk it all--that's right, all $0.50! And you know what???? I WON $100!!!! Did I cash out? Yes. Did I walk towards the hotel? Yes. Did I give in and plan to just go back and spend $20 of it? Yes. But then, did I go crazy and lose it all??? YES!!!!! How frustrating! It was so awesome to win $100 off of $0.50! And then the casino did it's job and sucked me in! Oh well...I really did have a lot of fun. I do wish I had come away with all that money, though!



I am assuming it is okay to publish this info, as Kris has already told several people. Yesterday, Kris put in his two weeks notice at Metlife, after working there for nearly 8 years. Yesterday, he was offered a position with XSBid, which is a company that has been wanting to hire him for almost 2 years. Things finally came into place, financially (for them and for us) and so Kris has accepted the position with XSBid. He will tentatively start on April 12, as his last day at Met is scheduled to be April 9. How exciting. He is really looking forward to having a normal 7-3, 8-4, 9-5 (whichever it might be) schedule. And I am looking forward to that too. As a matter of prayer, we recognize that God has chosen to bless us even more financially, and that He believes we are ready to be disciplined and honor what he has given us. Please pray that we will be faithful to Him, by first of all paying off all credit card debt, and second of all by putting $1000 in savings. We have other goals, but these are the two immediate goals, that will require much prayer and also much discipline. Anyway, Kris is at a meeting right now to announce to the supervisors that he has officially quit. I'm so proud of him, for all that God has accomplished through him--he is an amazing guy, with a brilliant mind. God has gifted him greatly and I know that God will continue to use Kris and the gifts he has given him to reach out and further His kingdom.



The kids are still trying to get over their colds. I was gone for one night and I came back to the kids being lethargic and whiny. Come to find out Kris had given them way more cold medicine than their little bodies needed. So this time they really were drugged! No wonder he didn't have any problems while I was gone!!! Apparently he didn't read the bottle of medicine, nor bother to measure the right amounts. So everyone got about 1 1/2 times the amount they were supposed to. Kind of funny! So, that's the worst that happened while the kids were left solely in Kris' care (good thing we don't use brandy to treat them). He always does really well with them and I never have cause to worry--but maybe next time I should write out really big how much each kid is supposed to have! They are all sleeping it off, so hopefully they will be better when they wake up. Thought you guys would enjoy that little piece of info.

I got absolutely nothing done today that I wanted to get done. I WANTED to finish Noah's quilt. I WANTED to straighten up the house (not clean because hooray--it is mostly clean!). I WANTED to dry my hair and put make up on (since when do I want to do this????). I WANTED to get groceries. Oh well--I am not grumbling--just looking back wishing I had done SOMETHING! I'll get over it. I did have a nice lunch with Kaleb today. We went to Chili's and then we went to Once Upon a Child and I let him spend $3.50 for a toy that I will eventually sell back to them for about $.70. Oh well--he enjoyed it! And I am enjoying my left over Southwestern Eggrolls for dinner. Yummy!!



On a sad note--my husband might be leaving me next week--just for a day or two. He may be taking a business trip. And I don't get to go. Well, technically I guess I COULD, IF I had a sitter for the kids and paid my own way--don't think that will be happening, although it would be cool because I've never been to Connecticut before! We'll see what happens.

Well, I am really tired so this (hopefully for your sakes) won't be long. I have had a somewhat frustrating day, but it is turning out alright, I suppose. I am working on a quilt for my nephew Noah, and it was not going so well earlier. I spent about an hour and a half fixing a 3 minute mistake I had made and it just really got me down. But I have such a wonderful husband. In the midst of the frustration, when I was about to cry, Kris just came over and sat down beside me. Then he prayed with me and continued to sit by my side. He didn't try to solve the problem, he just sat with me. At one point, he even offered to take over what I was working on, so that I did not get too frustrated or discouraged. What a sweet guy. He sat with me for probably about 20 minutes, just watching me and being there for me. God has really blessed me by giving Kris to me. So, I am just going to tell you all that I love him very much (Kris--God too though) and say goodnight. By the way--I am almost done with the quilt now. I am not sure how it will turn out but it is almost done!

The leadership retreat was great. It was good to fellowship with other brothers and sisters and just talk about where the Lord is leading us. Not to mention it was a night to sleep without someone coming into my room 3 times during the night wanting me to turn their music back on! But let's be realistic--I don't go and turn the music back on--I make Kris do it! But it is still ME that the kids decide to wake up first! I really do love my kids but it was nice to be able to wake up this morning and worry only about myself, instead of trying to scrounge up some cereal for the kids.



I had my first experience with the "stations of the Cross" today. We had our retreat at Our Lady of the Snows and they had the stations set up outside. It was interesting to say the least. It was a good reminder of what Christ did, although I have to admit that it was difficult to see such serene and peaceful images of Christ on his way to the Cross and up on the Cross. Having seen "The Passion of the Christ" and the graphic images portrayed, it was hard to see the seriousness of what Christ did through viewing the stations of the Cross. Does that sound bad...it is not what I intended. Basically the Passion struck me in a more real and personal way than the stations of the Cross. But it was good for me to be reminded again of what Christ did for me. It is not something that comes to my mind and is on my heart as often as I want it to be.



I'm a little sad. I had to come straight to work tonight so I haven't seen the kids since yesterday afternoon. All you mothers out there understand! It's always so fun to come home and see the kids for the first time after being gone. You know, you ask "Did you miss mommy" and they say "No." Ha ha--that's not always the case. Now, I won't even see them until tomorrow morning because they will already be in bed when I get home. I'll peek in and look at them while they are sleeping--that is always nice too!!

Why is it that in the midst of trying to read my Bible and spend time with the Lord the children seem like little tools that the devil is using to distract me?? One minute I am reading, the next I am yelling and filled with rage. Then I come back, and I apologize to the kids and begin again. They are actually misbehaving and being disobedient but the degree of my anger, especially as I am reading God's word, is bizarre. How can you feel such drastic things within seconds of each other?? I can think of no other reason, except that Satan doesn't like this new person that I am trying to become. So he uses the most precious ones in my life to throw me off course. Well, I am determined not to let him. May God grant me the strength to continue seeking him and the wisdom to see and prepare for Satan's attacks.



I was able to get something out of what I was reading. I was thinking about reading Jeremiah, but I wanted to read something I hadn't read for a long time--so I chose Lamentations. What a sad book. It paints a vivid picture of how angry God was about the sins of his people. The first thing that struck me was in chapter 1:14. "He wove my sins into ropes to hitch me to a yoke of captivity. The Lord sapped my strength and gave me to my enemies. I am helpless in their hands." A couple of things came to mind here. First of all just that picture of captivity. That is what sin leads us to. God has really been using this picture of slavery and captivity lately to show me the severity of my sins. What a realistic picture of what happens when we continue in sin. And who can ever free themselves from slavery?? No one...people can break out of prison at times, but they are not truly free. The are on the run, constantly afraid of being caught. I think this would be worse--being on the run. At least by being in slavery there is hope of rescue, hope of freedom. The next thing that struck me about this passage was the last part of verse 14, when he writes "I am helpless in their hands." I think that sometimes is EXACTLY where God wants us to be. We will never rely on him or realize our need for him until everything is stripped away, we are in chains, and we see firsthand that there is nothing left that WE can do. At that realization, God can intervene. He can make himself known and show us that while we are helpless, He has power to do amazing things! He will rescues and free us. He will break the yoke of sin that we have been burdened down with and give us freedom!



As a mother, two verses just shocked and appalled me. It was hard to bear the implications of these verses, and I pray that God never again destroys his people as he did the Israelites because of their sin and idolatry.

Lam. 2:20 "O Lord, think about this!" Jerusalem cries. "You are doing this to your own people! Should mothers eat their little children, those they once bounced on their knees?" and

Lam. 4:10 "Tenderhearted women have cooked their own children and eaten them in order to survive the siege."

How terrible!! In 4:10 it portrays the women as tenderhearted, women who would never even think about doing such a horrible thing. This shows such an extreme desperation and hopelessness! That's just awful.



One last note on this book. There was still hope. There was still that glimmer that maybe, just maybe God would still come through for his people. Lam. 3:20-26 "I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still DARE to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day...The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. And it is good for the young to submit to the yoke of his discipline."



Kaleb is making my day. Katherine was really distracting me while I was reading my Bible and I was trying to explain to a 3 year old the need to read the Bible and grow closer to God. Well, Kaleb just went into Katherine's room and found a Bible. He brought it in here to show me that he had a Bible "just like mine." It was cute. And then, as I am sitting here typing I hear him chattering behind me. He is sitting over on the couch, in the same position I was, flipping through the pages of the Bible, telling me he is reading his Bible, just like me!