Stepping out of my comfort zone

If you are familiar with this blog, it may seem to you that I don't have any problems stepping out of my comfort zone.  What you may not know, because I seem so "open", is that sharing my story with you is totally outside of my "comfort zone".

It isn't easy or fun for me to admit The Ugly Truth.  

I keep thinking about writing part 2 and I find that it's not time yet.  I keep waiting for God to lead me to write the next part, but the truth is He hasn't yet.  And I don't want to write it without His leading.  But I can guarantee you that when He does lead me to share the next part of my story with you, it will be completely outside of my comfort zone, even more so than He's already taken me.  Because the second half of the story gets a lot uglier, before redemption comes.  I've done a lot of stupid stuff in my life and sadly, part 1 was only the beginning of my downward spiral.  It isn't comfortable to admit that.

Nothing about being open and honest and vulnerable is comfortable.  But I'm learning it's not about me and my comfort level.  It's about what God is doing in my life and asking me to share, so that HE can work in other people's lives.  

Another thing that is completely outside of my comfort zone is talking about pornography.  It is a topic that has deeply impacted my life and it isn't easy to admit the role it had in my marriage.  HOWEVER, if no one talks about it, it stays hidden.  And that empowers the enemy.  So, when I wrote about 50 Shades of Grey, it was not comfortable, as I wound up discussing the topic of pornography.  

The majority of people just don't realize where it CAN lead.  It oftentimes goes beyond simply looking at images or movies or reading stories.  What serial killer have you heard of that hasn't been involved in pornography?  I'm sure they haven't all had that in their past, but a lot of them have.  I know that implying pornography leads to becoming a serial killer is an extreme declaration, but it is what CAN happen when someone becomes so desensitized to sex and what is natural.  

At some point, just looking at another woman or man isn't enough.  For some, it can lead to extramarital affairs.  For others, women or men aren't enough and they begin looking at the same sex, or worse, children.  Sometimes even those in their own family.  This stuff is real!  Thank God that He ripped pornography out of our life and marriage before it got worse than it did.  Because I truly believe that pornography has serious and long-lasting consequences.  People rape and murder and a lot of the time, we find that pornography played a role in their childhood, early adolescence and teen years.  Because at some point, simply VIEWING it wasn't enough.  

Lust is thirst.  Thirst for something more.  Something "better".  Something tangible.  It never leads to anything good, unless we're talking about within the confines of marriage.  It's OK to "want" your spouse and desire to be with them.  God designed us that way.  But anything outside of our marriages, where lust is concerned, is WRONG.  Debate me all day long, I will not change my view of that.  Because I have experienced firsthand how it can desensitize you.  And how it can impact your marriage and life.  Experience speaks far louder than just opinions.

So, there it is.  Those are "topics" that are outside of my comfort zone.  It may seem like it has been easy for me to share these things, but I assure you, I am not just comfortable being an "open book".  On the other hand, I think it is extremely important for me to share my story, and so I do, as God leads me.  And I know that I am not alone.  YOU may need to know that you are not alone. If we confront these issues head on and FIGHT for our marriages, we can save ourselves a lot of hardship.  We can defeat the enemy. We can steal his power!!  

I don't know about you, but I like the idea of stealing from the enemy.  He isn't going to control my life any longer!  There is a very real spiritual battle going on all around us, and we have to take a stand.  We have to lift up our Sword and FIGHT back!!  

2 Corinthians 10:3-5:  "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine powers to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ."