Honing and Sharpening

Tony preached this morning and talked about us sharpening one another when we become dull or ineffective.

This got me thinking about the important process of honing, say a knife, vs. sharpening it.  Most people think you need to sharpen your knives regularly. And this is true, but it is only necessary every few year.  The more you use a knife, the more unaligned the blade gets.  Honing is a process that puts the blade back into alignment and gives you the effectiveness you need in a knife.

But if you hone your knives using a honing tool of some sort before you use your knife, or shortly after use, it will remain sharp; and you will only need to sharpen your knives (usually professionally and not cheap) every 2-3 years.

So where am I going with this?

Well, let's think about it, in terms of friendship or marriage.

Take a friend, for instance.  Tony mentioned how a couple of people had come to him recently, humbly and with concerns about certain things that either offended him or made him consider if his actions were uplifting to those around him. He listened and took to heart what was said. These comments were used, because he was receptive, to hone him.  Imagine if he preached for 2 years with no honing. With no one coming to him, to express concerns that he may be less effective than he was 2 years prior.  If just one year has passed with no feedback or Godly advice/suggestions, it is possible that Tony may not be properly aligned, as all knives should be in order to stay sharp and effective.  Because be hasn't been honed properly.

Let me put this in more personal terms. My marriage, for instance.

Kris and I did not spend the last 13 years honing one another. And we didn't have Godly people surrounding us, who saw our struggles and tried to help us by honing us; by interceding and giving us Godly advice.

So when we became dull (emotionally, physically, mentally, & spiritually), because we weren't being honed on a regular basis, we got to the point that we needed desperately to be sharpened.  A knife that is not properly cared for (i.e. honed regularly) will become misaligned and if too much time has gone by, it is impossible to do anything but sharpen it.  At some point, if you don't take proper care of your knife, it is impossible to hone a knife and see any results.  The only thing to be done is to go straight to sharpening it.

Remember when I said that when you do have to sharpen your knives, it should be done professionally, and would be costly?

Because we became dull to the point of needing to be sharpened, we needed professional help and it is costly. Both financially and emotionally.  It is a much more difficult process to sharpen a knife (or marriage) than to hone them.  Instead of just being slightly unaligned, we were completely off track and so dull we couldn't even recognize each other anymore.

We let too much time go by without honing our marriage.  So honing, at that point, was no longer an effective choice for us.  Sharpening was all we could do; and ultimately, a knife that is not properly cared for, will not last as long as one that has been well cared for.  Marriage is no different.  The good news is that if you do find yourself with a knife that is not aligned, or a marriage that is unaligned, it can STILL be saved.  It can still be sharpened.  It is just a much longer, difficult journey.  But I can guarantee you that had we learned how to hone our marriage before it got so out of control, the sharpening would have been easier.

So it just got me thinking that in our friendships, and especially our marriages, we need to act as honing tools, on a very regular basis. Perhaps each time we meet, we need to work on honing one another. 

I can see now that if Kris and I had been given the tools to hone one another, and then used them properly, we wouldn't need to be sharpened as often; and when we do need to be sharpened now, because we are properly caring for our tools and one another, it won't be as expensive and it may not require professional intervention (i.e. counseling).  Though I still believe that all married couples should be in counseling on a regular basis.

I just thought it was all very applicable and reminded me that we don't just need to be sharpened every few years after we have become so dull that honing can't help; but rather, we need to be honed on a regular basis by those that we love and trust. And we need to return that to others as well.

So thank you Tony, for the great message this morning.  At least...the part I heard before I started writing some of these thoughts down!  Sorry about that part!  It wasn't because you were "dull".