A friend reminded me of that verse tonight when I told her I felt like I might wind up sharing a BIG part of my story with you tonight. I originally planned to give a brief update on my ongoing physical problems and the results of my pain management appointment from today.
And then, I heard it.
A song came on.
A song I haven't heard in, I kid you not, SEVEN years came on JOY FM tonight, and ended right around the time Kris and I got home from a date (which was wonderful by the way!).
I had always liked this song, and when I heard it, I was in a better place spiritually and with my marriage. I would listen to the song and think "Wow. More people need to understand the truth in this song."
Little did I know that seven years ago I would altar the course of my life and start my journey away from God. Little by little, I slipped away. I'm going to post the video and the lyrics here, and then I'm going to write my thoughts about it. PLEASE take the time to watch the video and read the lyrics. I don't really care if you read my words or not (OK, maybe a tiny part of me cares). But please take the time to watch this and really HEAR what God has to say to you through this song.
The more I think about this song and what it implies, the more I feel like God is urging me to write something I didn't want to write just yet. I feel like I'm not ready. But it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not, if God is the one doing the leading...right? That is why I referenced James 4:17. I memorized it as "He who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it sins." It doesn't matter what version you use. The meaning is the same. So, if I still feel that urging once I post the song and the lyrics, well...come what may.
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her Prince Charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
---
There is so much that I love about this song. And the video was very moving. Did anyone else tear up at the end? Did anyone relate to the song at all? Either from the standpoint of the girl running, or perhaps from being one of those lofty people that can't see past someone's scarlet letter? I want to hear your answers - even if it is anonymously. You can reply to these questions without leaving your name and no one, not even me, will know who you are.
I have written more, that I do think God wants me to share, but I feel like I should break this up into parts. Partly because it is a long story and partly because I'm about to fall asleep. I will continue where I left off, tomorrow. But I will leave you with this, in regards to the song above:
Seven years ago, I think I was one of those lofty people. On one issue in particular.
Adultery.
On February 11th, 2012, no longer was I lofty. I was the girl running. This song speaks directly to where I was at just four months ago.
...Continued here:
The Ugly Truth - Part 1
I love that God is calling you to share your story! I am looking forward to reading more! You are very brave and God WILL use your words, your heart to reach out to others and your willingness to follow His leading! I am proud of you! BR
ReplyDeleteThanks! I appreciate your words of encouragement. Thanks for reading along with me on this journey.
DeleteWow. I did tear up. I don't think I ever really listened to those words. I think so many do not consider emotional infidelity as part of adultery but the fact is both ways you are giving yourself to another person instead of your significant other and instead of God. I do not wear my scarlet letter proudly, but I DO wear the blood of Christ that covers it with joy. I think it is awesome that you are bringing things to light. So often the church, the people in it, want to keep shameful things in the dark, but that is when Satan can use it. By bringing it into the light, others that are going through the same thing can reach out and get the love, support, and accountability that they need and that God wants within the church. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI think it was pretty cool that God played it for us again in the van today! I love your comment "I do not wear my scarlet letter proudly, but I DO wear the blood of Christ that covers it with joy." I'm sure I will quote you and link to your post soon. When I get to that point in my story.
DeleteI was that girl myself. We all are at some point, and we fall hard and then we feel the desperate cry of others. Your brave to share your story. But honestly, we have no other choice. We can obey, in humility, or look away w/shame. Then Satan has a foothold. When we expose sin, we are free to enjoy Gods mercy.
ReplyDeleteWere all guilty at adultery when we turn to our idols. We forget that when we look at others. When to turn to anything other than God for fulfilling us, money, food, addiction, we are in adultery against God.
To him who is without sin, cast the first stone.
All the stones of judgement will be dropping in the presence of Jesus, because he knows everyone's secret sin.
I'll admit that there are a handful of family members I am concerned with, sharing this like I did...but I really feel God calling me to do this and so I have to just listen and trust Him with the details.
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