...for they are the only ones following God's word. Where's that sarcasm font at? RELAX. I'm kidding!
I really stirred up some strong feelings on Facebook yesterday. Actually, I riled up ONE person, who in turn riled up me and about 20 of my friends!
I am not going into all of the details about where my marriage is at, or the significant pay cut we may be taking soon, or the fact the tuition we agreed to pay for next fall ended up being $300+ higher than we expected, or the very difficult weekend that I experienced.
The bottom line is that Kris and I, after many different conversations and seeking advice of people we respect (people have had raised their kids and are respected in the church), and looking at our finances and what we need to do to survive, made the decision to remove our kids from the private Christian school they were attending. We are hoping that it is only temporary and that God provides the means farther down the line to put them back in private school.
I do not have issues with home schooling. I do not have issues with the public school system. Do I want my kids taught that evolution is right? NO. They've already been taught that God created the world and we will continue to teach them the truth. Am I concerned about the sex "education" that will be taught? YES. Am I an idiot? I don't think so.
Here's the question...the debate:
Is it right for another Christian to tell a fellow sister in Christ that a decision she has made is NOT God's will for her life? Is it OK for someone who has very strong feelings about home schooling to conclude that what God has told me is based on my feelings, and not actually from God? The issue isn't home schooling vs. public school vs. private school. The issue is that I said that Kris and I were led by God to remove our children from private school and enroll them in the public school system next year.
There are benefits and drawbacks to social networking, like Facebook. I had two statuses early yesterday, as this decision was weighing heavily on my mind; very simple...just basic throwing out of info and asking for prayers.
The first one was this:
The Bishops have some tough decisions to make regarding school next year. Prayers appreciated.
The next one was this:
Thanks for all the prayers. God has been showing us in many different ways that it is time to move the kids back to public school...at least for the 2011-2012 school year. It was not an easy decision but we have peace about it.
Would those comments alone offend you or raise questions of conscience in your head?
What I thought was harmless appreciation to my friends/family for their encouragement and wisdom on the decision we had to make caused quite a stir. There were 35 comments on that second post. The first one, and the one that bothered me (and apparently all my friends!) was this:
So God is telling you to send your kids into an Atheistic, Humanist, Godless educational system for 8 hours a day?? Hmmm not seeing how you can honestly believe that or have any peace about it. You can choose to send you kids to public school, but please do not say God told you to do it because scripture is pretty clear on who is supposed to train up our children.
So...my response was this:
Nice. This isn't a debate. I don't think God tells you to raise your family the same way he tells me to raise mine. Sending my kids to public school is not against the Bible...we are and will continue to train them. You have no right to impose your very legalistic views onto me and how I choose to raise my family. I understand you have very strong feelings about the public school system but it is the parents' responsibility to train the children, not the school...the Bible doesn't say that the training has to be done at home 24/7.
And then all hell broke loose, so to speak. I had friends immediately commenting and emailing me, encouraging me and asking how I was friends with this person. Well...you know how it goes on Facebook. You're friends with someone you met at college and you knew this girl because of him but didn't really interact much and then you have a friend request and because you share common interests (God?) and you like to have friends (in general-not just on Facebook)...you become "friends" on Facebook. And every now and then, you will make a comment via a status update and sometimes people feel that it is their duty to point out that you are not being led by God if you choose to live this way or that, even if you believe that it is indeed God leading you.
So I've got my real friends jumping and defending our decision and there were counter attacks from the person who made the original comment. This person did go ahead and email me (which I believe should have been the only appropriate way this was done). The email was along the same lines...more defense of why I should NOT put my kids in public school. She included several passages from the Bible, which she believes God to be saying that it is Biblical for a mother to stay home and home school their children.
While we are told to train our children in the way they should go, nowhere in the Bible does God address the actual location of where the children are trained. I believe that the parents are responsible for training their children SPIRITUALLY. I do not believe that those passages address educational training, specifically where a child goes to school.
I also think that it is important to be open and prepare our children for what awaits them in this evil world. We live in a fallen place, with much sin, even among the church. Especially among the church! They need to know what they will be facing. We can't shelter them from the real world. We are to be IN the world, not of it. So we cannot just hide in the shelter of our home and train them up 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I do not believe that is what the Bible is saying. Do I want my children over-exposed to the sin that runs rampant? Of course not. Do I believe that they need to know what the real world is like? Absolutely! And I will not waver in that. The Bible is clear on what to do/how to live with regards to lying, stealing, anger, etc...
But there are other areas, like school, that are not clearly spelled out in the Bible. And God allows us to make choices that we believe are in the best interest of our children and our family. He can and will protect my children in public school and we will continue to train them at home and confront any things being taught that go against what the Bible says. The issue of how you "teach" your children, with regards to WHERE they attend school is not something that should be debated in my opinion, and no other person should try to discount what I believe God is me telling me to do. I am not going against Scripture or just off of my "feelings" because I am putting my kids in public school until we are in a position financially to move them back to private school. If I believed that the verses this person gave me indicated that I should quit my job, stay home with my kids and home school, I would do it...because God told me to. But that just isn't the case in this scenario.
I am, of course, no longer "friends" with this person on Facebook. I don't need that kind of "counsel" and stress. I have enough in my life, and I don't need to have unnecessary negative people in my life. It is my responsibility to listen to God, to listen to the advice of my elders, to listen to His word. Not to a girl on Facebook who I consider a peer and is still raising her children, as I am.
You do what is in the best interest of your relationship with God, your marriage and your family, not based on someone else's strong opinions on the subject. And our family is in a place where the best outcome is to put them back into public school. Unless I win the lottery, which I don't play. I will not sacrifice my marriage and family just so that Kris and I can work two jobs each, never see each other or the kids, in order to keep the kids in private school. That is NOT what God is calling us to and no one else can tell me what God is or is not telling me to do.
And just as one more point on the topic...my kids are going to the mission field. They don't necessarily see if this way but essentially, they are. I see no problem with this. Abbey was witnessing to a waitress the other day at Ponderosa. No prompting from us. It's just Abbey. She loves Jesus and she loves telling other people how much she loves Jesus and how great he is. All of my kids are that way. So, why not allow my children to minister to a child who may have never been to church in their life??? I am proud of my children and I know that they will have opportunities, which they will take, to share God's love with their friends. And regardless of the other downsides to public school, if my children can share God's love with someone, they are where they need to be. God can and will use my children to be a light in the dark and I am confident in and do have peace about the decision we made.