Friday, May 27, 2011

Did that just happen?

Pay close attention.  There will be a question at the end that needs answered.

This afternoon, while on the phone, I went outside to get my jacket out of the van.  It may be irrelevant, but I was wearing jeans, a plain green t-shirt, tennis shoes, no makeup and my hair is in a pony tail.  This black SUV came down the street in front of my house.  I've seen cars similar to this, and when he waved, I just assumed it was a neighbor, so I smiled politely and waved back. Then I went back to my phone conversation.  

A few minutes later the SUV came back the opposite direction, driving slowly.  As it passed my driveway it slowed even more, and then stopped completely in front of my house.  He had a passenger now, who had his window down.  The passenger looked at me and said "You got a man?  Where your man?"  I was taken aback but trying to think quickly (because maybe this guy is going to try to kill me...) I said "On his way home."  The guy looked disappointed and then they drove away.

Here is the question:

A.  Was he hitting on me?  Or asking that because the driver who waved at me originally was interested in my sloppy mess of a self?

B.  Were they casing the joint, trying to find out if there was a man of the house to determine if they could possibly come back and kill my family, and then kidnap and rape me?

This has never happened to me before.  Your thoughts are welcome.  

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Peace

Lately life has seemed...tumultuous.  Yes.  That's a good word to describe it.  And it's fun to say, even if it is just in my head (and now yours-seriously, how many of you stopped to think the word tumultuous just now?)

I'm working 40 hours per week in a job that I don't love but am thankful to have, trying to build my side business into my primary business (which is becoming a reality much sooner than I anticipated), raising four kids is exhausting, and marriage is by far the hardest thing I have EVER done.  Actually, STAYING MARRIED is the hardest thing I have ever done.  When you are really stressed out and in the midst of some serious marital tension, what do you want to do?  FLEE. That's what I want to do.  When things get tough or awkward between Kris and I, my instinct is to run.  I just want to run away.  I want to quit.  I want to just forget about life for a while.  It's a lot easier to run away than it is to stay and fight for your marriage.  But I truly do believe that the couples that stay together and fight to keep their marriage alive come out on the other end stronger and happier.  But it takes hard work.  And time.

I say all of that to say that today, for the first time in months, I have felt at peace.  Without the aid of Xanax.  I can't explain it.  Maybe it is everyone praying for me after all the "drama" from yesterday.  Whatever it is...I am grateful.  I came home after picking the kids up from school, expecting the usual screaming and crying and whining...and yet, I managed not to do ANY of those things on the way home.  ;-)

The kids played together quietly during the entire 12 minute drive home, which is unusual, to say the least!

Then we came in and the older kids helped me put some laundry away and deal with the dishes that were mounting.  With the dishes cleared away so I could see my counter tops, I started making dinner.  As I was standing there, cooking my fabulous spaghetti, I realized that it had been a really long time since I made a normal, during the week dinner.   Like an actual meal...not just sandwiches or cereal, which are common meals in this home, as I am usually too stressed out to "deal" with life.  Or we eat out.  

Standing there, preparing some garlic bread, it struck me that I was at peace.  I hadn't yelled at the kids.  I hadn't even been ANNOYED!  It was unreal!!  And it was a moment of pure bliss.  Unless you understand that roiling anxiety that I feel almost every second of every day, you won't understand why I can say that the moment was pure bliss.  It was a moment I was grateful for.  Did I mention I hadn't taken any xanax??  It was a good moment.

And then I had to start bedtime... ;-)

Blessed are those who home school...

...for they are the only ones following God's word. Where's that sarcasm font at?  RELAX.  I'm kidding!

I really stirred up some strong feelings on Facebook yesterday.  Actually, I riled up ONE person, who in turn riled up me and about 20 of my friends!

I am not going into all of the details about where my marriage is at, or the significant pay cut we may be taking soon, or the fact the tuition we agreed to pay for next fall ended up being $300+ higher than we expected, or the very difficult weekend that I experienced.

The bottom line is that Kris and I, after many different conversations and seeking advice of people we respect (people have had raised their kids and are respected in the church), and looking at our finances and what we need to do to survive, made the decision to remove our kids from the private Christian school they were attending.  We are hoping that it is only temporary and that God provides the means farther down the line to put them back in private school.

I do not have issues with home schooling.  I do not have issues with the public school system.  Do I want my kids taught that evolution is right?  NO.  They've already been taught that God created the world and we will continue to teach them the truth.  Am I concerned about the sex "education" that will be taught?  YES.  Am I an idiot?  I don't think so.

Here's the question...the debate:

Is it right for another Christian to tell a fellow sister in Christ that a decision she has made is NOT God's will for her life?  Is it OK for someone who has very strong feelings about home schooling to conclude that what God has told me is based on my feelings, and not actually from God?  The issue isn't home schooling vs. public school vs. private school.  The issue is that I said that Kris and I were led by God to remove our children from private school and enroll them in the public school system next year.

There are benefits and drawbacks to social networking, like Facebook.  I had two statuses early yesterday, as this decision was weighing heavily on my mind; very simple...just basic throwing out of info and asking for prayers.

The first one was this:

The Bishops have some tough decisions to make regarding school next year. Prayers appreciated.

The next one was this:

Thanks for all the prayers. God has been showing us in many different ways that it is time to move the kids back to public school...at least for the 2011-2012 school year. It was not an easy decision but we have peace about it.

Would those comments alone offend you or raise questions of conscience in your head?  

What I thought was harmless appreciation to my friends/family for their encouragement and wisdom on the decision we had to make caused quite a stir.  There were 35 comments on that second post.  The first one, and the one that bothered me (and apparently all my friends!) was this:

So God is telling you to send your kids into an Atheistic, Humanist, Godless educational system for 8 hours a day?? Hmmm not seeing how you can honestly believe that or have any peace about it. You can choose to send you kids to public school, but please do not say God told you to do it because scripture is pretty clear on who is supposed to train up our children.

So...my response was this:

Nice. This isn't a debate. I don't think God tells you to raise your family the same way he tells me to raise mine. Sending my kids to public school is not against the Bible...we are and will continue to train them. You have no right to impose your very legalistic views onto me and how I choose to raise my family. I understand you have very strong feelings about the public school system but it is the parents' responsibility to train the children, not the school...the Bible doesn't say that the training has to be done at home 24/7.

And then all hell broke loose, so to speak.  I had friends immediately commenting and emailing me, encouraging me and asking how I was friends with this person.   Well...you know how it goes on Facebook.  You're friends with someone you met at college and you knew this girl because of him but didn't really interact much and then you have a friend request and because you share common interests (God?) and you like to have friends (in general-not just on Facebook)...you become "friends" on Facebook.  And every now and then, you will make a comment via a status update and sometimes people feel that it is their duty to point out that you are not being led by God if you choose to live this way or that, even if you believe that it is indeed God leading you.  

So I've got my real friends jumping and defending our decision and there were counter attacks from the person who made the original comment.  This person did go ahead and email me (which I believe should have been the only appropriate way this was done).  The email was along the same lines...more defense of why I should NOT put my kids in public school.  She included several passages from the Bible, which she believes God to be saying that it is Biblical for a mother to stay home and home school their children.  

While we are told to train our children in the way they should go, nowhere in the Bible does God address the actual location of where the children are trained.  I believe that the parents are responsible for training their children SPIRITUALLY.  I do not believe that those passages address educational training, specifically where a child goes to school.  

I also think that it is important to be open and prepare our children for what awaits them in this evil world.  We live in a fallen place, with much sin, even among the church.  Especially among the church!  They need to know what they will be facing.  We can't shelter them from the real world.  We are to be IN the world, not of it.  So we cannot just hide in the shelter of our home and train them up 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I do not believe that is what the Bible is saying.  Do I want my children over-exposed to the sin that runs rampant? Of course not.  Do I believe that they need to know what the real world is like?  Absolutely!  And I will not waver in that.   The Bible is clear on what to do/how to live with regards to lying, stealing, anger, etc...

But there are other areas, like school, that are not clearly spelled out in the Bible.  And God allows us to make choices that we believe are in the best interest of our children and our family.  He can and will protect my children in public school and we will continue to train them at home and confront any things being taught that go against what the Bible says.  The issue of how you "teach" your children, with regards to WHERE they  attend school is not something that should be debated in my opinion, and no other person should try to discount what I believe God is me telling me to do.  I am not going against Scripture  or just off of my "feelings" because I am putting my kids in public school until we are in a position financially to move them back to private school.  If I believed that the verses this person gave me indicated that I should quit my job, stay home with my kids and home school, I would do it...because God told me to.  But that just isn't the case in this scenario.

I am, of course, no longer "friends" with this person on Facebook.  I don't need that kind of "counsel" and stress. I have enough in my life, and I don't need to have unnecessary negative people in my life.  It is my responsibility to listen to God, to listen to the advice of my elders, to listen to His word.  Not to a girl on Facebook who I consider a peer and is still raising her children, as I am.  

You do what is in the best interest of your relationship with God, your marriage and your family, not based on someone else's strong opinions on the subject.  And our family is in a place where the best outcome is to put them back into public school.  Unless I win the lottery, which I don't play.  I will not sacrifice my marriage and family just so that Kris and I can work two jobs each, never see each other or the kids, in order to keep the kids in private school.  That is NOT what God is calling us to and no one else can tell me what God is or is not telling me to do.  

And just as one more point on the topic...my kids are going to the mission field.  They don't necessarily see if this way but essentially, they are.  I see no problem with this.  Abbey was witnessing to a waitress the other day at Ponderosa.  No prompting from us.  It's just Abbey.  She loves Jesus and she loves telling other people how much she loves Jesus and how great he is.  All of my kids are that way.  So, why not allow my children to minister to a child who may have never been to church in their life???   I am proud of my children and I know that they will have opportunities, which they will take, to share God's love with their friends.  And regardless of the other downsides to public school, if my children can share God's love with someone, they are where they need to be.  God can and will use my children to be a light in the dark and I am confident in and do have peace about the decision we made.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Seriously Steak 'n Shake?

So, I was at Steak 'n Shake tonight.  And I had to pee.  Yup.  I said pee.  If I were speaking to you, I wouldn't say "I had to use the facilities" or "Gotta go potty".  So, what you see is what you get.  Or something like that.

There were two stalls in there.  One of them was roughly the size of table with seats for 6.  How did I come up with that comparison?  I was looking around my house, trying to think of something to compare it to...and I see my table that seats six.  Simple logic.

The other stall, however, was...well...it was small.  And by small, I mean TINY.  I stood there staring at it for a few minutes...trying to contemplate how one would go about even shutting the door.  Getting in is no problem.  If you want to pee with the door wide open, for all the world to see.  As you will see...there are literally just inches (maybe one or two) between the door and the toilet seat.  And to the right, there is the large, round toilet paper dispenser.  And trust me when I tell you that this picture is deceptive.  The space on the right LOOKS a little bigger than it is.  I totally could not have fit between the toilet and wall.  Yes, I know I'm a big girl...(feel free to pause and enjoy the video before continuing on...)



...but I'm pretty sure my 10 year old couldn't fit between the toilet and the wall, especially with the toilet paper dispenser right there.  So I came to the conclusion that the only possible way to get into the bathroom and accomplish shutting the door would be to climb up on the toilet seat and then turn around and shut the door.  You would then, of course, have to exit the same way.


Needless to say, I used the table-sized stall.

And since I'm feeling generous, I'd like to take this moment to make you laugh.  Are you ready?  Tonight I watched this girl at Steak 'n Shake make a complete fool of herself.  Moron.  Idiot.  She really was.  As she was exiting the restaurant she went to open the door.  Even though it clearly said LLUP (pretend those letters are inverted because my keyboard won't make them go the other way), she must have read it PULL and proceeded to PULL the door open.  Only it wouldn't open.  Because the idiot read the word backwards and the PULL only applies to the people on the outside, who know how to read left to right, and not right to left.  She must have had a REALLY long day.

Yes, that idiot was me.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

People Get Ready...

...Jesus is coming...

in a few hours apparently.

Here's what I don't understand about people who prophesy about the end of the world or the rapture.  The Bible is pretty clear that no one will know the day or the hour, and that it will come like a thief in the night...so I'm pretty sure it's not happening at 6pm in whichever time zone you happen to be in.  It's all a bunch of nonsense.

I can't sleep tonight.

Olivia is having problems with her asthma again.  Big surprise...

That being said, Kris stayed home with her today.  Now, I should preface this by saying that Kris RARELY changes his status on Facebook.  Hardly ever.  So to find out he changed it twice today had to be for something good, right?

The first funny thing Olivia said is this:  

"I like staying home sick most with mommy.  Because mommy takes me somewhere to eat like McDonalds."

Then, later, he changed his status again to the following:

"Olivia is officially her mother's daughter.  She just turned to me and said, 'OK, you can stop looking at me now.'"

Maybe it's funnier if I tell you that I say that to Kris a lot...especially when I am uncomfortable about something and he is just staring at me.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Stupid little babies

Mama’s Losin’ It


You know who make me really jealous? 

Like insanely, crazy, passionately jealous?

 BABIES!

Like this one:


Or this one:


Or this one:


Even this one:


Just look at them!  Do they look like they have any worries or a care in the world?  Do they look like they are stressed out over money or work?  To be a baby again...to be held (wait...I don't like to be held...)...to be swaddled up and kept warm.  To have my every need met, whenever I cry?  To be loved unconditionally.  To be treated with such gentleness and tenderness.  To not know the hurt and pain that comes with being an adult.  To be innocent and sweet and elicit feelings of love and adoration from everyone around me.

And babies?  Plain adorable.  So freaking cute.  They are small and helpless and can make you feel like there is a reason to live.  They are the essence of life - everything that is good and true in this world.

Stupid little babies!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Random updates

Work is slow.  Too slow.  Slow enough that the owners may be taking a pay cut.  It is worrisome, since Kris is one of those owners.  I don't know what we will do or how we will make it through, but the hope/prayer is that the decrease will not be long-term.  The easiest thing to do to recover the loss would be to pull the kids out of private school.  However, this is NOT an option.  We worked too hard to get them back there.

The kids are almost done with school for the year.  I had NO clue how we will manage this summer.  My mother-in-law has graciously agreed to watch them as often as she can.  She can't watch them on Wednesdays, so Kris and I are going to have to figure something out, since our presence is needed in the office daily.  With what I consider to be a HUGE pay cut coming, paying someone to watch the kids will be problematic...

I still love bacon.

I'm still crazy (in case there was any doubt).

I still don't have my beloved Evo.  Soon...very soon.  I hope.  Though with the upcoming income changes...we'll see...I may need to be contributing most, if not all, of my additional income just to make the bills.

I don't have a lot of time to write, and when I think to write, it is when I am utterly exhausted at night or at work.  I'm not telling you which of those times I choose to write.  ;-)

I am still going through the laser hair removal treatments.  I have had two now.  My third is on June 6th.  I was told that I wouldn't notice a big difference until after the third.  However, I have noticed a difference, because the hair is growing much slower and is much less noticeable.  I am glad I made the decision to go through with it, and if you are self-conscious about something that this will fix, and you can afford it, I highly recommend it! It has given me one less thing to obsess about!

I have found the dearest friend in Jennifer (you know who you are).  When you go for years not connecting with another woman, someone you can tell your whole heart to and know that woman to woman, they understand, it is invigorating and incredible to find a kindred spirit.  We're bosom friends, like Anne and Diana.  And I just wanted to give a shout out, because it brings me great joy to have found her.

I think that about sums it up for now.  I have a busy week ahead, but hopefully I can sneak in some writing.  I never did get a chance to show you the card the kids got me for Mother's Day.  So I will try to do that soon, and also, I will have to geek out for a bit over a bridge tournament we competed in on Saturday night.  Stay tuned...

Bacon artwork

Van Gogh's Starry Night

A newer take on an old painting, sent to me three times in the last week, for obvious reasons, as you will see.


What else do you have for me, related to bacon?  

Monday, May 9, 2011

*sigh*

There is always a downside to being brutally honest about yourself and your life. It is worse on Facebook than among the blogging community. I know that I can write whatever I want here, and MOST of you won't judge me or think I'm as horrid as some of my more conservative friends on Facebook do.

These last couple of days have been really rough. Mother's Day didn't go as planned and the kids were really struggling, after staying up way too late Saturday night. That's the nice way of saying it. I said a few things on Facebook, most in jest, and of course I ruffled some feathers.

But you know what? I am not *THAT* mom. I'm not the mom who puts on a smile and acts like she loves being a mom at all times! I'm not the mom who pretends that my kids are NEVER bad, annoying, disrespectful, rude, etc...

Yes. Believe it or not. My kids get on my nerves. There. I said it.

I have four children under the age of 10. Three of which are all very close in age. Yes, I realize that is my fault, along with my husband's help. Why does it make me a bad mother to admit that I get annoyed by my kids' behavior sometimes? How many posts have you read about all the great, funny things that my kids do? Do I need to list them off? Am I not allowed to have a bad couple of days, and express my frustration via Facebook, which is MY personal outlet? If my comments bother you, hide me. I'm not going to be offended by that. What offends and upsets me is the implication that I do not love my kids.

Is it because I said negative things ON Mother's Day? Well I'm sorry. I didn't have a great Mother's Day. I just didn't. Does that make me a bad mom to admit that. Am I a bad mom because my ideal Mother's Day is one spent without my kids??? Without the responsibility of cooking, cleaning up messes, settling arguments, etc...?

I LOVE MY KIDS. WITH ALL MY HEART. If anyone questions that, because I say that they annoy me, or make negative comments from time to time, my only response to you is LIGHTEN UP. Just because I don't parent the way that you do, or because I am open and honest about my feelings from time to time, doesn't make me a bad parent and doesn't mean that I don't love my kids.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world! And I REFUSE to act like I have it all together. Because the truth is, I DO NOT! You won't see me smiling all the time, cooing to my kids out in public and acting as if they never do anything to make me mad. That's not who I am. And it's unrealistic. I know from other friends who aren't afraid to be honest that you know what? Their kids annoy them too!

I didn't necessarily intend to write all of that, but I suppose I needed to vent. I've had a lot of pain in my back and am worried that it is going to give out at any minute. That never helps. My neck and head have been screaming in pain for days. It's just been hard...when you live with pain on a daily basis, it impacts everything about you, including how you feel about being a mother, and how you feel about your children/spouse.

So, I DO love my family. But that love is clouded by pain right now. So if I have offended anyone on Facebook...all I can say is that you just really don't know me, and if you don't know me, I need you to just back off. Because who are you to judge me or imply that I am a bad parent? Until you spend a day in my shoes filled with constant pain, a demanding full-time job and four children, one of which may or may not be bipolar...I don't think it's fair for you to assume that you know anything about what I am going through, or confront me for expressing some moments of weakness via Facebook.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Just to make me mad

I'm pretty sure my husband gets some kind of sick pleasure out of making me mad.

It isn't that we fight a lot. That isn't what I am talking about. Mostly, I am an instigator, and he is a peace maker. But there are certain moments when he enjoys making me mad. It's almost as if it is some sort of a game to him.

Like the night he proposed.

Or tonight.

I told Kris tonight I was going to run to QuikTrip to get my beloved white peach tea. He said "Katherine, you should give Mommy her Mother's Day present now." So Katherine brought me a card that she picked out on her own (which I will write about tomorrow-it made me laugh and cry), and inside of it was a QT gift card. I'll admit my first thought was "Is this another $10 gift card?" It was in fact a $20 gift card, which I immediately thanked him for, then while I was out, I ended up spending $10 of it on him and the kids. So I came home and told him "Good thing it wasn't just for $10!"

Anyway...back to the story...

He decided to give me the gift he got for me tonight too. I'd been telling him that with my recent conversion into a girl, I now needed some sort of jewelry box and I made it CLEAR that I wanted to be able to HANG my necklaces. I sent him pictures of jewelry boxes/armoire, so that there would be no question about what I wanted. I told him it would make a good Mother's Day gift.

Last week he came inside with a small bag that said JC Penny Jewelry - so I figured he got me a new necklace or something. I put the thought of a jewelry box behind me, pleased that he got me a Mother's Day gift. We don't always do gifts for Mother's/Father's day...we usually just all go out to eat together.

So when he gave me my gift tonight, I was not surprised to see the JC Penny jewelry bag. Inside was a small box. I opened it up, facing away from me, and asked Olivia if it was pretty. She said "There's nothing in there." I turned it around to see that indeed there was nothing inside the necklace box. So Kris said "Oh, there's nothing in there? Well maybe you should open this then." and he handed me a small box to open. I opened that to find a VERY small jewelry box with a heart on it - with room for very little jewelry, let alone a place to hang my necklaces!!

So of course, my first thought was "Um...yeah this is NOT the kind of jewelry box I asked for." But I said "thank you", instead of something sarcastic. I know. I am as shocked as you are. But I will admit I was getting mad. I knew he was just screwing with me at this point, and likely enjoying himself immensely. Where was the necklace and why did he buy me such a tiny, useless jewelry box?

That's when he handed me the "real" present, which was a beautiful, wooden armoire of sorts, with two places to hang necklaces and a lot of room. Inside of it was a beautiful necklace with two hearts on it. So of course, I loved it! The necklace and the armoire/jewelry box. I gave the smaller jewelry box to Katherine.

But I couldn't help but be frustrated with Kris. I'm telling you, he must really love to watch me start to get mad, and then swoop in just before I really start fuming and make everything better with the "real" gift. What kind of sick, twisted human being does that?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

BACON


Close friends and family and anyone else who sees my status updates on Facebook know that I love bacon.  I think it is one of the best foods ever created!  Left uncontrolled, I could probably eat an entire pound in one sitting.  I like it that much.  I could eat it every day.  Until my arteries clogged and I died.  I would proudly welcome death by bacon.

So with my love for bacon, and my friends' knowledge of said obsession, people think of me now when they see bacon-related things.  For instance, my friend Jennifer told me a couple of weeks ago about Bacon Cologne. And now, while it's pricey, I'd really like to smell it.  And Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon too apparently both talked about it on their shows.  Here is the video from The Colbert Report about the cologne and all the Denny's new bacon dishes:

The website describes the Bacon Cologne as "pure essential oil blend of mandarin, bergamot, grapefruit, lemon, nutmeg, pimento berry, black pepper and a touch of sweet, a smidgen of savory, and one pinch of Bacon salty goodness."  I wish I could request a product sample, just to smell it.


Then, not long after, my friend Jaime posted a link on how to make Bacon Roses.  I love that my friends see these things and send them to me.  That day, I posted the following on Facebook:

"I love that my friends keep posting weird things about bacon on my wall.  That's true friendship right there! I think that when I die, I should be buried with a bacon rose made by Jaime and a small bottle of bacon cologne from Jennifer."

Jennifer also said "All I can think about is you writing a blog post or song like "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry, only with a bacon theme to it.  Weird.  Creepy even."  I took that as a challenge - my lyrics aren't great but you will find them below.  It helps to listen to the song while you read my lryics.  Not great lyrics...just me being silly.  Later, in the same thread, my sister was offering lines like "If I die young, bury me in bacon..." and "So put on your best boys, and I'll wear my bacon." and "What I never cooked is fried..." and then "Gather up your pork, keep it your pocket, save it for a time when you're really gonna need it."

Later, another friend posted a picture on my wall of the bacon roses with a different link.  A few days ago my friend Trish said "So I'm at Denny's' right now and I'm so tempted to get the maple bacon sundae!!  Have you had one yet?"  The answer to the question was NO.  But I am very interested in the BBLT...extra bacon on a BLT?  PERFECT!

Another friend, Kim posted a link on my wall about this business these guys started.  They have bacon salt, and even bacon flavored chapstick, though I am not sure I could go for that!

So with all the fun stuff people were posting, including pictures like this from Amanda who captioned it by saying "The things that make me think of you, my dear friend. :)":


...with all of that, I simply changed my status to say "I think I should have a contest to see who sends me the most bizarre bacon-related item/product.  The prize of course would be a lb. of bacon from me, that you have to share with me."

Well, apparently someone took me up on it!  Today when I got home, I had this odd, smallish box from Amazon.com at my door.  The outside said it came from some place called BigFlySports.  I waited until Kris got home, because I didn't remember ordering anything from Amazon.com and certainly not from BigFlySports.  I asked him if he knew anything about it.  He said "no" and so I proceeded to open it.  And then I just laughed and laughed and laughed.  For about 5 minutes.  My kids also laughed and Katherine wanted to open it up and smell it...Here is what I received today:

Bacon Scented Car  Air Freshener
And I have NO idea who sent it to me, so I can't even thank them.  I just think it's hilarious and pretty awesome that I have such cool friends!

Here are the lyrics to my "Bury Me With Bacon" - it's rough, I know...I'm not a song writer!  And I couldn't come up with clever lyrics for each line...

If I die soon, bury me with bacon
Lay me on homemade bacon roses
Sink them in the oil and fry
Send me away with the scent of a warm slice

And whip up an omelet, and eat it in my honor
You'll know I'm still with you when you pair it with some bacon.

A sharp knife makes a short slice.

Three slices of bacon
Goes with eggs and toast
Gather up your pork,
Keep it in your pocket
Save it for a time when you're really gonna need it.

A sharp knife makes a short slice.
Well I've had just enough time
So put on your best bib and fry up some bacon...



**some lyrics courtesy of my sister!**

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Breakfast in bed

I love my kids.  I really do.  I feel like I should preface this post with that.

Earlier in the summer, we had a conversation with them about the weekends.  And letting us sleep in.  They are old enough now that they can take care of themselves for a few hours in the morning.  We have a finished basement with a TV and the rule was that they could get up and go downstairs and watch TV.  They could even get themselves breakfast WITHOUT ASKING and could get the five year old breakfast too.

And yet...they seem to have forgotten.  Perhaps it's time to have the discussion again.  I am so tired of hearing them come in my room before I have any intention of getting up, and trying to have a conversation with me.  Olivia is the worst, because she's five and talks....All.  The.  Time.  The weekends are the only chance I have to sleep in.  And for the last several weeks these crazy kids have made it impossible.  I was ranting on Facebook yesterday about Livvy asking me constant questions that we've already told them several times they do not need permission for!  AHHH!!!!!!

This morning when Olivia came into my room, I was prepared.  I could hear her coming-I'm a light sleeper-and so I barely opened my eyes, verified it was her and said "Don't you say a word.  Just go downstairs and watch TV."  And then she did!  So I thought things were good.  I thought I could go back to sleep, which was just foolish, because once I'm awake, I'm awake.  But I was still trying.  Until Kaleb came into my room, holding a bowl of cereal in front of my face.  And while I wanted to appreciate the sweetness of him making me breakfast, I just wanted to scream "GET OUT OF HERE AND LET ME SLEEP!"  I didn't, of course.  I'm crazy, but I'm not cruel.  Most of the time.  I just told him that I really appreciated that he made me cereal but that I was clearly still sleeping and someone else would have to eat it.  Then he carried it away and pretty much demanded that Katherine eat it.

And while I'm ranting...why do the children always ask ME their unnecessary questions first thing in the morning?  They don't go to Kris and ask him a million things or feel this need to talk to him.  It's only me.  Several people have suggested that Kris and I switch sides, thinking that if he is on the outside, they will talk to him.  We used to sleep that way.  It didn't matter.  I could sleep downstairs and instead of going into my room, they would find me.  I could sleep outside and their little selves would just know where I was and they would seek me out.  I swear they would.  *sigh*  The joys of motherhood!