*sigh*

There is always a downside to being brutally honest about yourself and your life. It is worse on Facebook than among the blogging community. I know that I can write whatever I want here, and MOST of you won't judge me or think I'm as horrid as some of my more conservative friends on Facebook do.

These last couple of days have been really rough. Mother's Day didn't go as planned and the kids were really struggling, after staying up way too late Saturday night. That's the nice way of saying it. I said a few things on Facebook, most in jest, and of course I ruffled some feathers.

But you know what? I am not *THAT* mom. I'm not the mom who puts on a smile and acts like she loves being a mom at all times! I'm not the mom who pretends that my kids are NEVER bad, annoying, disrespectful, rude, etc...

Yes. Believe it or not. My kids get on my nerves. There. I said it.

I have four children under the age of 10. Three of which are all very close in age. Yes, I realize that is my fault, along with my husband's help. Why does it make me a bad mother to admit that I get annoyed by my kids' behavior sometimes? How many posts have you read about all the great, funny things that my kids do? Do I need to list them off? Am I not allowed to have a bad couple of days, and express my frustration via Facebook, which is MY personal outlet? If my comments bother you, hide me. I'm not going to be offended by that. What offends and upsets me is the implication that I do not love my kids.

Is it because I said negative things ON Mother's Day? Well I'm sorry. I didn't have a great Mother's Day. I just didn't. Does that make me a bad mom to admit that. Am I a bad mom because my ideal Mother's Day is one spent without my kids??? Without the responsibility of cooking, cleaning up messes, settling arguments, etc...?

I LOVE MY KIDS. WITH ALL MY HEART. If anyone questions that, because I say that they annoy me, or make negative comments from time to time, my only response to you is LIGHTEN UP. Just because I don't parent the way that you do, or because I am open and honest about my feelings from time to time, doesn't make me a bad parent and doesn't mean that I don't love my kids.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world! And I REFUSE to act like I have it all together. Because the truth is, I DO NOT! You won't see me smiling all the time, cooing to my kids out in public and acting as if they never do anything to make me mad. That's not who I am. And it's unrealistic. I know from other friends who aren't afraid to be honest that you know what? Their kids annoy them too!

I didn't necessarily intend to write all of that, but I suppose I needed to vent. I've had a lot of pain in my back and am worried that it is going to give out at any minute. That never helps. My neck and head have been screaming in pain for days. It's just been hard...when you live with pain on a daily basis, it impacts everything about you, including how you feel about being a mother, and how you feel about your children/spouse.

So, I DO love my family. But that love is clouded by pain right now. So if I have offended anyone on Facebook...all I can say is that you just really don't know me, and if you don't know me, I need you to just back off. Because who are you to judge me or imply that I am a bad parent? Until you spend a day in my shoes filled with constant pain, a demanding full-time job and four children, one of which may or may not be bipolar...I don't think it's fair for you to assume that you know anything about what I am going through, or confront me for expressing some moments of weakness via Facebook.