Sick & tired of being sick and tired

I'm tired.

Tired of doctors.

Tired of procedures.

Tired of specialists referring me to completely different specialists.

Tired of living in constant, daily pain.

Tired of wanting answers, expecting answers, and being left with more questions instead.

Today was my second opinion with a neurosurgeon, to see if he thought surgery to remove the ruptured discs at C5-6 and C6-7 was necessary.

Here is the short version:

Because I don't have any neurological symptoms (numbness/tingling/weakness in my arms or legs-except my right elbow which is completely unrelated), surgery may not be my best option. There is only a small chance that surgery will actually alleviate my neck pain.  It is true that surgery will fix the "picture" (the ruptured discs showing on the MRI), but it very likely will not take away the pain in my neck that never ends.  It's a "coin toss".

So what are my options?

Well...the same things I've been doing for the last 3 years. Physical therapy. Massage therapy. Chiropractic care. Stretches.  All things that feel good while I'm doing them, but provide no lasting relief.

Or...

I can start seeing a pain management doctor.

I could elect to have the surgery to remove the discs and fuse the bones, and Dr. Forget  said he will do the surgery if I want him to.  But the odds of the surgery actually helping my pain are not good.  So, until I start showing neurological symptoms with the pain, surgery isn't ideal. 

I have an appointment with a pain management doctor on June 14th. The appointment isn't even to start a treatment plan. It's to meet the doctor and discuss my treatment options. And then...after that...maybe I can make another appointment and eventually I'll get some relief...

I'm tired.

And frustrated. 

And I'm too young to have  osteoarthritis/bone spurs/degenerative disc disease.

I'm not discounting God and his power or will in all of this. I'm just venting, and trying to process that after all of this, I'm still in pain and likely will continue to be. Maybe it's my lot in life. Maybe this is my "thorn in my side". I don't know. I just know, as my dad always used to say, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!"