When I got my new Android tablet, it came with $25 to the Google Play store. Perfect! Since Katherine won't let me illegally obtain music from the library anymore, I have to BUY any music that I want. I knew immediately that I wanted a Brandon Heath album. I wound up with that, a couple of Matthew West albums, and a Jason Gray album (plus a couple extra songs). And yes, I may have gone over the $25 by about $10.
That's how they get you.
They lure you in.
Just like the casinos..."Here have $25. Then get greedy and spend even more. We know you will!"
When I woke up at 4am after less than 4 hours of sleep, I had no idea what the day would hold. I had to leave early to go pick Katherine and Kaleb up from camp. The camp was 2 1/2 hours away and my alarm wasn't set to go off until 5am. I tried to go back to sleep but then I had a nightmare, and after almost elbowing Kris in the face when I jolted awake, I decided going back to sleep wasn't the best idea. So I got up and got ready, then I laid down on the couch.
I got back home around noon, and as I was sitting on the couch, I got an email from my mother-in-law. She told me that she really thought it would be best if my parents heard my whole story from me directly. I thought about it and realized she was right. I was so ready to move forward and I knew that God was ready for me to share my story, but I hadn't stopped to consider my parents. So I took her wise advice and began the process of sharing with my parents what has been going on and about God's work in our life and our marriage.
I was very scared. It's one thing to tell a complete stranger my story. But someone that I know and love, and someone that loves me? All kinds of questions go through your head. What will they think? Will they be disappointed in you? Will they still love you? Will this make your relationship stronger or worse? I had so many fears flying through my head and heart. I was incredibly anxious and couldn't breathe. But I took that step forward that I had been trying to avoid for as long as possible.
I realized that none of those questions mattered. I knew what I had to do and so I did it. And really, they were just stall tactics from the enemy. It is amazing to me, being able to see how the enemy is constantly at work. I am so thankful that God has opened my eyes and is helping me to realize when my thoughts are not of Him. Any thought that isn't of God, must come from the enemy. Fear is from the enemy. And it keeps us tied down. It keeps us where we are. It keeps us from moving forward. And if the enemy can keep us stranded in fear, he is accomplishing his purpose.
I wasn't ready to tell my parents the ugly truth about my life. But God knew that I was going to be able to do it, gave me the strength, and blessed me through their loving and forgiving response towards me and Kris.
And of course, I heard a new song today that I just HAVE to share with you. I know that music isn't for everyone but it is a huge part of how God speaks to me and helps me through life. I don't believe in coincidences, as I have said many times before. I think that God gave me this song at just the right time. It was shortly after I received the reply from my parents. I was driving and feeling overwhelmed by God's goodness and grace in my life. I was thankful that my fears were unfounded. I was grateful to have parents that have been praying for me and my family, and that love us so much. And then this song came on. And God just reminded me that I no longer have to live as that person I used to be. In fact, I am NOT that person. I am NEW. Check this out! The lyrics are below. They speak for themselves. Very powerful.
