Fear is easy...

...love is hard.

Can anyone else relate to that?

"Fear is easy, love is hard."

When I got my new Android tablet, it came with $25 to the Google Play store.  Perfect!  Since Katherine won't let me illegally obtain music from the library anymore, I have to BUY any music that I want.  I knew immediately that I wanted a Brandon Heath album.  I wound up with that, a couple of Matthew West albums, and a Jason Gray album (plus a couple extra songs).  And yes, I may have gone over the $25 by about $10.

That's how they get you.

They lure you in.

Just like the casinos..."Here have $25.  Then get greedy and spend even more.  We know you will!"

Yeah...that's pretty much how it is with me and music.  And the casino.  I told Kris that because I missed out on 7 years of awesome Christian CHRISTMAS music, I'd be spending a lot this year.  You know...since accidentally copying CDs to your computer from the library is not only illegal, but immoral.

What?  I can think about (and listen to) Christmas music now.  Christmas is closing in and it'll be here before we know it.  I can listen to Christmas music whenever I want.  In fact, I probably will listen to some on Pandora today.  Because I can.  And there is nothing wrong with it.

But now I have this dilemma because I know there is music I will want to own, and well...I don't have a job.  Yeah, that's the dilemma.  The lack of music, not the lack of a job.  Or maybe I have those mixed around...

ANYWAY...

So as I have been listening to all these songs, I am hearing songs for the first time.  I am weeping, of course.  Some of them are just so powerful.  They lyrics are amazing.  I listen and I think "Man, how did he know how to express what was in my heart?"

I think it's the typical Sunday School answer:

Jesus.

Jason Gray has a song called "Fear Is Easy, Love Is Hard."  To say that I love this song would be ridiculous.  I don't just love this song.  I am... obsessed?  Not sure what word to use.  It fills me with passion.  Because I can really relate to it.  Especially when you talk about fear.  Fear?  I have a lot of it.  Some rational.  Most completely irrational.

I listen to the words and I can see so many different times in my life when a certain verse or phrase applied.  Kris and I talk a lot now about living in the light.  There is a line in this song that rings so true.  "Fear will leave you hiding in the dark but love will bring light into your heart."  If you've been reading along these last few months, you will understand how happy this makes my heart.  And it's so true.  My mother-in-law was laughing at me the other day.  Because I'm funny.  We were talking about this concept of light and dark.  And I think I just simply said "Dark is bad.  Light is good."  So simplistic.  And of course it was funny, coming from me.  But think about it.  So true.

And then, the next part makes my heart hurt.  This song is an emotional roller coaster!  This part brings friends to my heart that are broken and hurting.  That are living in the dark, that don't realize how good the light is.  How freeing.  How incredible.  And I want nothing more than to somehow magically communicate to them the truth about living in the light, instead of hiding in the dark.

The dark will only lead to more pain.  I believe this with everything that is in me!

Eventually death.  Maybe not physical.  But emotional.  I know that for sure.  Looking back at my mistakes, I can see clearly how the road I was on was killing me. Living in the dark = death.  Dark is bad.

Jason Gray writes this:

I'm sorry baby is what he should've said
But she wouldn't listen even if he did
They'll die without forgiveness soon
But no one wants to make a move
When fear is easy and love is hard

Is it just me, because of where I've been, or does that verse make your heart just ache for people you know who are living this way?  It isn't even about my friends not knowing God or following what they know in their hearts is true.  It's about a deep love that exists in my heart for these people.  It's about looking into the future and knowing that their hearts will break and they will be hurt and alone all over again.  And the last thing I want to do is watch dear friends hurting.  Being an empathetic person myself, it's doubly hard when you watch someone I love follow the same path that I did.  Or, worse, not even realize this great love that God has for them.  The love that I missed out on for so long.

Now that I get it, now that it is clear and my eyes are open, I'm left with this deep love and concern for my friends who are broken, lost and hurting.

And not just MY friends.

Others who know people caught up in this, living in the dark.  My heart hurts and breaks for anyone that finds themselves here.

Broken.

Alone.

Resistant to God's love.

Afraid.

Convinced that they are beyond God's reach.

Listening to the devil's lies that they are not enough.  That they are unworthy of love.  That what they have done is just TOO bad.  That it's too late.  That they've made their choices, justified them and there is no going back.

I'm here today screaming out that it is NOT too late!

It's NEVER too late!

You CAN go back!

You can be redeemed!

Your marriage can be redeemed!

You can come into the light and know that God's grace is enough to cover ALL of your sin!

Or, you can hide in the dark.

Either way, no matter what happens, I am here.

I am the friend you can turn to.

If it is to share the joy of what God has done or is doing in your life, or if it is because the darkness that you thought brought you so much happiness has left you feeling broken and alone.

I care.

I love you.

I will never leave your side.