Modesty

A few weeks ago, I sat in my friend's living room, talking emphatically about the way women dress.  We were talking about modesty and how we thought women should be dressing.  Actually, let me rephrase that.  We talked about how we felt CHRIST-following women should dress.  How she and I should dress.  How our daughters should dress.

Here is where I'm going to have to be honest and personal.  Six months ago, I didn't think there was anything wrong with showing a little cleavage.  After all, when you are...um...we'll go with 'busty', it is very difficult to find shirts that aren't revealing.  It's next to impossible these days to find SHORTS that aren't too short (though I had issues with my legs so I didn't have a problem wearing capris instead!).  However, that doesn't change the fact that six months ago, I dressed however I wanted to.  I wasn't trying to get the attention of other men specifically.  But I wasn't trying NOT to either.

Since April, however, God has convicted me in this area.  And more recently, I realize how important it is to not only BE modest, but also to show my girls how to be modest.

This could get a little controversial, because not everyone will agree with me.  But, like I always say, you don't have to agree with me.  You don't even have to read this.

My blog.

My thoughts.

My views.

And what I am about to say, as I did when I wrote about MY choice NOT to read 50 Shades of Grey, is an exhortation to CHRISTIAN WOMEN.  If you don't fall into that category, this does not apply to you.  Let me also preface this by saying that if you are a Christian and what I am about to say describes you, I am not judging you.

I WAS that woman.

I was immodest (and a whole lot more), though what I wore was tame compared to a lot of what we see!  These days, women can wear practically NOTHING and it seems perfectly acceptable to the vast majority, which now sickens me.

I wore whatever I wanted.  I wore what made me feel confident.  Because my confidence didn't come from knowing who I am in Christ, as it does now.  I just want to urge my Christian friends to think about this.  Think about how it affects the men in your lives and what you are teaching your children.

Perhaps your husband doesn't have an addiction to pornography.  But that doesn't mean that he doesn't lust, on some level or another.  And maybe he doesn't.  I don't know the heart of every man.  But I do believe that God created men to be visual creatures.  They are designed to admire beauty.  When it crosses that line over into lust however, it is sin.

And you know what?

As women, simply in how we choose our clothing, we can actually HELP men in their constant battle against lust.

I don't know about you, but after all the horrible things I have done and gone through, the LAST thing I want to do is to cause a Christian brother to stumble because of how I am dressed.  If I can help any Christian brother as he battles attacks from the enemy constantly, then I will work hard to do just that.

And I will teach my girls how to be modest.

What it really means to be modest.

What it looks like.

And what is immodest.

For me and my family, bikinis are NOT an option.  I will never understand bikinis.  Whether someone "has a body for them" or not.  Either way, for some crazy reason, it is perfectly acceptable (in our society) for a woman to flaunt her body by wearing as little to the swimming pool as possible.  While it seems natural to go to a pool and see a woman dressed in a bikini, we would be horrified if our neighbor next door walked outside in her bra and panties.  WHY???  What is wrong with us?  Are we so messed up that we don't see how the majority of bras and panties cover MORE than bikinis????

Do I believe we need to cover ourselves from head to toe?  No.

Some might.

If God convicts you in that, feel free.

But I do believe it is my responsibility to show as little skin as possible, especially in the area of cleavage.  If I am to be my "brother's keeper", it is imperative that I protect their eyes and their minds in whatever way is possible.

As I said before, wearing a low cut shirt in the past didn't bother me.  Then again, I had walked away from God and didn't care about much of anything except what I wanted.  I never once wanted to gain unsolicited attention.  I wanted to feel confident, and sadly, this is one way that I felt confident.  The enemy deceived me into thinking that the way I dressed defined me and gave me confidence.  I bought into the lies.  I accepted them wholeheartedly.  I was grasping for any shred of confidence, that I allowed countless men to see more than they should have ever been able to see, and I wasn't wearing a bikini!  I think that sadly, a lot of women find themselves in this same position.  Not all.  But a lot.  And even worse, there are those women who don't even CARE what their exposed body does to men.  Worse than that, the women who WANT the attention and "all eyes on them".  Am I the only one who sees how blatant the enemy is???

I have learned WHO I am and WHOSE I am.  And that is where my confidence comes from.  I no longer need to "feel good about myself" through how I dress.

Do I want to look nice?

Sure.

Is it extremely difficult to find shirts that cover me up AND look good?

You know it is.

Is my husband and every other Christian man worth the sacrifice?

Absolutely.

And beyond that, there are the men who don't even know they are lost.  Who don't know that looking at a woman lustfully is wrong.  And for those men, I want to work even harder to show them that I am different.  That I am set apart.  That I am in the world, but not OF the world.

And I just want to urge Christian women to take a stand.

Decide to choose modesty.

Teach your little girls to be modest.

If we don't set the example, who will?

It certainly won't be Hollywood.

It won't be the world.

And sadly, it most likely won't be the "Church".

Check out this video below and let me know what you think.  It is a man's perspective (several men actually) on what the battle against sexual temptation is like on a daily basis, and how Christian women can help.

There is another video that is geared towards women.  Whether you take the time to watch the second one or not is up to you.

I'll tell you up front that the first video is about 8 minutes in length.  Please watch this one.  Hear this plea from men who are fighting this battle with lust on a daily basis!  I really wish that more preachers would preach like this.  You hear me, Tony?  ;-)

This is the video that is directed at women from this preacher's church.  His plea is for the women in his congregation.  While he is not talking directly to me, I took a lot away from what he had to say (though I didn't care for ALL the yelling near the end), and I am emboldened to stand up and show the world what modesty looks like.  No one else is going to...