Starting Over

Two weeks ago tonight my life changed drastically. Most people didn't notice the change or don't know the details, because well quite frankly, it's my story to tell if and when I'm ready. I know that those of you who stalk me on Facebook have seen some crazy up and down posts for the last two weeks. Not to worry. My life is stabilizing. At least...that's what I'm aiming for.

Someday I'll write a book about everything that has encompassed the last 13 years of my life, but tonight is not that night and my blog isn't going to be the place I do that. All I want to say here is that I'm starting over. It would take months at least for me to write my whole life story and even longer for you to read it. But I'm 33 years old and recognize that I need to start over. As a wife. As a mom. As a woman of God (I'm not sure I ever really figured out how to begin that journey yet).

My husband and I watched Fireproof tonight. It isn't the first time that we have seen the movie but a song on there really struck me. I have heard it before but it never really hit me so hard in the gut before. So I just wanted to share that tonight. It's called Slow Fade by Casting Crowns. The video is moving, to be sure, but the lyrics just really cut to my heart and speak volumes. This song puts it into words better than I ever could begin to.



Slow Fade - Casting Crowns


Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray 
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray 
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see