There is no denying that the pain I have become accustomed to has worsened since I started working. I was talking to my mom about this last night. In the last (almost) three months, my pain level has doubled. It was tolerable, while I was sitting at home doing nothing at all. Sure, it makes sense now that I think about it. Doing nothing doesn't put much strain on a person, so while I was still in pain, it was tolerable. It has become increasingly intolerable and I have been in tears several times in the last couple of weeks, due to either the pain, or frustration at never having a moment without pain.
So, I think it is no coincidence that now that I am out and working, and interacting with human beings again, that I am in so much pain. Yesterday proved to be the end of what I could tolerate. I was stirring melted chocolate, making amaretto fudge for our work "End of the World Gorging Party." When switching to my right hand, I felt something "slip" in the middle of my back, on the right. It felt about the same as the time I was reaching for sour cream and likely ruptured the lowest disc in my back, ending up in the ER and down for several days recovering. This time though, the pain was a lot higher.
I doubled over in pain, and it hurt to breathe for a few minutes. Once the pain breathing in subsided, I leaned back up to what I was doing and painfully finished the fudge. With my left hand. My right side under my shoulder hurt to bad, plus I'm left-handed anyway...
The pain didn't lessen as I went about work. I had called the pain management doctor the day before because I was so miserable, and then I do something WORSE! Just by stirring a little melted chocolate. Seriously! Who hurts themselves stirring chocolate?
So, in the midst of all of this, the pain management office called me back. My doctor doesn't want to prescribe me any pain medication without seeing me, since he hasn't seen me since June. Understandable, yes. But the earliest appointment I could get to see him was January 17. I took the appointment of course, and made arrangement to come in to work late that day, but I was holding back tears at work, trying not to think about it all. Then you add the nagging, increasing pain in the middle of my back (which was also moving across towards the front of my upper abdomen) and I was a mess. I yelled at Kris as I was driving back from the chiropractor (I had gotten them to see me last minute over my lunch break). I was so miserable but fortunately, he is a loving and patient man, and he recognized that it was just the pain talking. I was crying on the phone, driving and in pain. We talked about whether or not I should go to the ER after work and have him meet me there.
I was hesitant because I knew Kris wanted a night at home. And so did I. We have been going like crazy, and squeezing in trips to the YMCA, which have been great-I'm swimming and trying to strengthen my shoulders. But the kids are exhausted from too many late nights and early mornings for school. So, knowing that it would be another late night, as I drove back to work, I decided that I was not going to go to the ER at 7:30 at night and ruin the night for everyone, including my mother-in-law, who would be the one to have to watch the kids.
Well, when I got back to work just before 4:30, I noticed that there were NO cars in the parking lot. I was really confused. The building was dark and I thought that maybe the rapture had come, and I wasn't ready...
I saw a coworker at the side door and asked her what had happened. The power had gone out, and not just in our building. I think the crazy 75 mph wind must have knocked something down. No one could work, so they sent everyone home. They didn't tell us until today that no one would get paid for the hours unworked-which really sucks for those of us who work until 7pm. But...while we were told we could make it up today and today only, I am NOT staying at work until 10pm!
Anyway...I thought that not being able to work any more for the day was a good sign that I should just go ahead and go to the ER. So, I drove myself to MO Bap and got checked in. Kris made arrangements for his mom to watch the kids, and drop him off there so that he could drive me home without having to leave a van at the hospital.
Each doctor or nurse I talked to kept asking very specific questions about my pain, my Factor V Leiden, my breathing (which was fine at that point, except every now and then). I didn't think much of it, beyond that it seemed unlike my previous ER visits for pain. Normally, they hook me up to an IV, give me something to relieve the pain, take xrays, put me in a room and tell me it's just muscle spasms. For the record, "just muscle spasms" are a whole lot worse than the ER doctors seem to think. Unless they've had that kind of pain screaming through their bodies, they should just assume it's horrible, not act as if it's no big deal and you're just some junkie looking for a quick fix. The truth is, when the pain is that bad, I AM looking for a quick fix. One or two hours of relief are better than the months I spent trying to tolerate and live with the pain. There is always a worry that when I do break down and go to the ER, about three times a year, I will get a doctor who thinks I'm just making stuff up to get medication. I don't take something that I do not think I need. I do not take medicine just to take it. If I don't need it, I don't take it. But, I digress...
So they were asking me more questions than usual, and I did think that maybe they weren't going to help me. Especially when they gave me a Vicodin to take, instead of hooking me up to an IV. The pill did nothing for the pain. When they asked me an hour later, I told them as much. The nurse said she would see if she could get something else to help ease the pain. They took me for a chest xray, which I thought was odd, since the pain was primarily in my upper back. I've always considered my chest to be...well...my chest...in the front...
Kris arrived shortly before the doctor came in. He was very nice and asked me about the Factor V Leiden (a blood clotting disorder we discovered when I was 19) and whether I was taking any blood thinners or if I had travled recently. I told him I had been lax on taking my baby aspirin a day, and that we had just come back from Indiana.
He went on to tell me that he wanted to do a CT scan.
Wait.
What?
This is NOT what they normally do when I have pain...
I asked him why they needed to do that. He said that they needed to check to see if I had thrown a clot to my lungs! I was in shock. Here I thought I had pulled a muscle or something stirring chocolate, and yet all my symptoms pointed to a blood clot in my lungs! It was a little disconcerting. The CT scan went quickly and they got blood work, in addition to putting Toradol in an IV. It helped by 1-2 degrees.
The doctor came back about an hour later and told us that he was able to rule out a blood clot. Well, that's basically what he said. He said the CT scan machines are very accurate, but there is a 2%ish chance that a clot could have been missed. So he told me to err on the side of caution and come back if I was feeling even a little bad. He said he'd rather have me come in 5 times and rule out a clot in my lungs each time than miss it. I was very impressed with the competency of this doctor and the hospital in general. I was also glad to know what signs could indicate a clot in the lungs, for future reference, should I ever need to know. With Factor V Leiden, there is no way of knowing if you will get a clot, or how many, or anything really...you forget you have it until something like this happens.
All in all, I am blessed. That has not changed. I left with some pain medication and Toradol to take for a few days, and a diagnosis of Pluerisy. It's basically inflammation in the lining of the lungs. It can cause chest pain, and some people feel it in their shoulder...so while I didn't feel it in what I consider to be my chest, I did feel it underneath my shoulder on the right side, on what I consider to be my back, not my chest. And it could be due to a viral infection, but the doctor was clear that if my pain increases or I don't get better, I need to come back to check again for clots.
I've gone on long enough. I cannot wait to share with you what we are doing for Christmas. We got pretty creative and I am both excited and proud of us. But I can't tell you just yet, on the off chance any of my kids read this and find out! Merry Christmas everyone! I've missed you all and I will get back to writing regularly again.
So, I think it is no coincidence that now that I am out and working, and interacting with human beings again, that I am in so much pain. Yesterday proved to be the end of what I could tolerate. I was stirring melted chocolate, making amaretto fudge for our work "End of the World Gorging Party." When switching to my right hand, I felt something "slip" in the middle of my back, on the right. It felt about the same as the time I was reaching for sour cream and likely ruptured the lowest disc in my back, ending up in the ER and down for several days recovering. This time though, the pain was a lot higher.
I doubled over in pain, and it hurt to breathe for a few minutes. Once the pain breathing in subsided, I leaned back up to what I was doing and painfully finished the fudge. With my left hand. My right side under my shoulder hurt to bad, plus I'm left-handed anyway...
The pain didn't lessen as I went about work. I had called the pain management doctor the day before because I was so miserable, and then I do something WORSE! Just by stirring a little melted chocolate. Seriously! Who hurts themselves stirring chocolate?
So, in the midst of all of this, the pain management office called me back. My doctor doesn't want to prescribe me any pain medication without seeing me, since he hasn't seen me since June. Understandable, yes. But the earliest appointment I could get to see him was January 17. I took the appointment of course, and made arrangement to come in to work late that day, but I was holding back tears at work, trying not to think about it all. Then you add the nagging, increasing pain in the middle of my back (which was also moving across towards the front of my upper abdomen) and I was a mess. I yelled at Kris as I was driving back from the chiropractor (I had gotten them to see me last minute over my lunch break). I was so miserable but fortunately, he is a loving and patient man, and he recognized that it was just the pain talking. I was crying on the phone, driving and in pain. We talked about whether or not I should go to the ER after work and have him meet me there.
I was hesitant because I knew Kris wanted a night at home. And so did I. We have been going like crazy, and squeezing in trips to the YMCA, which have been great-I'm swimming and trying to strengthen my shoulders. But the kids are exhausted from too many late nights and early mornings for school. So, knowing that it would be another late night, as I drove back to work, I decided that I was not going to go to the ER at 7:30 at night and ruin the night for everyone, including my mother-in-law, who would be the one to have to watch the kids.
Well, when I got back to work just before 4:30, I noticed that there were NO cars in the parking lot. I was really confused. The building was dark and I thought that maybe the rapture had come, and I wasn't ready...
I saw a coworker at the side door and asked her what had happened. The power had gone out, and not just in our building. I think the crazy 75 mph wind must have knocked something down. No one could work, so they sent everyone home. They didn't tell us until today that no one would get paid for the hours unworked-which really sucks for those of us who work until 7pm. But...while we were told we could make it up today and today only, I am NOT staying at work until 10pm!
Anyway...I thought that not being able to work any more for the day was a good sign that I should just go ahead and go to the ER. So, I drove myself to MO Bap and got checked in. Kris made arrangements for his mom to watch the kids, and drop him off there so that he could drive me home without having to leave a van at the hospital.
Each doctor or nurse I talked to kept asking very specific questions about my pain, my Factor V Leiden, my breathing (which was fine at that point, except every now and then). I didn't think much of it, beyond that it seemed unlike my previous ER visits for pain. Normally, they hook me up to an IV, give me something to relieve the pain, take xrays, put me in a room and tell me it's just muscle spasms. For the record, "just muscle spasms" are a whole lot worse than the ER doctors seem to think. Unless they've had that kind of pain screaming through their bodies, they should just assume it's horrible, not act as if it's no big deal and you're just some junkie looking for a quick fix. The truth is, when the pain is that bad, I AM looking for a quick fix. One or two hours of relief are better than the months I spent trying to tolerate and live with the pain. There is always a worry that when I do break down and go to the ER, about three times a year, I will get a doctor who thinks I'm just making stuff up to get medication. I don't take something that I do not think I need. I do not take medicine just to take it. If I don't need it, I don't take it. But, I digress...
So they were asking me more questions than usual, and I did think that maybe they weren't going to help me. Especially when they gave me a Vicodin to take, instead of hooking me up to an IV. The pill did nothing for the pain. When they asked me an hour later, I told them as much. The nurse said she would see if she could get something else to help ease the pain. They took me for a chest xray, which I thought was odd, since the pain was primarily in my upper back. I've always considered my chest to be...well...my chest...in the front...
Kris arrived shortly before the doctor came in. He was very nice and asked me about the Factor V Leiden (a blood clotting disorder we discovered when I was 19) and whether I was taking any blood thinners or if I had travled recently. I told him I had been lax on taking my baby aspirin a day, and that we had just come back from Indiana.
He went on to tell me that he wanted to do a CT scan.
Wait.
What?
This is NOT what they normally do when I have pain...
I asked him why they needed to do that. He said that they needed to check to see if I had thrown a clot to my lungs! I was in shock. Here I thought I had pulled a muscle or something stirring chocolate, and yet all my symptoms pointed to a blood clot in my lungs! It was a little disconcerting. The CT scan went quickly and they got blood work, in addition to putting Toradol in an IV. It helped by 1-2 degrees.
The doctor came back about an hour later and told us that he was able to rule out a blood clot. Well, that's basically what he said. He said the CT scan machines are very accurate, but there is a 2%ish chance that a clot could have been missed. So he told me to err on the side of caution and come back if I was feeling even a little bad. He said he'd rather have me come in 5 times and rule out a clot in my lungs each time than miss it. I was very impressed with the competency of this doctor and the hospital in general. I was also glad to know what signs could indicate a clot in the lungs, for future reference, should I ever need to know. With Factor V Leiden, there is no way of knowing if you will get a clot, or how many, or anything really...you forget you have it until something like this happens.
All in all, I am blessed. That has not changed. I left with some pain medication and Toradol to take for a few days, and a diagnosis of Pluerisy. It's basically inflammation in the lining of the lungs. It can cause chest pain, and some people feel it in their shoulder...so while I didn't feel it in what I consider to be my chest, I did feel it underneath my shoulder on the right side, on what I consider to be my back, not my chest. And it could be due to a viral infection, but the doctor was clear that if my pain increases or I don't get better, I need to come back to check again for clots.
I've gone on long enough. I cannot wait to share with you what we are doing for Christmas. We got pretty creative and I am both excited and proud of us. But I can't tell you just yet, on the off chance any of my kids read this and find out! Merry Christmas everyone! I've missed you all and I will get back to writing regularly again.
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