BACON

Close friends and family and anyone else who sees my status updates on Facebook know that I love bacon.  I think it is one of the best foods ever created!  Left uncontrolled, I could probably eat an entire pound in one sitting.  I like it that much.  I could eat it every day.  Until my arteries clogged and I died.  I would proudly welcome death by bacon.

So with my love for bacon, and my friends' knowledge of said obsession, people think of me now when they see bacon-related things.  For instance, my friend Jennifer told me a couple of weeks ago about Bacon Cologne. And now, while it's pricey, I'd really like to smell it.  And Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon too apparently both talked about it on their shows.  Here is the video from The Colbert Report about the cologne and all the Denny's new bacon dishes:

Thought For Food

The website describes the Bacon Cologne as "pure essential oil blend of mandarin, bergamot, grapefruit, lemon, nutmeg, pimento berry, black pepper and a touch of sweet, a smidgen of savory, and one pinch of Bacon salty goodness."  I wish I could request a product sample, just to smell it.


Then, not long after, my friend Jaime posted a link on how to make Bacon Roses.  I love that my friends see these things and send them to me.  That day, I posted the following on Facebook:

"I love that my friends keep posting weird things about bacon on my wall.  That's true friendship right there! I think that when I die, I should be buried with a bacon rose made by Jaime and a small bottle of bacon cologne from Jennifer."

Jennifer also said "All I can think about is you writing a blog post or song like "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry, only with a bacon theme to it.  Weird.  Creepy even."  I took that as a challenge - my lyrics aren't great but you will find them below.  It helps to listen to the song while you read my lryics.  Not great lyrics...just me being silly.  Later, in the same thread, my sister was offering lines like "If I die young, bury me in bacon..." and "So put on your best boys, and I'll wear my bacon." and "What I never cooked is fried..." and then "Gather up your pork, keep it your pocket, save it for a time when you're really gonna need it."

Later, another friend posted a picture on my wall of the bacon roses with a different link.  A few days ago my friend Trish said "So I'm at Denny's' right now and I'm so tempted to get the maple bacon sundae!!  Have you had one yet?"  The answer to the question was NO.  But I am very interested in the BBLT...extra bacon on a BLT?  PERFECT!

Another friend, Kim posted a link on my wall about this business these guys started.  They have bacon salt, and even bacon flavored chapstick, though I am not sure I could go for that!

So with all the fun stuff people were posting, including pictures like this from Amanda who captioned it by saying "The things that make me think of you, my dear friend. :)":

...with all of that, I simply changed my status to say "I think I should have a contest to see who sends me the most bizarre bacon-related item/product.  The prize of course would be a lb. of bacon from me, that you have to share with me."

Well, apparently someone took me up on it!  Today when I got home, I had this odd, smallish box from Amazon.com at my door.  The outside said it came from some place called BigFlySports.  I waited until Kris got home, because I didn't remember ordering anything from Amazon.com and certainly not from BigFlySports.  I asked him if he knew anything about it.  He said "no" and so I proceeded to open it.  And then I just laughed and laughed and laughed.  For about 5 minutes.  My kids also laughed and Katherine wanted to open it up and smell it...Here is what I received today:

Bacon Scented Car  Air Freshener

And I have NO idea who sent it to me, so I can't even thank them.  I just think it's hilarious and pretty awesome that I have such cool friends!

Here are the lyrics to my "Bury Me With Bacon" - it's rough, I know...I'm not a song writer!  And I couldn't come up with clever lyrics for each line...

If I die soon, bury me with bacon

Lay me on homemade bacon roses

Sink them in the oil and fry

Send me away with the scent of a warm slice

And whip up an omelet, and eat it in my honor

You'll know I'm still with you when you pair it with some bacon.

A sharp knife makes a short slice.

Three slices of bacon

Goes with eggs and toast

Gather up your pork,

Keep it in your pocket

Save it for a time when you're really gonna need it.

A sharp knife makes a short slice.

Well I've had just enough time

So put on your best bib and fry up some bacon...

**some lyrics courtesy of my sister!**