An honest look at motherhood

I got an email from a friend yesterday that I wanted to share.  It's no secret to those who know me that I don't like to be touched.  Hugging?  No thank you.  I'm very open as well about my struggles with depression over the last decade.  Why?  Why do I have to share my deepest, darkest secrets with the entire internet world?  Well, first of all, if you only knew!  Depression has nothing on my really deep, dark secrets!  Second, if I don't talk about it, who will?  Several other women out there with blogs similar to mine!  Third, who reads this blog anyway?  ;-)

So yesterday I got this email from my friend:

"Odd question for you.  I know you hate people touching you.  Does that extend to your kids?  Because if I am feeling irritated/anxious (which is often) then I don't even like my kids touching me.  Am I the only mother who gets that way?"

The first thing I told her is that I was going to call DFS.

JUST KIDDING!

Seriously though, it's questions like this that remind me how good it is for me to talk about my own struggles.  Because if I didn't, I can guarantee you that my friend would not have felt comfortable discussing such a personal subject with me.  It's terrifying to admit how you really feel, especially as a mother.

And this isn't the only time I've had a friend express concerns over things that I myself struggle with on a far too regular an occasional basis.  I believe that it is essential to be honest about how you are feeling.  It is important for moms to talk about these negative feelings.  Because you know what?  They don't go away.  Burying those negative thoughts and feelings doesn't make them stop.  It just makes your anxiety worse!  And when your anxiety or frustration level is higher, you are not going to be that calm, cool, collected mom you want to be in your head.  That mom you THINK you SHOULD be but feel guilty that you aren't.

I don't mind being that crazy person that makes one person feel less alone.