Why is it that in the midst of trying to read my Bible and spend time with the Lord the children seem like little tools that the devil is using to distract me?? One minute I am reading, the next I am yelling and filled with rage. Then I come back, and I apologize to the kids and begin again. They are actually misbehaving and being disobedient but the degree of my anger, especially as I am reading God's word, is bizarre. How can you feel such drastic things within seconds of each other?? I can think of no other reason, except that Satan doesn't like this new person that I am trying to become. So he uses the most precious ones in my life to throw me off course. Well, I am determined not to let him. May God grant me the strength to continue seeking him and the wisdom to see and prepare for Satan's attacks.
I was able to get something out of what I was reading. I was thinking about reading Jeremiah, but I wanted to read something I hadn't read for a long time--so I chose Lamentations. What a sad book. It paints a vivid picture of how angry God was about the sins of his people. The first thing that struck me was in chapter 1:14. "He wove my sins into ropes to hitch me to a yoke of captivity. The Lord sapped my strength and gave me to my enemies. I am helpless in their hands." A couple of things came to mind here. First of all just that picture of captivity. That is what sin leads us to. God has really been using this picture of slavery and captivity lately to show me the severity of my sins. What a realistic picture of what happens when we continue in sin. And who can ever free themselves from slavery?? No one...people can break out of prison at times, but they are not truly free. The are on the run, constantly afraid of being caught. I think this would be worse--being on the run. At least by being in slavery there is hope of rescue, hope of freedom. The next thing that struck me about this passage was the last part of verse 14, when he writes "I am helpless in their hands." I think that sometimes is EXACTLY where God wants us to be. We will never rely on him or realize our need for him until everything is stripped away, we are in chains, and we see firsthand that there is nothing left that WE can do. At that realization, God can intervene. He can make himself known and show us that while we are helpless, He has power to do amazing things! He will rescues and free us. He will break the yoke of sin that we have been burdened down with and give us freedom!
As a mother, two verses just shocked and appalled me. It was hard to bear the implications of these verses, and I pray that God never again destroys his people as he did the Israelites because of their sin and idolatry.
Lam. 2:20 "O Lord, think about this!" Jerusalem cries. "You are doing this to your own people! Should mothers eat their little children, those they once bounced on their knees?" and
Lam. 4:10 "Tenderhearted women have cooked their own children and eaten them in order to survive the siege."
How terrible!! In 4:10 it portrays the women as tenderhearted, women who would never even think about doing such a horrible thing. This shows such an extreme desperation and hopelessness! That's just awful.
One last note on this book. There was still hope. There was still that glimmer that maybe, just maybe God would still come through for his people. Lam. 3:20-26 "I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still DARE to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day...The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. And it is good for the young to submit to the yoke of his discipline."
Kaleb is making my day. Katherine was really distracting me while I was reading my Bible and I was trying to explain to a 3 year old the need to read the Bible and grow closer to God. Well, Kaleb just went into Katherine's room and found a Bible. He brought it in here to show me that he had a Bible "just like mine." It was cute. And then, as I am sitting here typing I hear him chattering behind me. He is sitting over on the couch, in the same position I was, flipping through the pages of the Bible, telling me he is reading his Bible, just like me!
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