How do you spend your nights?

I am so excited about my night job.  It is so much fun, and the pay isn't bad!  Unfortunately, I can't really be very open on my blog about what I do 5-6 nights out of the month ("facebook me" if you're still curious).  Not for legal reasons.  I'm not selling my body...in case anyone was worried (or interested).  But I'm really excited because this is my best month ever, in 8 years of doing this, and I made almost $1000 this month...and was only gone 5 nights!  I don't know about you, but to me, that's a lot of money!

I'm so much closer to my Evo.  I'm sure you're thinking "An Evo doesn't cost $1000."  Well, technically I only made $913, and I had to buy a new printer and had other expenses that I needed to do my job.  Oh, and I bought some jewelry.  So I have stuff to pay off, but after tithe and taxes...I still might have some "profit"!  Pretty cool!  And next month is looking really great too so I might actually have even MORE profit next month!!!

I know I haven't written consistently.  Because I'm kind of working two jobs now, and I kind of have four kids too.  And I'm so busy that there isn't much funny stuff to tell you.  But I do have a little story for you.  It was really frustrating for me, but I have a feeling you guys will get a good laugh out of it.

Kaleb's third grade class went to the observatory/planetarium Friday night.  Last year, when Kat's class went, Kris had trouble picking her up.  I figured this year would be different.  That it would be better.  Easier somehow.

Kaleb had to be picked up between 9:45 and 10pm.  I got over there around 9:50pm.  Naturally, I parked where all the other cars were.  I got out of my van and headed towards the door.  Well, one of them.  There were at least 10.  I tried the first 3, and all were locked.  I tried a set of six doors. All locked.  Then I walked up to the main entrance of this school where the planetarium is and that door was also locked.

I called the only mother that I had a cell number for.  She said one of the doors was unlocked.  Then she mentioned another mother was there and she would call her.  I actually had the number for that mother, so I sent her a text message.  Oh did I mention yet that I had already been walking around for 20 minutes trying to open any of these doors??  I was getting really frustrated!  The mother finally texted me back and said she was coming to find me.  She finally came out and I told her that NONE of the doors were unlocked.  It was after 10pm at this point, and she started panicking, thinking she wouldn't be able to get back in either!

So we walked over to the door she came out of, and I knew it wasn't going to open.  Because I had tried to open that same door.  And you can guess what happened next.  The freaking door opened!!!!!  So we go to leave and I'm just dumbfounded, because I KNOW I tried to open ALL of the doors.  More than once!

Kaleb then realized he had left his backpack in his friend's van.  And if you know anything about Kaleb, you know we HAD to do everything within our power to get that backpack!  So I texted my friend again and asked her to have the father come out and unlock his van so we could get Kaleb's backpack.  A few minutes later, the father came out of the front door of the building.  Note...this is NOT the same door that the other mother had been able to open.  We got Kaleb's backpack, and I watched the father go back to the front entrance.  And guess what?!?  That door opened too.  WHAT???

I was fuming at this point and just completely perplexed.  I tried ALL the doors.  I SWEAR I DID!!!  They didn't open!  I came home and after telling Kris about it, he just said "Well, maybe you just don't know how to open doors."  Maybe not, jerk.  Maybe not.

They're not as big as they used to be

Wait...

I suppose that title could be taken wrong.

Or misconstrued.

I am not talking about body parts, just to be clear!

I am talking about those Totinos Party Pizzas.  When I was growing up, that was the PERFECT size pizza for a teenager.  I LOVED those pizzas - combination was my "flavor" of choice.  Now that I am all grown up...it seems that the pizzas are getting smaller.

And the biggest problem (there are several) is that as the price continues to go up, I swear the pizza gets smaller.  From this picture, it looks like a reasonably decent size, doesn't it?

But look at this one, with Kris' hand covering it.  It's the size of his hand!!!  And the worst part, HALF of the pizza is TEN Weight Watcher points!  So if I wanted to eat the whole pizza, (which I do) I can't, unless I want to use half of my points for the day.  I find this irritating.  How can a pizza so small "cost" so much, both monetarily and in the WW world?  One of the many stupid things that shouldn't bother me, but does!

St. Louis Weather Update

Some of you know that I live in St. Louis.  I don't know if you have followed any national news at all or heard about the tornados that ripped through the city last night, leaving 700+ homes damaged and the St. Louis Airport closed inedifinitely.  We were blessed and had no damage to our home.  However, there was so much devastation, less than THREE miles from our house.  We live very close to the airport, which was hit hard, as well as Ferguson and Berkley MO.  Our kids go to school in Maryland Heights where the tornados also struck hard.  It really puts things into perspective.

You hear on the news all the time about tornados and other "acts of God" causing destruction and death.  Never before have I heard of tornados going through whole cities, with no fatalities reported.  As far as we know, the injuries reported have been minor.  Several peopl were injured in the airport when the glass started shattering from the windows but even those injuries have not been portrayed as serious.

For me, it's like God has his hand of protection over the entire city of St. Louis.  Through all the damage and destruction, the fact that there were no fatalities or serious injuries is just overwhelming.  I spent a couple of hours today walking through Ferguson taking pictures of the damages.  I *think* you can see these pictures even without a Facebook account or without being my friend.  At least I hope so.  If not, leave your email in the comments and I can email them to you, if you are interested in seeing the damage.

Pictures of St. Louis April 22, 2011 tornado

Best. Wife. Ever.

I know that by now you all know what a kind-hearted, loving wife that I am.  And how I am always praising my husband both here in blog form and to his face.  You know how sweet and even-tempered I am.  You know how many posts I have written about the many awesome things I have said and done to really just build up my husband and validate him as a man.

You also know by now that I am also a liar.  And how I have said such things as "I'm not like you.  I'm not stupid" or "Sometimes I think about coming over there and kissing you, and then I see your face." or "You're horrible at putting things places."  Newer readers...within context those comments aren't nearly as bad as they sound.  I swear!

So...funny story for you...about how *nice* I am.

This segment is called "The Ungrateful Wife".

I've been trying to decide how to tell this story.  Do I begin with the actual facts of what happened?  Or do I tell you MY thought process and Kristopher's interpretation of the situation?

I think I have settled on telling you EXACTLY what happened and then explaining WHY I'm not really as bad as I sound.  Or why I am?  Bottom line:  there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with me!

I love QuikTrip.  I have a bit of a problem.  A serious addiction, really.  I've talked about it before.  It's the Peach White Tea that they keep on tap in the fountain every day, just for me.  Some days, it's pretty bad...I carry my 52 oz cup with me everywhere, filled up with the "good stuff".  I think at it's worst (or best in my opinion!), I have made three stops at the QT fountain within one day.  Because I keep my cup, that comes out to $3.15.  Per day.  If I went every day.  So basically all of my spending money goes to supply my habit.  But most days, I can limit myself to just ONE refill.  MOST days.  And on the rare occasion, I don't even get any tea at all.  VERY RARE.

Contrary to my normal behavior, a few weeks ago I very lovingly encouraged Kris (no sarcasm here for once) to get out of the house.  To take a break from helping me get ready for my parents' imminent arrival into town from my home state of Indiana.  There was much cleaning and laundry that had to be done...and he had had a stressful day (while he was gone I just hid everything downstairs and in my room!).  It was one of my rare moments when I am sincerely, with no sarcasm, serious about being nice to him.

Kris' dad had recently given us some money (a late Christmas present)...and I had told Kris that I wanted to go to the casino.  He said he wanted to go too.  But we had a problem.  Well, we had FOUR problems.  Their names are Katherine, Kaleb, Abbey and Olivia.  ;-)

To solve this problem, I suggested that Kris go by himself to the casino that night, with the understanding that the next night was MINE.  He agreed.  He was gone for a LONG time.  And when he came home that night, through my drug-induced hazy sleep, I heard him say he came home with $30.  At first, I thought he JUST came home with $30.  But I found out the next morning that was not the case...he came home with what he went in with PLUS $30.

So I did what any good, loving wife would do.  I asked him if I could have it.

He said no.

Then he proceeded to tell me that he THOUGHT about buying me a QT gift card, but that it was too late by the time he left the casino.

My thoughts?

#1.  QT is open 24 hours.  It's NEVER too late, even if he was tired.

#2.  It's NOT the thought that counts.  If that gift card is not in my hands, why tell me about it?  Does he not know about me and all my crazy after 12 years?

So a week or so passed.  No gift card.

FINALLY...about two weeks later, we went in to get tea at QT.  He rarely goes in with me, but this time, he followed me in.  I asked him what he was doing.  He said he was coming in with me and I was like "Um...OK."  So I walk in, and then turn to say something (assuming he is following me).  But he was at the counter and he waved me away.  It was clear that I was finally going to get my gift card, which was great timing because I was running out of money and payday was too far off!

I get my tea and he hands me a gift card.  I have no idea how much he put on it, but since we had previously talked about him winning $30, I had it in my head that he was implying that he was planning to buy me a $30 gift card.  It's not my fault that he set a false expectation.

I took the gift card and proceeded to pay for my tea.  They handed the card back to me and told me I had $8.96 left on my card.

And you guys know me.  You know that I am never sarcastic or hateful or anything less than sweet.

So, when we walked out, it should come as no surprise to you that as we were walking out I said "Wow, you were really generous..."

Kris looked at me, taken aback.  I assume he expected to hear the words "thank you" come out of my mouth or something like "you're the best husband ever". Has he never met me?

Likewise, my comment was purely based out of being shocked that he used only $10 of the $30 I expected to "see".  He told me that he used half of his money on me, which I countered by reminding him that he said he won $30.  He just said "Oh yeah..."

We talked about it later, and he gave me his version (which I wanted him to write down so I could share it with you because it was funny and very embellished!).  I explained to him why I was so shocked and explained that it was really his fault for telling me, in the same breath, that he won $30 and thought about buying me a QT gift card.

And for those of you Kris supporters out there, just to be clear, I have since thanked him and truly was grateful for the gift card.  I'm selfish most of the time, but I'm not heartless!  But that gift card did NOT stretch very far...

Have you missed me?

I will write again, some day soon.

When I'm not so tired.

When I'm not so busy.

About bacon.

About Totino's party pizzas and my "issue" with them.

About how grateful I was for the gift card my husband bought me recently, and how he didn't seem to understand how grateful I truly was.

About our inability to keep fish alive - it's a wonder the children are all still healthy and alive.

About the millionth time I've started Weight Watchers and how it's going - first week down two pounds - let's see how long I can stay on it this time.  The proverbial food wagon...

About how great my small business is going right now - though I have to be cryptic about that because there are such strict rules about what you can and cannot put on the internet.  If you friend me on Facebook and want to learn more about my small business, feel free to send me a request - the name can be searched under Jamie Cross Bishop.  Just be sure you send me a message telling me you read my blog.

WHO IS DOING IT??

I get a kick out of little things.

Things like looking at Google Analytics to see how many people have visited my blog, how many repeat visitors I have, what browsers they are using, what devices they are using to view the blog, and how much time is spent on my blog.  It's an obsession.  The weird thing is that while I LOVE that there are people out there who don't know me that find some sort of interest in my crazy life, it's never been about numbers for me.  If you want to read my blog, great!  If not, I'm OK with that.  It's mine and for me and my family.  If I can make you laugh from time to time because I'm a crazy person, well, so be it!

But lately, I have been noticing more and more that apparently (unless Blogger is lying to me) some of you are recommending my blog on Facebook.  I added that button a long time ago, at the end of each post, to recommend on Facebook.  I didn't realize people were actually using it until the other day when I found out that my husband had recommended it on his page.

Now, I find myself looking at that number.  And it makes me wonder if it is lying to me.  I know my friend Nichole recommended the post I wrote about how she is turning me into a girl.  But unless it is one of my friends, I have NO idea WHO IS DOING IT!

Don't get me wrong.  THANK YOU!  But seriously...I have to know.  Are you recommending my blog posts from time to time on Facebook, and if so, I'm just curious, why?  There are some posts where 7-9 people have supposedly recommended it, and I just find it hard to believe, because I was pretty sure only about 4 people actually read this little thing I pretend to call a blog!  ;-)

So, fess up.  Who are you and if you are recommending my blog posts on Facebook, we might as well take the first step towards being Facebook friends.  Because you're very appreciated in my book.  So, if it's you, connect with me on Facebook (because I'm there...a lot...).  Even if you aren't recommending the posts, but want to connect via Facebook, send me a friend request (to my actual page, not my blog page).  Just tell me that you read my blog, so I know you're not some crazy person trying to send me spam or porn or some other nonsense.

You can find me on Facebook here.  I look forward to finding out which of you are making my day and fueling my obsession!

Poor sportsmanship

Here is a little tidbit of information you may not have known.

No girl is too young for "catty-ness".  I learned this yesterday.

Katherine is playing basketball in a spring league.  These are fourth grade girls.  Approximately ages 10 and 11.  So, you would think that they would not yet have learned to be as catty as grown women.  And yet, somehow, there are some girls within this age range that do or say things that are appalling.

I was really angry yesterday.  I'm not angry today, but still appalled at something that happened after Kat's game yesterday.

Let me start of by saying that Kat's team won, and while she only played a few minutes, she was guarding her girl CONSTANTLY and never gave her a chance to get the ball.  It of course was a proud mom moment.  The girls played hard, and they won, by I think 5 points or so.  It wasn't a huge point difference and both teams played hard, and played well.

So, I was shocked, to say the least, when after the game Kat whispered something that had happened to her.

Apparently, when they were going by and "high-fiving" each other, as they always do after a game, this same little girl that Kat was guarding walked by and whispered "Loser" in her ear.  And maybe you're thinking "What? Are you serious?"  Because that is what I was thinking.

But wait...it gets worse.

Not only did she call my daughter a loser (which she clearly wasn't since they won but I won't go into her confusion on what a loser was...), when they passed by to high five, she dug her fingernails into Katherine's hand!!!!

WHAT???

So I'm not happy.  What mother would be??

But wait...it's even worse than that.

Katherine wasn't the only girl this happened to on our team.  At least 1 or 2 other girls received the exact same "clawing" and being called a loser!  One girl had skin pulled back because of this girl's fingernails!  It seems to primarily have happened to the girls that were guarding #50.  That's right...I'm calling out #50.

Who does that?  Katherine would be in some serious trouble if I found out she did something like that.  I was appalled!!!  And it leaves me thinking "Where does a 10 year old learn that kind of behavior?"  I'm not saying the coach or the girl's parents approve of her behaving that way, but what I am saying is that I just do not understand why that little girl would act that way (it seems kind of extreme) and seem to think that her behavior was acceptable.  And perhaps she knew it was wrong...but she still did it.

Did I mention that this is a Catholic league?  I'm not saying that private Catholic/Christian schools won't have students who aren't kind and sportsman-like.  But you would think that there would be a higher standard.

What do you think?  Am I justified in being angered by this?

If you really knew me

#3. If you really knew me...

...you would know that I am so NOT a girly girl.

Much like Pinnochio, I've been a puppet.  For years. Most of my life, really.  Never being one to conform just because everyone else is, I did not wear makeup in high school.  I did not wear dresses unless forced to by my mother or an obligation depending on which church I went to.  I didn't wear jewelry.  When Kris and I got engaged, I told him 1/5 of a carat would do for my engagement ring.  He didn't listen, and bought me a 1/4 carat...but he knew better than to go higher than that because #1.  He couldn't afford it.  #2.  He knew that I was not into jewelry, especially the big, flashy, kind.

Over the years, I've tried to tug on my puppet strings a bit and break out of my tomboy ways.  I'd wear makeup from time to time.  I'd put on a skirt/dress.  Primarily because I was pregnant every summer for several years in a row and let's face it...when you're hot AND pregnant, you'll pretty much do whatever you can to stay cool.  With regards to makeup, I'd wear it for a couple of days and then revert back to my "I'm so thankful I have a face that doesn't need makeup" attitude.  Well, some days it was that.  Some days it was "I am so NOT going to take the time and effort for that girly nonsense!"

But now, the day has come.  The day that my magical fairy grants me a wish and I am no longer a puppet.  I am a REAL girl!  I am not sure how I feel about this though.

You see...for quite some time now (MONTHS!), I have been wearing makeup.  I keep it in the van and put it on before I go into work or church or wherever.  That's the only way it gets on my face.   I can't explain it.  Well, I probably could, but it's really boring and stupid and so let's just leave at "I put it on in my van."

And then, my friend Nichole decided to start a business.  A jewelry business.  A Premium Jewelry business.  And because I'm pretty much the best friend ever, I BEGGED her to let me have a show for her!  What with my love for jewelry and all.  Wait...that's not quite how it happened.   Oh that's right...she asked me if I would host a party for her and I agreed.  Because I am still pretty much the best friend ever.  But I wasn't that thrilled about the product itself...being that I am NOT a jewelry person.  So Nichole came over, did her presentation and showed us all the jewelry...and I found that it all was quite beautiful.  And as long as I was getting free jewelry...I could maybe try wearing it.  I thought it would stop there.

I thought I'd get a few pieces and probably forget to wear them.  And then, at Kohl's the other day, I ashamedly caught myself holding jewelry in my hand, thinking about purchasing it!  I immediately texted Nichole, demanding to know what she had done to me!  She corrupted me.  And now I wear something and think "I need some jewelry to go with that."  What is wrong with me???

When my jewelry actually arrived yesterday, I was like a little girl at Christmas, like I am whenever I get any new Pampered Chef item!  And guess what I'm wearing today!?!  Makeup, earrings AND a necklace. 

*gasp*

Imagine that...Jamie is finally growing up...

My mind, face and wardrobe are all confused!

Afraid

What are you afraid of?

Animals?  Germs?  Commitment?  Cabbage Patch Kids?

Mice don't really scare me...though I do despise them.  I also hate squirrels...they are evil and expensive to expel from your home.  I should have just fed them and kept them as pets.  But again, they do not scare me.  Cockroaches, while completely disgusting, do not terrify me.  They do however creep me out!!  I never minded the crickets that occupied our home for a while.  I just disagreed with their "religion" and refused to let them run their cult out of my home.

Here are some things that DO scare me:

People.  I don't like 'em.  95% of them are idiots.  If you are reading this, likely you are in the 5% that I do not consider idiots!  Because we all know that anyone who reads this lovely little blog of mine is certainly NOT an idiot.

Hugging.  Yeah...you know how I feel about that.  Mom and Dad...I don't mind hugging you!  Or you Jennifer Young, but only when we haven't seen each other for a while.

The dark.  That's right.  I'm a 32 29 year old woman afraid of the dark.  I'm like a child.  And yet I have no sympathy when my children tell me they are afraid of the dark.  My fear isn't rational, especially when you couple that with the fact that I also fear that in this darkness someone is going to rape and then kill me.  Yes...this is what is in my crazy head.  I think about this way more than I should!

My husband dying and leaving me alone to raise four children on my own.  And we do all know that he has promised me he is not going to die any time soon, but it still scares me.

And while I play out my husband dying, another fear creeps in.  A fear that if he does die while the kids are still young, no one will want to marry me.  Who wants an insta-family?  Not very many people.  I have absolutely no experience with dating and I'm pretty sure that no one else would put up with all the crazy that Kristopher puts up with!  And there is A LOT of crazy in this head of mine!!!

Losing a child.  I cannot even begin to imagine what that is like and don't want to ever find out. EVER.

Laundry.  Yes, laundry.  I mean, who isn't??

Pain.  I'm afraid of pain.  In terms of dying.  I am not afraid of dying.  I am just afraid that it will hurt.  That I'll get shot or be tortured (by that person who waits in the dark to rape and kill me), or that I'll drown or be strangled.  I would prefer to die peacefully in my sleep.  I get anxious when I think about pain that may be associated with dying.

This has all turned very morbid hasn't it?  It's probably because I am writing this at 2:45AM because I can't sleep.  And these are the thoughts that spill out when the day is done and I am left to my own thoughts!

What is your biggest fear?

A new bedtime idea

My friends are so much cleverer than I am.  On Friday, I wrote about how much I hate bedtime.  I posted a link to that on Facebook this morning.  One friend explained that when her kids go to bed happy, they do not go to sleep right away, but if they are mad or upset, they pass right out!  So I started thinking that maybe perhaps making the children cry each night at bedtime might be really good for everyone.  I mean...it will be good for the kids, because they will fall asleep sooner, thus giving them the rest they really need, so that they are less cranky the next day.  And it will be good for Kris and I, because our voices will no longer be hoarse from yelling at them to get back in bed, and it will allow us to spend more quality time together without the constant interruption of a child with some bizarre excuse as to why they just NEED to get up.

So I was pondering this, and then another friend, also much more clever/cleverer (Shawn Spencer would say "I've heard it both ways.") commented "So the poem about the woman who lives in a shoe is really starting to make sense now..."  Of course, I only remembered the first two lines, so I had to look it up...and I am convinced now that not much has changed since this was written in 1794.  Check it out:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

C'mon people!  217 years ago it was a good way to keep the children in line at bedtime.  Perhaps we should go back to this old nursery rhyme.  I think this is some sound advice, with regards to a bedtime routine.  What do you think?  Who's with me?  Likely NOT Super Nanny or Social Services.

General Hospital

How many of you out there watch a soap opera?

A long time ago...when I was in high school...I wanted to watch General Hospital.  My mom didn't want us watching it...but sorry mom...sometimes we would sneak and watch it when we got home from school.  In college, I never had time to watch it.  But after I had Katherine and was home during the day all the time, I started watching it again.

First of all, it amazes me that you can go YEARS without watching a show and then within 2 episodes be caught back up.

What is it about soap operas?  The acting is typically horrible.  The storyline is replayed over and over again.  Characters die.  But then wait...they're not really dead.  Oh wait....yes they are.  That's just their twin.  Wait...now it's the real person and the twin is the psychopath.  And it goes like this over and over again.

Or how about the fact that everyone is related in one way or another.  Sonny, on General Hospital, has sired at least 27 children, hasn't he?  And the women he hasn't impregnated, he has slept with.  And Brenda?  She was dead several times.  Sonny's wives always die or divorce him.  How many wives have they killed off for that guy?  And the amount of divorces on that show...it's just so unrealistic.

And yet...I'm drawn in.  Every time.  I don't have Tivo or DVR, so I can't save shows to watch later.  If it doesn't  come on Hulu.com, I don't watch it.  And then, about 2 months ago, I saw that it was finally on Hulu.  So I have started watching it again, and while so stupid with horrible acting, I'm once again drawn in, and every Friday I'm left wondering what will happen next week!

So, what is it?  Why are soap operas as intriguing as they are?  Why?

Oh and my last question is this:

Will Sonny ever age?  I mean, he looks exactly the same as he looked 18 years ago!  No younger, no older.  It's like the man doesn't change at all.

Bedtime, how I despise you...

Have I ever told you how much I HATE bedtime?  Hate isn't even a strong enough word for it.  The kids seem intent on sending me into a fit of rage.  Every. Single. Night.  It's maddening!!

Common excuses, most of which I am sure all parents have all heard:

5 minutes in:

"I can't sleep."
My response: You haven't even TRIED! It's only been 5 minutes!!"

"I'm thirsty" or "I need a drink."
My response: Whatever.  Hurry up.

"I need to go potty."
My response:  Go.  Just hurry up.

10 minutes in:
"I forgot to brush my teeth."
My response:  Too bad.  You should have done that 20 minutes ago when I told you to get ready for bed.
Their further response: But then my teeth won't be clean.
My further response:  Not my problem.

"My belly hurts."
My response:  Do you feel like you're going to throw up?
Their further response (ALWAYS): Yes.
My response:  Don't you DARE throw up!  You get a bucket and you lay back down.  If you are going to throw up, you throw up in the bucket!!!  And you'd better not throw up!

20 minutes in:

"I forgot to tell you something...(long pause while I sit there looking extremely annoyed)...I love you."

My response:  I love you too.  Now go to bed and don't get up again!

"My elbow hurts." (Elbow can be substituted with knee, toe, finger, head, eyeball, spleen, etc...)
My response: Well, go to sleep and if it is still hurting in the morning, I'll look at it.


"I need a bandaid for my boo boo."
My response: Let me see it.  (I investigate)  You do not.  I can't even see anything. Back to bed.


"The TV is too loud."
My response: Shut your door.


"(insert name of any child here) won't stop talking so I can't go to sleep."
My response:  Shut your door if you don't want to hear it.


"I'm scared of the dark."
My response:  No you're not.  Get in bed right now or I will shut your door and then you'll really be scared of the dark!


1 hour in:


If I hear anything at this point, which is about once or twice a week, I simply throw my hands up in the air and scream an exasperated "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"


*sigh*


I know that all too soon my children will grow up and move on with their lives and that as everyone says I "should cherish these moments."  


You know what my response is to that?  


Why don't you come over every night for the next ten years and go right ahead and cherish it while I lock myself in my room, curl up into the fetal position and wonder why on earth I thought having kids was a good idea.


All I do want to do practically every night occasionally is yell SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! say calmly "It's time for bed now kids. Please close your eyes and mouths and go to sleep."