Three years ago tomorrow...

...I was in the hospital giving birth to my beautiful, curly-haired Olivia Morgan. My 'baby' will be three tomorrow. And true to form it is going to be a unique birthday. That girl, much like Abbey Rose marches to the beat of her own drum! It might seem strange to some, but in our family, the plans for tomorrow are perfectly normal and didn't surprise any of us, though we were very amused at the thought.

Ok, ever since she could EAT...Livvy has LOVED LOVED LOVED cereal. Any kind. She just loves cereal. She would eat it for every single meal if allowed. She would eat it for dessert. She just loves to eat cereal. It's really funny. It doesn't matter-no matter what-if you ask her what she would like to eat, 9 time out of 10 she will tell you cereal. The girl LOVES her cereal! All that being said, our fancy birthday dinner tomorrow night to celebrate our little one's 3rd birthday will consist of...

CEREAL
and...
CAKE.

I couldn't be more thrilled! Given that I struggle to cook most days anyway, I am loving that my baby wants cereal for her birthday dinner. She chose Rice Krispies as her cereal of choice. Isn't that funny? The cake is baking now--just a plain boxed yellow cake mix with chocolate frosting. Ahh...I love it!

Today was a good day. Aside from being completely cloudy from all the rain, the temperature was close to perfect!! I really wish I had GOOD windows in my house that I could open to let the air circulate. My windows either do not have screens, or just aren't where you need them to be to enjoy the beautiful, crisp, fall air. Some day...

Let's take a little trip down memory lane...

Not so sure about this whole school bus thing

I interacted with another human being tonight. It was nice.

I hardly ever get outside of my home anymore unless I am working. But one of the only neighbors I like was outside on her swing tonight so I decided to go chat with her for a few minutes. We had a nice conversation and then her daughter started talking about something my son did on the bus this morning.

I wasn't there, so I don't know the whole story, but I listened to the girl and later confirmed with Kaleb that it had happened. Apparently there were two older boys-5th grade possibly-who were telling Kaleb to touch this little girl in inappropriate places. And my son desperately longing to fit and being 'silly' went against what he knew was right and did what they told him to do.

This upsets me. On so many different levels. First of all, why are these other kids even thinking about that? Second, why are they trying to entice a FIRST GRADER to participate? Third, why is MY son listening to them? Fourth...I could go on and on...

I talked to Kaleb about it-told him up front he wasn't in trouble but I wanted him to tell me the truth. He told me they told him to hit this girl and I kept pressing him and he told me what I already heard from the little girl. We talked about it and I told him it worried me that he listened to those boys and that I know he wants to fit it and make friends but those are the kind of people I want him being influenced by. He listened and nodded and seemed to really take in what I was saying.

And then he made me very proud. He suggested (all on his own) that he should sit up in the front of the bus, even though that would mean he couldn't sit with Katherine and her friend Rebecca because they always sit in the back. I thought that was a great suggestion and the fact the he had that idea all on his own really made me proud. He was thinking ahead! He was trying to figure out how he could avoid the situation! What a good boy. I told him I would talk to Katherine about sitting up front, even if it meant that Rebecca didn't sit with her, though I would hope that Rebecca would still sit with Katherine. So Kris and I are going to talk to the kids to re-emphasize that what was happening was not right and Kris will stay down at the bus stop to make sure all three of our kids sit near the front of the bus.

Cops and Robbers. Fairies and Indians. Same difference.

Today was an absolutely CRAZY (there's my favorite word again...) day at work. I worked on the same problem claim for over 2 hours today (more mentally). It was really draining (I've decided to put lots of things in parentheses today apparently!).
And then I stepped outside. Oh the weather! Perhaps it was a little dreary. Perhaps it was wet and rainy. Perhaps most people would have rather been inside. But something about the weather today lifted my heart. I thought it was just the PERFECT temperature. I'm not sure it really got much above 70 degrees today and the fact that there was a nice breeze and the sun was nowhere in sight made me long for FALL! It was like a fall day today and I could feel the difference. I could feel the weight of the last several weeks lift from me. I felt so strange...so...good! It's a rare feeling.

I was eager to DO something today. This is a good thing. If you know nothing about depression, know that those caught in the claws of it find it extremely difficult to do normal everyday things. Getting out of bed is difficult. Taking a shower is difficult. Cooking is difficult. 'Dealing' with anything at all is difficult. Living life in general is just extremely difficult. Lately I've struggled to do anything I normally do. Grocery shopping for example. I hadn't gone to the grocery store in oh, maybe 5 weeks. I used to go every week to two weeks. We were down to ice and a couple of frozen corn dogs. It was pretty bad. We had been eating out a lot. The other day though Kris and I took all the kids and finally got groceries! I suggested to Kris that we get a lot of 'easy' meals because I didn't want to spend our money on hamburger and chicken and things like that that only I knew how to cook, on the off chance that I didn't 'feel' like cooking. So we bought a lot of frozen things, lunchables for the kids, pizzas. It's pathetic I know-but it's the reality of where I am at right now. Kris has had to shoulder quite a bit lately.

Where was I going with all that? Oh yeah...the beautiful (to me anyway) fall weather we had this afternoon. Because I actually felt like doing something, I decided to take advantage of that and when the older kids got home from school we loaded up and drove to Dollar Tree. This wasn't in the original plans-the original plan was to go get a Redbox movie (I had a free coupon) for family movie night, which we try to do on a weekly basis. Kaleb still had $10 birthday money and he wanted to take that with him, so I decided I felt up to taking my kids to Dollar Tree. Kaleb said everyone could spend $2. The boy is SO possessive of his 'stuff' including money, but he is SO generous at the same time.

Here's my theory with Dollar Tree. Well it's probably not technically a theory or anything but who cares. This is my blog and I'll call it whatever I want! ;-) Kris and I decided a couple of years ago it was pointless to waste our money on expensive toys that will just get broken, lost, or remain 'unplayed' with. We decided to start doing the majority of our Christmas and birthday shopping at Dollar Tree. The kids are young enough that they still really LOVE the toys from Dollar Tree and we will get away with it for as long as they will let us!
So the kids all found themselves some 'treasures' at Dollar Tree today and I have pictures below of my beautiful fairies and my little Indian. After Dollar Tree I took the kids to Sonic for a little snack and slushes, then we headed to get the movie from Redbox. When we got home we actually cleaned up the living room, which has also been extremely difficult for me lately. But I propped my front door open (don't ask-it needs replaced) so the breeze could come in and we set to work. It was the first 'real' work I've done around the house in WAY TOO LONG! Kris loaded the dishwasher for me when he got home and I even managed to bake some cookies. Baking is a cook sign in the change in my moods! I think Kris was pleased with the 'new' me (or perhaps it is truly the 'real' me), however short-lived it may be. I know the kids benefited and saw a difference! It felt good to enjoy them today. We watched "Nim's Island" for movie night, which turned out to be a fairly enjoyable movie. Then the kids went to bed and here I am. I primarily wanted to put the pictures of my adorable kids on here-but felt you needed an extremely long explanation for the pictures. Most things are cheap and break easily from Dollar Tree but if you need some GREAT fairy wings, I suggest $1 at Dollar Tree! Every little girl will LOVE them and they are actually quite impressive on the quality!

They won't stay young forever...

My kids are growing up. I realize this. Kaleb just turned 7. Katherine is STILL 7 for another month and a half. Nice, huh? Abbey is going on 6 in October and Livvy will be 3 next week. How fast the years fly by. My baby...isn't a baby anymore and hasn't been for quite some time, and yet that's how I still refer to her when talking to people. I have to pick up the baby, or the baby is sick, or the baby is at school. Ok...since when do actual babies go to school? That should be a good indicator that I need to break this habit I have of always calling her 'the baby'.

What prompted this was thinking about how excited my kids always seem to get when I walk in the door. It's the same with Kris-it's not like I'm just the coolest, nicest mom ever-FAR FROM IT!! If I come home from work, or if I have been gone for a few hours, the kids run to the door screaming 'Mommy! Mommy!' and it reminds me that I can't be doing a horrible job raising them. Abbey and Livvy I think capture my heart the most with this. They are still just so excited...beyond excited really. I LOVED picking the kids up from Grace last year because EVERY day, no matter what, Abbey would take off running the minute she saw me, screaming 'Mommy! Mommy!' and give me a hug.

This year, for the most part, Kris drops Livvy off and picks her up at preschool. But today I had the priviledge of picking her up. When I walked in, she was busy playing (unsupervised by the way which concerned me but I am choosing not to blog about tonight beyond this run on sentence). She kept on playing while all these others kids just stared at me...and I just watched her for a couple of minutes. Finally, I said "Olivia..."

And there it was. Her face lit up, her eyes grew wide and she took off running towards me screaming 'Mommy! Mommy!'. I swept her up into my arms and hugged her. It was a great 'mom moment' for me. I needed that after this crazy "kids-still-sick week". Of course the moment didn't last too long because as soon as I put her in the Explorer she said "Why is Daddy not in here?" Oh well...it was great while it lasted.

This whole thing makes me realize a day will come when my kids will cease being THAT excited to see me. They will inevitable become more independent, more distant, and less excited to see me. Hopefully it will just be your normal teenage phases and we will come away from those trying years close and connected. It's little moments like that though that remind me to slow down and enjoy these years now. I can already see Katherine and Kaleb becoming more independent and before long they will all four be entering those crazy pre-teen and teenage years. I have to savor these moments because they will not always be there.

Um....why?

I guess I have no right to complain. I mean, I am the one (with the assistance of my husband of course) who had four children. I SHOULD have known that 4 kids means 4 times the sickness and trials. But can we not catch a break? I mean, REALLY!

Ok, Livvy was released from the hospital two weeks ago yesterday. Last Monday night, Abbey was sick, throwing up during the night and kept home from school on Tuesday. Kaleb got sick Friday night into Saturday, which also happened to be his birthday. We had planned to go camping for his birthday. When everyone woke up Saturday morning and found out he had been sick and we weren't going camping, there was quite a bit of disappointment in our home. Kaleb even said sadly "So I'm not going to see Grandpa Ken on my birthday?" Well, wanting the kids to still get to enjoy what we had planned for Kaleb's birthday we made it through the morning and lunch without Kaleb getting sick again. So we decided it would be ok to go ahead and take the kids an hour and a half out to St. James where our friends were camping.

We had a nice time out there. Kris' dad (Grandpa Ken) brought a cake over and we celebrated Kaleb's 7th birthday and he got to play with his friends. He didn't eat much and seemed a little worn out from time to time but for the most part, he was fine. And then, around 11:30 pm...he threw up again. After almost 24 hours NOT throwing up...

We decided it would be best to get all the kids up and in the van and drove back home and got in around 2:30am Sunday morning. We hung out at the house all day and waited for the next kid to get sick. We didn't have to wait long-Katherine started throwing up Sunday night/Monday morning. More resting at the house yesterday and we went a whole night with no one throwing up.

When my phone rang at work this afternoon, though I didn't recognize the number, something (mother's intuition?) told me that it was either Armstrong Elementary or Livvy's school. It was Armstrong. Kaleb had an accident and his stomach was hurting him. And could I come and pick him up? Oh sure...I mean, it's not like no one has been sick for the last two weeks. Wait...it's exactly like that!

So Kaleb and I are sitting at home now watching a HORRIBLE claymation version of Hansel and Gretel. And to top it all off, Livvy hasn't even gotten this round yet...and Kaleb can't go back to school tomorrow. So Kris and I are really hoping that if Livvy is gonna get it she gets it today or during the night since he is planning to stay home tomorrow anyway! I am a little worried about Kaleb since he has basically been sick with some stomach bug since Friday night. The girls only had it for about 12 hours. He's going on 4 days now. If he isn't better tomorrow I suppose I should call the doctor.

*sigh*