Looks can be deceiving. Strong people can actually be ready to fall apart inside, and you just don't see it. I just want to put that out there. Just because someone seems strong doesn't mean they are. Some people have to be strong to get through the rough times. But when no one is looking, they're just like the rest of us. They are sad. They are weak. They are tired. They are human and they need just as much compassion and support as the next person. Don't be deceived by that person you see as "strong". Sometimes they are just as scared and alone as you are.
I'm tired. Thanksgiving wasn't as calm and relaxing as I pictured it in my head. I'm not going to go into the details. I was so happy to be in Indiana with my family and there were many blessings and "you were in the right place at the right time" moments. It just was...draining. Prayer warriors out there, please pray for my family. God knows what the exact issues are and what they need.
I've really gotten lazy at posting all the hilarious things my kids say. They haven't stopped being funny. I've just not felt like writing. I've been kind of in a low place for the last couple of months and it seems to gradually get worse. My anxiety is back in full force and is currently not being treated. Probably not a good idea but it's where I'm at right now.
Kris and I have now completed 3 weeks on Weight Watchers. The weight loss is slow going but I think we will have done OK over the holiday-i.e. I think/hope we didn't gain more than a pound or two!! We definitely had some "relaxed" days last week! But all in all I think we did well (we'll "weigh in" in the morning). It's always easier to stick to your weight/eating goals when you are home and not travelling!
My Christmas tree is now up! We only have this year's ornaments on it so far. I'm hoping to snap some pictures after my camera charges. For those of you who are new to this blog, every year our biggest family tradition is purchasing a new ornament for our tree. Each of us. We pick out our own, one that symbolizes who we are, as in individual. It usually depicts something that we enjoy doing, or a movie we loved that year. Sadly they do not have any Elf (the movie) ornaments or I would have been all over those! :-) And this is how we fill our tree. We now have a large collection of ornaments, seeing as there are 6 of us. Kris and I each have 12, Katherine 11, Kaleb 10, Abbey 9, and Olivia 6. They LOVE looking at THEIR ornaments that they chose. Livvy walked by the tree tonight, looked at her ornament and smiled. I wouldn't trade that smile for anything because I know that she LOVES her ornament and will have awesome memories of this family tradition!
I know I was a bit random tonight. Part of it is just that I haven't written for a while, but a large part is due to the fact that I'm just in this mood. Not depressed. But not not-depressed. Does that make sense? Some days I feel so gloomy. Earlier this evening I was having a real issue with being touched. The kids were sitting next to me and brushing against my arm. Kris put his hand on my arm. There are some days I can take it but then there are other days like today where I just want to scream and go off by myself for a while. *sigh*
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Never enough time
It's driving me nuts that I never have the time to write like I used to, or like I want to. Some days I am so exhausted by the end of the day that the last thing I want to do is write. It's now Sunday morning and I SHOULD be getting ready for church. Yet here I sit, taking a few moments to post a few updates.
On the church front, I have been trying out a different church. I LOVE it! Thanks to my parents, we were able to put the kids in Awanas on Tuesday nights there. And then while Kris is at a men's Bible study, I have been attending a community group. The people are amazingly nice and have made me feel at home there.
Katherine and Kaleb are FINALLY interested in playing basketball! SO.EXCITED. I love basketball. Kaleb has played soccer, and I'm so NOT a soccer mom! No other sport interests me like basketball. Perhaps it's because I was raised in Indiana, and it just makes sense that I would love basketball. Perhaps it's because basketball is just so much more exciting than soccer or (dare I say this in St. Louis) baseball! Either way, I get to watch my kids learn the game and hopefully have a lot of fun. Abbey, who isn't quite old enough yet, has been wanting to play basketball for a couple of years. She'll get to join the crowd next year, once she hits third grade. I'm excited to see if the kids "take" to it!
I've been keeping it somewhat quiet, because I seem to fail so often, but I am doing Weight Watchers again. And guess what?!? Kris is doing it with me! He's not a heavy guy really, but he has put on some weight and HE isn't happy about it. So he has finally agreed to give it a try with me. It makes a HUGE difference. He's much more disciplined than I am, and he is helping me stay on track. I can lie to myself about what I've eaten, but not him. So I have hopes that this time around (just like every other time...) I will stick with it and see the success I saw after I had Olivia. The first week we were both down 2 lbs. We don't weigh in until Tuesday, so nothing is "official" until then, but I am currently down 6 lbs. in almost 2 weeks. We aren't paying for the program...I've done it so often in the past that I kinda remember. You know? And there are so many references out there to calculate the calories, fat and fiber that we have all the info we need. We even have this awesome Android app that does all the tracking for us. So I am hopeful that we can do this. I'll admit that Thanksgiving worries me. You combine Thanksgiving with my love for food...and well...it might be a little difficult. BUT...we have a plan and I think we'll be OK.
Well, that's all the updates for now. Hopefully I'll have some time to write this next week. I'm only working on Monday, then making the trek home to my parents' house, to make Thanksgiving dinner out there. Kat, Abbey and I will leave on Tuesday morning so we have time to get everything prepped and ready (and just to have some down time!). Kris, Kaleb and Olivia will come out with Kris' mom Wednesday evening.
On the church front, I have been trying out a different church. I LOVE it! Thanks to my parents, we were able to put the kids in Awanas on Tuesday nights there. And then while Kris is at a men's Bible study, I have been attending a community group. The people are amazingly nice and have made me feel at home there.
Katherine and Kaleb are FINALLY interested in playing basketball! SO.EXCITED. I love basketball. Kaleb has played soccer, and I'm so NOT a soccer mom! No other sport interests me like basketball. Perhaps it's because I was raised in Indiana, and it just makes sense that I would love basketball. Perhaps it's because basketball is just so much more exciting than soccer or (dare I say this in St. Louis) baseball! Either way, I get to watch my kids learn the game and hopefully have a lot of fun. Abbey, who isn't quite old enough yet, has been wanting to play basketball for a couple of years. She'll get to join the crowd next year, once she hits third grade. I'm excited to see if the kids "take" to it!
I've been keeping it somewhat quiet, because I seem to fail so often, but I am doing Weight Watchers again. And guess what?!? Kris is doing it with me! He's not a heavy guy really, but he has put on some weight and HE isn't happy about it. So he has finally agreed to give it a try with me. It makes a HUGE difference. He's much more disciplined than I am, and he is helping me stay on track. I can lie to myself about what I've eaten, but not him. So I have hopes that this time around (just like every other time...) I will stick with it and see the success I saw after I had Olivia. The first week we were both down 2 lbs. We don't weigh in until Tuesday, so nothing is "official" until then, but I am currently down 6 lbs. in almost 2 weeks. We aren't paying for the program...I've done it so often in the past that I kinda remember. You know? And there are so many references out there to calculate the calories, fat and fiber that we have all the info we need. We even have this awesome Android app that does all the tracking for us. So I am hopeful that we can do this. I'll admit that Thanksgiving worries me. You combine Thanksgiving with my love for food...and well...it might be a little difficult. BUT...we have a plan and I think we'll be OK.
Well, that's all the updates for now. Hopefully I'll have some time to write this next week. I'm only working on Monday, then making the trek home to my parents' house, to make Thanksgiving dinner out there. Kat, Abbey and I will leave on Tuesday morning so we have time to get everything prepped and ready (and just to have some down time!). Kris, Kaleb and Olivia will come out with Kris' mom Wednesday evening.
I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving! I'm looking forward to the time off work, the food (OH THE FOOD!) and the fellowship with my side of the family.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Impressed by an 8 year old
Yesterday we found out at church that it was the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. They showed a video at the church we visited and Kris and I were both moved by it. In the bulletin, they included a little sheet with a few passages in the Bible you could read and prayer guide. Kris decided we would do that with the kids last night for devotions. So we tried to find the video we watched in church on YouTube. They didn't have it, but they did have this one:
So we watched this with the kids and then read through the Bible verses that were in the bulletin and had each of the kids pray. It was so sweet to hear their prayers. As always, Abbey melted my heart and made me tear up. She just talked to God about how sad it was that these people were hurt and prayed that God will heal them and keep them from being hurt again.
True to her wonderfully sensitive and sweet nature, Abbey surprised us tonight by adding another prayer in for the people in other countries who are suffering! I love that she was thinking about that and remembered to pray for them!
So we watched this with the kids and then read through the Bible verses that were in the bulletin and had each of the kids pray. It was so sweet to hear their prayers. As always, Abbey melted my heart and made me tear up. She just talked to God about how sad it was that these people were hurt and prayed that God will heal them and keep them from being hurt again.
True to her wonderfully sensitive and sweet nature, Abbey surprised us tonight by adding another prayer in for the people in other countries who are suffering! I love that she was thinking about that and remembered to pray for them!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Yoga-not for the easily annoyed
My primary doctor's solution to my neck pain is to get this Yoga for Beginners video that focuses on yoga as a way to reduce stress and relax. Here's my problem. The first half of the video was advertisments for yoga magazines and healthy eating/living. And as I keep watching, waiting for my video on stress relief to start, I found myself getting more and more agitated and stressed out! How is that helpful?? Now the video is about to begin and I must now try to relax and see if yoga will be the magic healer for my non-stop neck pain. I am WAY too annoyed for this relaxing yoga video!! Now there is just some lady walking in the dessert and a voice-over talking about yoga and the divine and blah blah blah...just start the stress-relieving poses please! And she is now doing yoga poses...instead of showing me what to do. How is this helpful? I suppose putting the computer down and focusing on the stupid video might help...
You know what, I want to see a video of a fat girl doing yoga so that I don't have to be so self-conscious and feel completely incompetent since I cannot literally fold my body in half. Maybe this fat girl should create a yoga video for other fatties out there so we can feel better about our inability to realistically complete half of these poses. This is ridiculous. They aren't even telling me how to do it. What a waste of $10! The Wii Fit is more helpful in teaching me how to do yoga.
Oh...nevermind...15 minutes in I think the "instructor" is actually going to teach me something. Some lady is talking at me...I suppose I should stop blogging and listen. By the way...she's wearing some body suit thing from the 80's. Nice. You do NOT want to see me in one of those! In my yoga video, I am going to be wearing incredibly baggy sweats. No one needs to see all of this...
You know what, I want to see a video of a fat girl doing yoga so that I don't have to be so self-conscious and feel completely incompetent since I cannot literally fold my body in half. Maybe this fat girl should create a yoga video for other fatties out there so we can feel better about our inability to realistically complete half of these poses. This is ridiculous. They aren't even telling me how to do it. What a waste of $10! The Wii Fit is more helpful in teaching me how to do yoga.
Oh...nevermind...15 minutes in I think the "instructor" is actually going to teach me something. Some lady is talking at me...I suppose I should stop blogging and listen. By the way...she's wearing some body suit thing from the 80's. Nice. You do NOT want to see me in one of those! In my yoga video, I am going to be wearing incredibly baggy sweats. No one needs to see all of this...
Monday, November 8, 2010
Holiday shopping, all in one place!
I love Christmas! Have I mentioned that before? :-)
You love Christmas too right? And this weekend there will be a Holiday Bazaar in St. Louis. If you're in the area, here are some reasons you should attend:
#1. You read the coolest blog ever and want to show everyone how cool you are - maybe I'll have a button that says "I'm awesome and I read about this event on my favorite blog!" Yeah, you are awesome and cool, but we all know there won't really be a button. And that this likely is NOT your favorite blog!
#2. You love free food. Yes, that's right. Free food. For a small price. Wait, what? There is a SMALL $5 entry fee, which is going to cover to cost of the food.
#3. You love giving to good causes. This is to help raise money to get my kids into a new school building. Not just my kids. Lots of kids. Who need a good school building. So they can learn and become the Godly men and women of our future. Most people love kids, right? If you're interested in knowing more details on the whys of needing a new building (and yes it is a NEED), feel free to contact me.
#4. You love all things "direct sales" related (WHO DOESN'T)! There will be 20-25 different "vendors" there to make your shopping one-stop. People like The Pampered Chef (you might just find me at that booth), Silpada Jewelry, Discovery Toys, Gold Canyon Candles, Uppercase Living, Thirty One, Mary Kay... The list is endless. Not really. It's actually short in comparison with the concept of endless.
#5. You love fashion! There will be a mini fashion show, kids and adults, and it'll be adorable and fun, and DECENT. No bikinis and short skirts...we ARE a Christian school after all and want to be proper! Do you have a 9 year old who wants to wear the latest skimpy fashion? Bring her (or him I suppose?) and maybe it'll be just what she (or he...) needs!
#6. You have nothing better to do on Friday night, from 6:30-9:30pm and you are in the St. Louis area. Let's face it. If you're in the St. Louis area, THIS COULD BE YOU!
#7. You write a blog called "The Life of a Sippy Cup Mom" and I'm begging you to show up and keep me company for a few minutes - it's the least you can do for this shameless plug I just gave you! ;-)
#8. You're my friend or acquaintance and you hear my cries and pleas for someone, ANYONE (unless you're a creepy stalker then please stay away), to show up and keep me company.
#9. You want a FREE incredibly valuable (and by valuable I mean it's worth $1 and has some awesome recipes in it) COOKBOOK, which you can get simply by saying "I read about this event on your blog!" For real. It's the least I can do. You have to say those exact words though or I won't remember that I promised you a cookbook.
#10. You love Christmas shopping! This will be a great way for you to knock out some of your shopping. Oh and don't worry, if you can't be there because you live out of town (that's the only acceptable reason for you not to attend), and you want anything from any of the vendors listed below, let me know and I'll find a way for you to order and have it shipped out to you. For a complete list of vendors, contact me and I'll get that to you.
You love Christmas too right? And this weekend there will be a Holiday Bazaar in St. Louis. If you're in the area, here are some reasons you should attend:
#1. You read the coolest blog ever and want to show everyone how cool you are - maybe I'll have a button that says "I'm awesome and I read about this event on my favorite blog!" Yeah, you are awesome and cool, but we all know there won't really be a button. And that this likely is NOT your favorite blog!
#2. You love free food. Yes, that's right. Free food. For a small price. Wait, what? There is a SMALL $5 entry fee, which is going to cover to cost of the food.
#3. You love giving to good causes. This is to help raise money to get my kids into a new school building. Not just my kids. Lots of kids. Who need a good school building. So they can learn and become the Godly men and women of our future. Most people love kids, right? If you're interested in knowing more details on the whys of needing a new building (and yes it is a NEED), feel free to contact me.
#4. You love all things "direct sales" related (WHO DOESN'T)! There will be 20-25 different "vendors" there to make your shopping one-stop. People like The Pampered Chef (you might just find me at that booth), Silpada Jewelry, Discovery Toys, Gold Canyon Candles, Uppercase Living, Thirty One, Mary Kay... The list is endless. Not really. It's actually short in comparison with the concept of endless.
#5. You love fashion! There will be a mini fashion show, kids and adults, and it'll be adorable and fun, and DECENT. No bikinis and short skirts...we ARE a Christian school after all and want to be proper! Do you have a 9 year old who wants to wear the latest skimpy fashion? Bring her (or him I suppose?) and maybe it'll be just what she (or he...) needs!
#6. You have nothing better to do on Friday night, from 6:30-9:30pm and you are in the St. Louis area. Let's face it. If you're in the St. Louis area, THIS COULD BE YOU!
#7. You write a blog called "The Life of a Sippy Cup Mom" and I'm begging you to show up and keep me company for a few minutes - it's the least you can do for this shameless plug I just gave you! ;-)
#8. You're my friend or acquaintance and you hear my cries and pleas for someone, ANYONE (unless you're a creepy stalker then please stay away), to show up and keep me company.
#9. You want a FREE incredibly valuable (and by valuable I mean it's worth $1 and has some awesome recipes in it) COOKBOOK, which you can get simply by saying "I read about this event on your blog!" For real. It's the least I can do. You have to say those exact words though or I won't remember that I promised you a cookbook.
#10. You love Christmas shopping! This will be a great way for you to knock out some of your shopping. Oh and don't worry, if you can't be there because you live out of town (that's the only acceptable reason for you not to attend), and you want anything from any of the vendors listed below, let me know and I'll find a way for you to order and have it shipped out to you. For a complete list of vendors, contact me and I'll get that to you.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Christmas shopping
As my kids get older, it is more difficult to shop for them for Christmas. Kaleb is easy. He said he wanted cash. DONE. I'm contemplating getting some small, different-sized, gift boxes from the dollar store and wrapping up dollar bills. I think he'd get a big kick out of that. And if trying to shop for the kids wasn't hard enough, Kris wants some $50 Wii games. Well here's the problem with that. We should have enough money set aside by the time Christmas rolls around for the kids. But Kris and I will have to use our own spending money this year on each other because, well the money is just not anywhere else in the budget. And everything he wants is expensive. Well, I'm not rolling in the money. I don't just have hundreds of dollars to use on him for Christmas. In fact, I'm pretty selfish and I'm not looking forward to having very little spending money, but I like to give gifts, so I think it'll be worth it. Maybe. :-)
I love Christmas!! I love giving gifts, as I mentioned above. I love Christmas music. And I love Veggie Tales. Yes, as a 31 year old woman, I LOVE Veggie Tales! So I was thrilled when I saw a friend tell another friend on Facebook about getting a Veggie Tales Christmas album for free on Amazon.com. So, I don't know how long it will last (I did it about 30 minutes ago), but if you are interested, go to Amazon.com and look up The Incredible Singing Christmas Tree.
I love Christmas!! I love giving gifts, as I mentioned above. I love Christmas music. And I love Veggie Tales. Yes, as a 31 year old woman, I LOVE Veggie Tales! So I was thrilled when I saw a friend tell another friend on Facebook about getting a Veggie Tales Christmas album for free on Amazon.com. So, I don't know how long it will last (I did it about 30 minutes ago), but if you are interested, go to Amazon.com and look up The Incredible Singing Christmas Tree.
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