It has been a really long week. Well...really the last month has been long, but this week has seemed so stressful and difficult to get through. It is actually kind of depressing to me that today has barely started and there is still tomorrow to get through before the weekend.
I took Kaleb to the pediatrician on Monday. He seemed to think that my concerns were valid and suggested that I take Kaleb to see a child phsychologist. He didn't think there was anything physical going on with him.
Tuesday night at counseling Kris and I asked Karen about it. She recommended a lady that takes our insurance...she is a Christian and specializes in working with young children. We have been praying for Kaleb quite a bit. We are thinking that maybe he is sensitive to spiritual warfare or something of the sort. I think the prayers aren't really helping him so much but they are helping Kris and I, I think, to stay focused and try to trust God with how to handle Kaleb.
Today for no reason he just started taking his cereal and milk out of his bowl with his fingers and dropping it on the floor. I just calmly took his bowl and spoon away and out came the anger from him. He screamed in his chair for a while and then got down and knocked his chair over, on purpose. He screamed and yelled and made these ugly noises at me, and then suddenly, he was fine. I don't get it. And recently (this week) he has started to draw these questionable pictures. He is obsessed with his lower body, which the doctor said was not unusual for his age, but twice now I have caught him drawing picture with 'boy anatomy' and he talks about it and laughs as he is drawing them. It's just weird.
There is a fear deep down that Kris and I have, that someone has done something to him. The thing is, we can't figure out who or where or when. We don't leave the kids alone too often and when we do it is usually just with Cindy and Dean, and the thought does not even enter my mind that one of them would be doing something. Kris either. I know that none of us have done anything. And maybe no one else has either. I hope that is the case. But these signs he is displaying and the obsession...it's all just kind of weird.
Anyway, I have an appointment to meet with the psychologist next Wednesday. I hope that I can survive with him until then. On the positive side, Kris only has 3 days of work next week with the holiday and all.
My sister and her fiance are coming into town next Wednesday. That will be fun. We will spend Thanksgiving together and then my sister and I will have our annual (we started last year) stand out in the cold to get some good shopping deals the day after Thanksgiving. That night, as long as we can find a sitter, Kris and I will take Jenny and Raju to the casino, kind of like a bachelor/bachelorette thing for them. It should be fun.
I need to find a stress reliever. I feel so tense and have for the last couple of weeks with Kaleb. It has been very difficult to stay home with him. And yesterday Katherine's teacher told me that for the first time they have had to get onto her for not paying attention at circle time and she has gotten in trouble. I really think it is because of the situation and tension in the home with Kaleb and his behavior. I think it is sad. The fact that she is now being affected during school by it...something is just not right. Hopefully we will get it figured out. I know that God is in control of all things and that He will guide us. I just hope that He gives me extra strength in the process.
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