I found out yesterday that Mrs. Keethler died. Wow. It's hard to bring all my thoughts together concerning this. What a sweet old lady. She was 95 years old, and had been married for over 70 years of her life. Can you imagine that? 70 years, the majority of your life, spent with someone you loved. My heart is so sad for Mr. Keethler. Talk about two people in love. What a testimony they were to Kris and I, and so many others of what a godly marriage should look like. They were unselfish, freely giving whatever they could for others. Dacia and I were talking about this last night. A couple Christmases ago, Mr. Keethler came up to Kris and I and gave us an envelope. He told us that each year he and Mrs. Keethler decide to give a gift to someone else, and one of them had chosen Kris and I. The other had chosen Dacia and Kyle. It wasn't just a gift for us. It was their gift to each other. In our envelope was $100 dollars. I know that I will never forget that example of love and selflessness. And I know I will never forget that couple that I would see at Dairy Queen, still having dates with one another. Holding hands, sweet as could be. From the time I met them, I told Kris over and over again that they are what I wanted to be. I want that kind of marriage, that kind of love and oneness with him. I know that it only comes from God and that Mr. and Mrs. Keethler lived life in such a way that you couldn't help but see God and feel his love and presence. Mrs. Keethler is with the Lord now, and how joyous that is for her. What will Mr. Keethler do now? How would you go on living a life that you had shared with another person for as long as you can remember? How do you continue to press on...what else is left to live for? May God bring him peace and comfort until the day He chooses to reunite them!

It is slow tonight at work-not a complaint at all!! I like when it is slow, except that at times it can get boring. One can only play so much spider solitaire. Some dummies decided to keep downloading stuff so they have banned any type of online game-which we used to be able to play. Now the choices are minesweeper, regular solitaire, spider solitaire and some cheap version of pinball.



I want to quit my job. Is that bad? I just started again in December. Any advice? Here's the situation. I love my job. I like the people, I like the call center environment, I like the customers...I just plain like it. The downsides: the 20 minute drive back and forth (especially since I work until 11pm), not being home in the evenings two nights when Kris is actually home, being REQUIRED to work one weekend day (and Friday is not considered the weekend), and the time that the job takes away from my own time to myself and time with my family. The benefits, besides liking my job?? There is only one. The money. What a sad benefit. Why have I become so dependent upon this job just for the money? I mean, I like the work, but that is a whole lot easier to give up than the money. We have so much debt, and while Kris' new job is significantly higher pay, we are going to have more expenses. Health insurance is more expensive, we have no life insurance as of 4/10/04 so if anything happens to any of us we are basically screwed--so we need to purchase that, at least for Kris. Gas prices have gotten out of hand so we spend more there, and Kris' commute farther so we use more gas. If I stopped working-the extra gas he uses would be made up for in the fact that I wouldn't be commuting also. I know that working gives me a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, and gives me adult conversation and a break from my real life, so that too would be difficult to give up.



But the benefits would be nice. We would have more time to devote to our family, more time to be involved in ministry, we could go back to counseling (although there would be another expense). Hmm...we could also do some camping this summer. As it is I work every Saturday night and they are all already closed through August, which means that if I wanted off some Saturday night, I can't take off.



How great it would feel to create a budget and then live off of it. Does anyone out there actually do this? We have a kind of budget. We know how much we need for all of our bills and we pay all of our bills and have money for groceries and diapers. I don't really think that is considered a budget.



There are my thoughts. I am kind of down tonight. I have felt incredibly tense the last week and can't figure out the source. Is it just satan, or have I put too much on myself??

I saw Addie yesterday. That was nice. She is finally back from Europe and I am glad. I think I would have gone crazy if I had to go much longer with out my weekly break from reality! She brought me a giraffe from Italy-it's made of mahogany (sp??). It's cool. We made our usual Target run-how fun for us!



I changed my work schedule. I only work 3 nights now, instead of 4 and it is really nice. This week I worked Monday/Tuesday and then will work Saturday. It has been really nice after Tuesday to just sit at home and think, well, I don't have to go back to work until Saturday. I love my job--the commute is getting old though, as is not being home in the evenings when Kris is home. He seems to really like his new job. I think that's great! We'll see as time goes on what kind of pressure it will have with it-hopefully an insignificant amount.



I am really enjoying learning to play Bridge. It's difficult and confusing but the parts I am beginning to understand are a lot of fun! It's cool too that we get to learn from Jim and Mary, because that means we get to be spending time with them.



I am not really concerned about Abbey's hearing, because she listens. She understands when I tell her to do something. She puts her cup on the table, sits down, finds her blanket and plug, hugs/kisses her brother and sister...pretty much anything I tell her to do she does. But she just doesn't really talk. Not even mama or dada. That's what concerns me is that she should at least being saying those words. She needs her 15 month and 18 month shots so when I take her in for that I'll check with the doctor.

I have been really edgy lately. Does anyone have a cure for that. I didn't take my medicine for like 3 days and I know that was a big part of it. How sad! I really wish I could be calm and relaxed and my old self (not the sin "old self"-just my happy, somewhat calm old self) WITHOUT medication. But I am okay with the fact that I may never be able to. It definitely helps me, so I will keep taking it until God leads me in another direction.



I still do not have my iud out. After two different cancellations (both on the part of the doctor's office) Kris and I have decided to spend a little more time praying about the decision. I hate the way I have felt since I have had it in, but I think this new medicine is making a bigger difference than the old, and maybe that will be enough. We'll keep praying. I know I don't want more kids right now (maybe never) and so it sure is easier to just leave the thing in and not have to worry about it. I will wait for God's direction on that as well.



The kids went to VBS this morning at FCC of Florissant. Just the older ones. Abbey and hung out for a couple of hours. It was so cool though. I forgot to tell Kris this, but they had no problems separating and going to their classes and when I went to pick them up the cutest thing happened. I tear up just thinking about it. Children love you and others so easily. I picked Kaleb up first and then we went to find Katherine's room. She saw me and exclaimed "Mommy!" That wasn't the cute part. When she got over to me she saw Kaleb standing right in front of me and went straight to him and hugged him. She didn't say anything to anyone, she just hugged him. It was the cutest thing I think I've seen her do. What else but love could motivate that?



They are going to go all week, so long as I get them up and over there. And at the end of the week they will have a little program for the parents to see what the kids have learned. Did you ever think it adorable when the little tiny kids got up in front of church to sing or say Scripture? There's always a couple kids who are really cute and don't do things just as they are supposed to?? I always thought that was cute and now I'll get to see my kids up there. I wonder if either of them will be the real cute ones that stand out. We'll see. I'm sure they will stand out to Kris and I anyway, whether they do something to distract the attention from the whole group or not. Katherine knows her memory verse from today "Love one another." It's so cool.



Abbey still is not talking. Dacia--should I be concerned? She says uh oh, and she says ok on a pretty regular basis, but everything else is just noise. She doesn't say mama or dada at all. This seems odd to me, as she is 18 months old already. Hmm...

I wrote this last night but could not get it to post, so I am going to try again today.



Here is my kid story for today. I am working tonight and on my fifteen minute break I called Kris. Soon after he told me all the kids were in bed I hear this little voice, up out of bed. I wasn't really surprised because Katherine always has at least one excuse every night after she's gone to bed. Usually it is this: "I just need to ask one question." And usually the question is not anything earth-shattering. So, I hear her come out and she starts telling Kris to tell me that she wants me to come in her room when I get home. And I hear Kris say, "Why don't you tell mommy yourself." So, Katherine, half on the phone/half off (because her voice seemed farther away than usual) starts saying "Mommy, um mommy, um can you, um mommy, can you, um I want daddy to tell you to come into my room when you get home and give me a hug and a kiss." Then she said bye and I love you and back to bed she went! How funny! She gets on the phone, we're thinking to tell me to come in when I get home. BUT NO! She wants to get on the phone and tell me that she wants daddy to TELL me to come in! We had a great laugh over that, Kris and I did!

Well, I don't have the greatest story to tell about how great the kids were. Actually the story is about their bad behavior, but it sure is a cute story--at least I think so. I was at the computer, and Katherine had gone into the bathroom. I told her to get out of there-she informed me she needed to go potty. So, I told her to go and then shut the door. She came into the kitchen and I asked her if the door was shut so the others wouldn't go in there, and she went to look. So, I thought that was the end of the matter.



Well, after about 15 minutes of complete silence, I began to wonder what was going on. I knew it could not be something good that mommy would approve of. So, I start to get anxious because I think the kids might be in the bathroom. Sure enough, that is exactly where I found them. It is more than that though. Here is the picture-are you ready?



I go into the hallway and look into the bathroom. The water is running in the sink. Abbey is sitting on the floor, Katherine standing by the sink, and Kaleb on his knees UP ON THE SINK! Now, normally I would have been really frustrated and started yelling at them and getting them out of there. BUT...do you know what they were all 3 doing?? Ready? They all had a toothbrush in hand and were busy brushing their teeth! What mother could argue with that? It was kind of cute. It definitely helped me not to get so angry! I don't know who turned the water on--I can only guess it was Kaleb, as he was the one actually ON the sink!



Abbey is being quite busy right now. She's getting into things and just plain busy! She gets like that, especially when she is tired. I will put her down for bed soon. Katherine and Kaleb have been on the couch in the living room for about half an hour, watching Oliver and Company. After Kris got home I went to the library, picked up some videos, got some food for a pizza party with the kids and we had a nice dinner and now they get to watch their movie. It is nice and somewhat quiet here, aside from busy little Abbey, who is just playing and jabbering, so I don't mind it!



So, that is how I am wrapping up my evening and it is definitely better than I thought it would be. My attitude is even better, which I am sure is making the biggest difference! It's off to play canasta and RELAX!!!

Oh that nap time really were that-NAP TIME!! Abbey was sleeping until the non-sleeping children got too loud and woke her up. Kaleb decided that apparently he didn't need a nap today and so he began to fight with Katherine. I got them separated and lying down, and then they both got up and now Abbey is awake. Not the best nap time we've had!



And I think they are purposely bad on the days when they know I will not get a break at all from being mommy. Kris is going out tonight with some friends, and so I get the kids ALL day. I know most women think, yeah, so what? Well, when you're not used to constantly having them with no break all the time, it's difficult to imagine a night with no husband around to relieve you!! I like that he is hanging out with the guys, but I hate that it leaves me home alone. And I swear, EVERY time he is not going to be my relief in the evening, the kids are so much worse. I don't think I'm making it up!!



Can you tell I am frustrated and tense? Oh well--bedtime is about 6 hours away, just 6 hours. Surely I can hold out that long! Dacia you know what I'm talking about--those days when you just can't wait until bedtime!! Today is one of those days.



Hmm...what is there that is good that I can share, since this has taken a very negative turn?? I'll have to think about it and come back to it later...maybe I'll think of something after they are all nicely sleeping in their beds for the night!

Jenn--Thanks for responding! I logged on today and found that yes, it did indeed work! I was happy! The small things amuse (and frustrate) me.



Katherine helped me cook today--she loves to help! She is so funny. She asks what everything is and then wants to help me pour in every ingredient. And she is so amused and excited that there are dandelions and violets out in the front yard. She didn't hear it from me or Kris, but everytime she goes outside now and sees the flowers she says "Mommy look at the flowers. That means it's almost springtime." Who taught her that? Who told her that flowers bloom in the spring? Kris and I cannot figure it out, but personally, I think she's super intelligent! :)



Kris has only 2 days left at Met. They are having a going away party for him tomorrow. And some guy wrote Kris a really nice card and then gave his a $25 gift card to Applebees. I know where he's taking me to dinner tomorrow night! Ha ha. Seriously--he's taking me there!



Work is kind of crazy tonight. It goes back and forth between busy and slow. And for some reason I keep getting stuck in the split to take claims rather than help people on old claims. Every now and then I don't mind, but we have 11 people in customer service and everytime it gets busy in IAT (where new claims are taken) I am always one of the first to get stuck in IAT. I don't understand this. I was of the understanding that all of us customer service reps would cycle through and help out IAT but it seems like I am ALWAYS put there. And I know some people aren't because there are always like 4 in customer service, and I am usually not one of them when it is busy! Oh well...I shouldn't be complaining about it. I really don't mind taking claims--I rather enjoy it for the most part. Isn't that crazy? I get so frsutrated for being put in this split to take claims, even though I don't mind taking the claims. I think it is the principle of the whole thing! Okay, I'm done with that--thanks for letting me vent! Maybe I will change my attitude now. We'll see.

I'm getting REALLY frustrated. I am trying to add my friend Beth as a link on here and when I add her, she is only showing up as a link in my archived blogs. Does anyone know why that is happening? When I go into the template to look at it, the coding is there and when I preview the template her name is there--but when I actually go to the page, she is not appearing! AHHH!! Jenn Reedy: help!!!



Well, work is about over for me and I need to get ready to leave! I'm sleepy tonight. I have to bake a cake tomorrow. They are having a going away party for Kris at work on Thursday and I am making Milky Way cake-yummy!

It has been a little while since I've been on here. Things have been really busy. This week, though, it seems that they are slowing down for a little bit. I went to Chicago this weekend with Beth Cox. It was fun. We just drove out, got a hotel and went from there--no plans, no expectations. It was fun. Although, in case anyone wonders, Navy Pier does not open up until 10am. We did not know this, however. So, we got downtown and parked at Navy Pier at 8am. So, now, what are we going to do for two hours?? Well, Beth decides we should just walk around. I was skeptical--it was cold!! The wind, of course, was strong and it was just downright cold! But we began walking. After we got past Navy Pier, the wind died down a bit and the sun began to shine. It was still cold, but at least it was bearable. At some point our fingers and toes began to "dethaw." Is that even a word? Well, we found a starbucks after about a half hour of walking, and to our surprise and happiness, it was OPEN!!! We went in and had some hot chocolate, and then sat in there for a little bit. Then we braved the cold again, and found a McDonald's and a Dunkin Donuts as we were walking along, both of which were also open. Pretty much NOTHING else was!



I fed a homeless man Sunday morning. He reminded me of some of the guys that Crossroads works with. He was wrapped up in a blanket and standing outside of McDonald's. I wanted some orange juice, so I just bought a meal, kept the OJ for myself and handed him the bag. All I could think of was that Scripture that talks about whatever we do to the least of these, we have done unto Christ. It felt good to be obedient. I think I would have felt awful if I hadn't given him the food. There was another guy, though trying to give us coupons for money--I did not give him money. There is no harm in giving someone food. And if he really wanted to eat, he would have just used his coupons for food, not try to get money for them. I did not feel bad for taking this course of action, however.



I go back to work tonight. I've been off for a while, it seems. The last time I worked was last Wednesday. I'm glad to be going back. I still like my job. I got employee of the month, which was rather exciting, except that someone keeps parking in my parking spot. Whenever I go in to work to park there, there is this same Nissan Pathfinder there. I want to know who that is. Was there some mistake--did they think that THEY were employee of the month? Really, though I don't care--I do find it amusing and wonder if I will ever get to park there. Kris pointed out though that it really is a terrible parking spot--it is kind of narrow and right next to a wall. Maybe I should be thankful the Nissan Pathfinder is parking there!